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Relationship with AS (undiagnosed)

Tam

New Member
hi all —

I’m new here... wanted your advice and some insight... my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. Most of it has been long distance, but we lived together for 2 months this past summer. Everything was going well... except just before I was meant to leave the country to visit my family in another country for a month, he went into my phone and read my messages. In these messages he saw my frustrations to my close friends and family about the relationship.. my doubts as well as a text to a male friend which he misconstrued. He was understandably hurt and felt betrayed. I apologized and we both agreed to go on a temporary break for a month while I came to visit my family in another country. We didn’t speak much unless I reached out. I professed my deep love for him and I said I will do anything for t to work. I asked if we were still together and he said yes, he just needs space. I probably wasn’t as amazing as I could’ve been with the space thing — I didn’t reach out for a week, then reached out, gave him 2 weeks more of space and then another 2 weeks on no contact until the other day when I asked if he could get me from the airport... which then turned into a discussion on how the break should be permanent. We both agreed.... now since then we have texted a bit here and there and I suggested that we meet in person to say goodbye and speak. He agreed it was a good idea... now I’m feeling like I’d like to ask him for another chance for us.. I know he deeply loves me and vice versa... I am just aware of the fact that I don’t want to shock or surprise him and put him on the spot... but I also feel like I shouldn’t text him before about wanting to give us another chance, and rather leave that for in person. He has undiagnosed AS and I’m NT...
 
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Welcome.

Regarding your relationship, don’t chase something that is not there. He is not there. These things happen.
 
I think what has happened is

1. You started living together. Even in NT/NT relationships, no matter how close or in love you are, this can destroy everything as you start to learn all the little quirks and annoyances you can't possibly know otherwise.
2. Understandably, as you said, he feels betrayed by you because of the content of messages. Although having said that, given he felt the need to search through your phone in the first place is not a good sign.

I agree with above, don't seek a reconnection. Clean break is best and easiest.
 
Yes, I agree. Let him go.
 

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