Recurring Problem

[mw2530]

My abilities and skills in various parts of life seem to vary from almost no ability to extremely high ability with little in between. Everyone varies in abilities, but I feel like those on the spectrum seem to have more of the polar variation. This wide variation in abilities naturally causes problems in life. I struggle significantly socially, but have exceptional technical abilities with my job. So when talking with others about technical aspects of the job, I can get bored if others are not at a similar level of knowledge. On the flip side, I seem to get bored quickly in social conversations that others would consider normal. I'm not sure why I get bored exactly - I just struggle to stay interested. The result is feelings of being unfulfilled. Due to a lack of quality relationships and feeling unchallenged at work. This is just one example. Can anyone else relate to this?

 

[Fino]

Yep! Especially to the part about social conversations. If it's not an interesting topic, I'm dead-bored within a fraction of a second and start planning my escape. I've been known to suddenly blurt, "Okay, I'm leaving now."

 

[Streetwise]

Yep! Especially to the part about social conversations. If it's not an interesting topic, I'm dead-bored within a fraction of a second and start planning my escape. I've been known to suddenly blurt, "Okay, I'm leaving now."

My reaction to OK I’m leaving nowwould love to do it

 

[Thinx]

Yes I get what you mean. I did masses of therapy over the years so I learnt strategies, albeit some of what I learnt taught me to mask my actual responses and pretend to feel differently to an extent that I don't think neurotypical people do, they genuinely do these behaviours.

I just watched @Autistamatics video about neurodiversity, and it captures well how this works. The world is built without awareness of neurodiversity, and systems and norms are therefore not adapted to difference and different styles of brain functioning.

This often means we don't feel accepted or understood, plus we are censured for not fitting in. Yet fitting in is frequently uncomfortable and may be distressing or very difficult and unrewarding. Hard to say short term what the answer to this is. Big picture, Change the way the world is. Short term, adapt as best one can to get optimal results for oneself.

 

[Gracey]

An acceptance of knowing others don't process like I do generally works for me.
Diversity is okay.

I don't have to understand why we're different (mostly)
I just know it's consistent and happens.

Experience has taught me I fair better keeping my opinions to myself when talking to people I don't know well, unless I'm asked for my opinion.
(the above is a theory that takes practice)

Do I get bored?
Hell, yes
I've learned a conversation is a group effort.
Turn taking and tolerance.

That boredom I experience can be the same boredom others experience when I rattle on about a subject.
I believe this has taught me some measure of patience and tolerance when bored with a conversation.
(not endless amounts, just enough to endure)

 

[Autistamatic]

You might find some of this video helpful. It's primary topic is why autistic people often have difficulty finding and/or keeping work, but it includes information about our "spiky (skills & knowledge) profiles" - the exact phenomenon you are describing.

 

[GadAbout]

In my last two jobs, totaling about 11 years I think, I found it useful to leverage my social strengths to buffer against my social missteps. I tried to reach out and cultivate relationships - not deep lasting ones, but a few people I could flash a cheerful smile at in passing.