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Recovering from a lifetime full of gaslighting.

Gaslighting can be hard to recognize when you’re the victim. I was gaslit for years and it was pretty bad that I actually started to say the same thing my abuser was telling me about myself including that I deserved to be hit for doing certain things and making mistakes. My therapist was pretty horrified when I said that and told me that this was not normal. Gaslighting is a way for an abuser to have total control over their victims. I’ve noticed that ever since Tangled, gaslighting has been shown in cartoons and kids shows. My Little Pony Make Your Mark is currently showing an isolated character being gaslit by her caretaker and how the victim is slowly learning that what she has been told about the outside world are lies and whenever she says anything that contradicts or goes against what her caretaker says or wants the victim to believe, the caretaker says something hurtful and reminds her victim that without her, the victim would be homeless and have no friends or protection.
 
Gaslighting can be hard to recognize when you’re the victim. I was gaslit for years and it was pretty bad that I actually started to say the same thing my abuser was telling me about myself including that I deserved to be hit for doing certain things and making mistakes. My therapist was pretty horrified when I said that and told me that this was not normal. Gaslighting is a way for an abuser to have total control over their victims. I’ve noticed that ever since Tangled, gaslighting has been shown in cartoons and kids shows. My Little Pony Make Your Mark is currently showing an isolated character being gaslit by her caretaker and how the victim is slowly learning that what she has been told about the outside world are lies and whenever she says anything that contradicts or goes against what her caretaker says or wants the victim to believe, the caretaker says something hurtful and reminds her victim that without her, the victim would be homeless and have no friends or protection.
Yeah, that is kinda how like my entire family tells me that my life would have been a lot more miserable if it were not for my mother.

I am ruminating a lot about this tonight for the first time in a while. That can’t be healthy. I have my own damn life where she deserves no say in anything.
 
Yeah, that is kinda how like my entire family tells me that my life would have been a lot more miserable if it were not for my mother.

I am ruminating a lot about this tonight for the first time in a while. That can’t be healthy. I have my own damn life where she deserves no say in anything.
I think it is okay to think about occasionally and that it’s the brain’s way of recovering from the trauma as long as it doesn’t become an obsessive thought. I generally let memories of being gaslit run it’s course inside my mind and allow it to leave my thoughts on their own.
 
Yeah, that is kinda how like my entire family tells me that my life would have been a lot more miserable if it were not for my mother.

I am ruminating a lot about this tonight for the first time in a while. That can’t be healthy. I have my own damn life where she deserves no say in anything.
Dec usually represents family and holidays. I tend to remind myself this, l also remind myself, that there are many dysfunctional families and relationships. The month of Dec just seems to amplify all the truly dysfunctional people that exist. In Florida in a timeframe of two weeks, we have had two men shoot their girlfriend or wife, then kill themselves. Psychiatrists will tell you that is the busiest month of the year for them, because we realize how truly messed up our family is. So in December, cut yourself some slack. You have come so far, and now you are able to truly focus on you. But l agree, it's hard for us in December.
 
All of these vicious memories are overwhelming me, especially since now my mother has made it clear she is demanding me to go to a massive family gathering tomorrow, one in which she knows will be sensory hell for me. I might take up drinking again tomorrow just to avoid a meltdown while I am there.
 

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