Psychiatrist making me think even deeper than I do already

[Suzanne]

So, what is talked about at the psychiatrist, is the reason for my chronic social phobia, or as I think also, agrophobia (excuse dreadful spelling; nazi grammars out there)

He said that my husband has to take me for walks every day, and then, one day, drop me off and I walk on my own. When my husband translated this for me, I immediately realised it would be DISASTEROUS to do it this way, which now prompts me to have to explain myself using google translater.

I said:if anything, he needs to take me to an area and walk with me and then, the next time, I can walk on my own and this is how my brain works. I am PETRIFIED of new places. Or, if the end destination of my walk, is something scary, the whole experience is traumatising for me.

Today, I have to really put myself on the line and hope it won't backfire. I need to put cheques in slot at the bank. Now, at all times, my husband does this, but things have panned out that it was not done, but those cheques need to be put in and thus, since I am going out with two spiritual sisters this afternoon, it is a good opportunity for me to ask to pop over to the bank and get them posted, but the snag is, I have to ask the sister to go up and this is so mortifying. She knows I have social phobia, but unless one truly knows how it feels, I am in danger of being mocked. As a mere child might fear doing that; but a full grown woman?!!! The awful thing is, that the next time, I will be able to do it on my own!

I also realised even more so, that in my own country of the uk, I was never as bad as this. I got scared, but I had stratagies that helped me cope, but it is like being in a constantly strange place in France, that despite my longevity of being here, I just cannot feel comfortable exploring on my own.

The first time we went to the therapist centre, my husband had to explain exactly where the toilet was and it just happened to be right outside the waiting area and now, I can go on my own, accept for the first day, my coodination went out of the window and I could not find where the entrance was!

 

[Streetwise]

try to do it when it is a quiet part of the day!go out for a minute !then the next time if you can manage it a minute and a half-I think what I've just described is desensitisation?!
i've never managed desensitisation successfully as my memory is so bad ,what I do if I am near crisis period is go out in an enclosed area .

 

[Suzanne]

try to do it when it is a quiet part of the day!go out for a minute !then the next time if you can manage it a minute and a half-I think what I've just described is desensitisation?!
i've never managed desensitisation successfully as my memory is so bad ,what I do if I am near crisis period is go out in an enclosed area .

Unable to, because I am not in charge, otherwise I would, because in fact, monday, no one is around in the morning, where I live and so, I take that opportunity to pop to the bins.

 

[Progster]

Yes, that makes sense - and having your husband drop you off at an unfamiliar place and walk back would really be putting you in at the deep end, so to speak. I've had the experience of moving to a new country or town, and everything being familiar, and I 'acclimatized' myself by going short distances at first, keeping the house in sight, until the street became familiar, then venturing further but keeping a point on the street visible, going a bit further each day, until I felt comfortable. Also, if you are walking along, always look behind you to see where you came from. Do a little bit each day, each day a little further.

Also, using Google street map helps, I find, because you can have a look before you go.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

Yeah, I'm not very good with new places either. I've been seeing a assistant psychologist for a few sessions on talking about autism and we're going into public spaces for these talks. The idea is to get further and further outside my comfort zone to help me normalise being in control of a situation. I don't like being in a public space if I have no reason to be there, I prefer to be at home where I know the predictability of the situation and I have control over it. I'm sure it comes down to the need for sameness. My psychiatrist did also for a time diagnosed me with agoraphobia but the psychologist argued that that's more historic now and doesn't apply.

 

[Suzanne]

Just to add, that the village I am in, is empty, but with houses all around, that I feel automatically on view each time I go, so taking one step at a time, is really not good for me, because my paranoia starts.

I hear often: but people are too busy with their own lives to be looking at you! Really? Come on, anyone walking about, when not a lot of people are about, are always going to draw notice, even it is just a passing glance!

We also live right next to a bar/tabac and often there are people outside smoking and it is just niave or ignorant to say: they are too busy with their own lives, to look, for actually, they DO LOOK.

My husband is in the process of putting together a hedge, so that I can go into our garden and not feel so on view.

 

[Progster]

Just to add, that the village I am in, is empty, but with houses all around, that I feel automatically on view each time I go, so taking one step at a time, is really not good for me, because my paranoia starts.

I hear often: but people are too busy with their own lives to be looking at you! Really? Come on, anyone walking about, when not a lot of people are about, are always going to draw notice, even it is just a passing glance!

Yes, being in a small village is a lot worse than being in a city, because if there is a new person in the village, everyone notices and watches to see what they are doing - not a nice feeling. If it were me, I'd find it difficult, too.

 

[tducey]

I find new places hard at first too. But I find getting myself used to them really helps.