Privacy

[umbrellabeach]

Is it common for Aspies to have an extreme want/need for privacy?
Me, I feel like I'm always surrounded by people who try to poke their nose into my private business and can't leave me alone. I feel like they're always watching me and always demand to know where I am and what I'm doing. I love being alone because I feel too awkward around other people, but I can never be alone for very long, sometimes not at all. Because of all the people everywhere I don't even want to go outside and play, although I always feel so much better outside than when I'm inside. I don't mean to hide anything, but I really want privacy. People who don't leave me alone just irk me to death.
And you know what's really weird about this? I'm more at ease around strangers, people at stores and parks and things, than I am around my own family and some of my friends. I'd rather tell my business to them than to people who actually know me.
Is this an Aspie thing, or am I just a really private person?

 

[hmkey:)]

Well my advice is stop thinking like that.
It is not really a aspie thing but more of a schizofrenic thing.
They are both mental disorders which have to do with a high activity in the brain so it would be kind of normal that it overlaps each other but um try to stop thinking like that, i think you can.
If you really get extreme stressed feeling then you can take anti psychotic(neuroleptics)pills or some other kind, its a hard decision but in some cases really a good thing to take them.

 

[jaredis1]

Is it common for Aspies to have an extreme want/need for privacy?
And you know what's really weird about this? I'm more at ease around strangers, people at stores and parks and things, than I am around my own family and some of my friends. I'd rather tell my business to them than to people who actually know me.
Is this an Aspie thing, or am I just a really private person?

i do that too but i am open to you all but to my mom and dad i do not say nething to them

 

[umbrellabeach]

Well my advice is stop thinking like that.

That would be very hard, because these thoughts of mine are based on experience. I feel people can't leave me alone because they often do try to get into my business, and ask me what I'm doing all the time even when I can't see why it would matter to them. Sometimes when I try go to and be alone they'll try to come with me or find me. I live among very social people, extroverts, who just don't understand why introverts would need to be alone. These things that have happened to me come back to mind and I feel as though they're going to happen again. It's kind of like a classically autistic person with hearing sensitivity who refuses to go back into a room because he's afraid the smoke alarm will go off again.

i do that too but i am open to you all but to my mom and dad i do not say nething to them

I think that's because people who know us will judge us more, but people who don't will probably not think much of it, especially since we likely won't meet up again.

 

[Sean2222]

Is it common for Aspies to have an extreme want/need for privacy?
Me, I feel like I'm always surrounded by people who try to poke their nose into my private business and can't leave me alone. I feel like they're always watching me and always demand to know where I am and what I'm doing. I love being alone because I feel too awkward around other people, but I can never be alone for very long, sometimes not at all. Because of all the people everywhere I don't even want to go outside and play, although I always feel so much better outside than when I'm inside. I don't mean to hide anything, but I really want privacy. People who don't leave me alone just irk me to death.
And you know what's really weird about this? I'm more at ease around strangers, people at stores and parks and things, than I am around my own family and some of my friends. I'd rather tell my business to them than to people who actually know me.
Is this an Aspie thing, or am I just a really private person?

I think it's an aspie thing. We don't want others around because... we don't want them around. At least I don't. I have learned and conditioned myself to be alone majority of the time and I see that as the safest most productive place for me. I won't even let anyone in close to me literally or figuratively unless they prove to me to be a good person and be someone I can relate to and trust. Not in my airspace or proximity, not in my life. Most people don't qualify and never will. I have had enough failed social interactions and other futile attempts at something with people that it showed me I need to be this way to keep my sanity. 

 

[alyssa_j_c]

And you know what's really weird about this? I'm more at ease around strangers, people at stores and parks and things, than I am around my own family and some of my friends. I'd rather tell my business to them than to people who actually know me.
Is this an Aspie thing, or am I just a really private person?

I think that's because people who know us will judge us more, but people who don't will probably not think much of it, especially since we likely won't meet up again.

I can't answer if this is an aspie thing or not, but I am the same way. And I think you got it exactly right--I feel like I will be judged more by people who know me, and even if a stranger does judge me, chances are I'll never see them again.

 

[Sean2222]

Well my advice is stop thinking like that.
It is not really a aspie thing but more of a schizofrenic thing.
They are both mental disorders which have to do with a high activity in the brain so it would be kind of normal that it overlaps each other but um try to stop thinking like that, i think you can.
If you really get extreme stressed feeling then you can take anti psychotic(neuroleptics)pills or some other kind, its a hard decision but in some cases really a good thing to take them.

Oh so she said a few lines and now you are judging her? Are you a doctor or just an idiot who thinks they should be playing one? What she's going through is not a mental/psychotic disorder at all idiot. Most aspies feel this way alot of the time, does thta make us all psychotic? So my advice to you is just go away. This is why I have my biases against idiot males.

 

[chinaberry]

I am private I suppose, my dad makes a big deal of the fact that I'm nervy and jumpy. But every teenager is like that, aren't they?
And my friends refer to me as 'mysterious' and say I won't open up enough (how much do they want!).
But...example, I'd feel uncomfortable if I lent someone a book with my scribbles in the margins. I feel uncomfortable if there's someone else in my room. But then my room is like an open book, so I'm bound to feel a bit in the open.

 

[smithgirl656]

i'm a very private person and i can't even be with any of my friends for to long with out feeling overwhelmed and needing to be alone. and i think it is an asperger thing because when i was being diagnosed my doctor asked me about things like wanting to be alone, and people on here say they agree. i know a boy with aspergers who also has a problem with thinking people are watching an talking about him, we are in a group and our therapist says its not a bad thing just a nervous thing, he has.

 

[umbrellabeach]

chinaberry - Me too! When I was younger I used to scribble and write in books all the time, but then get embarrassed if someone saw them.

Often I'll also feel uncomfortable when I'm on the computer and there are other people around because I always feel like they're watching what I'm doing. This is one of the reasons I like to have multiple tabs/windows open, so I can switch if I feel watched. And I have been watched before. Like I said, these feelings come from what's actually happened to me. I also refuse to use public restrooms, or even private ones if there are people hovering outside the door. To me, simply being behind a door is not private enough.
I just generally hate being hovered around, no matter what I'm doing - reading, shopping, you name it.

 

[Sean2222]

chinaberry - Me too! When I was younger I used to scribble and write in books all the time, but then get embarrassed if someone saw them.

Often I'll also feel uncomfortable when I'm on the computer and there are other people around because I always feel like they're watching what I'm doing. This is one of the reasons I like to have multiple tabs/windows open, so I can switch if I feel watched. And I have been watched before. Like I said, these feelings come from what's actually happened to me. I also refuse to use public restrooms, or even private ones if there are people hovering outside the door. To me, simply being behind a door is not private enough.
I just generally hate being hovered around, no matter what I'm doing - reading, shopping, you name it.

@Layla & Anne >> I thought I was the only one who had those feelings... It always seems like someone is hovering over me and watching me because I have really poor depth perception. so if they are near me then it feels like they are right on top of me. And I totally lose focus/concentration in what I am trying to do at the moment. Kind of like trying too hard to make eye contact and then it sabotages a conversation. Also part of the reason I could never eat lunch in cafeterias in school where you are sitting really close to people. It is like all the horrible parts of the disorder wrapped up into like 30 minutes of hell<><>


-sean-

 

[umbrellabeach]

Yepyep. I find myself thinking, "GO AWAY!" to people all the time. Sometimes I even ask them to go away, but the message just goes right over their heads, or they get all offended. Meh.

 

[Xanderr]

agreed anne. absolutely haaaaate people watching anything im writing down/texting/typing etc. makes me feel so unbelievably uncomfortable. even just standing behind me while im doing so.

 

[richbebo]

rrr dont get me started on privacy, i hate people being nosey

 

[umbrellabeach]

Oh so she said a few lines and now you are judging her?

Yeah, which is basically what you've been doing to me recently too. Shut up and stop insulting every male on this forum. They may not fully understand my issues and reasons for them - but you obviously don't either, and I don't think you'd listen if I tried to explain. They're honestly trying to help, so mind your own business.

 

[142857]

Yeah, which is basically what you've been doing to me recently too. Shut up and stop insulting every male on this forum. They may not fully understand my issues and reasons for them - but you obviously don't either, and I don't think you'd listen if I tried to explain. They're honestly trying to help, so mind your own business.

+1

Although now you're gonna cop it, you've pissed off the "alpha male". :showoff: It would be good if more people spoke up about members who act like this, that may force the mods to do something.

As for privacy, I have a strong want/need for privacy as well. This is normal for those on the spectrum. Contact and interaction with people is good for you though. I guess you just need to find a way to do that on your own terms.

 

[Calvert]

may force the mods to do something.

The mods already have. Let's leave it at that.

 

[umbrellabeach]

Contact and interaction with people is good for you though. I guess you just need to find a way to do that on your own terms.

Agreed. People have tried to force me into it before, but they should realize it isn't going to work, because I won't be giving it my best and I'll be doing it just to please them and get it over with. In the end it won't amount to anything.

 

[sj2222]

Note: This is by no means any attack on anne or anyone. In fact I got a good laugh out of it all and hold no ill will towards her. Although I do find it curious she wants me not to criticize the males on here when she spent much of the time in her pm's badmouthing a good amount of them herself. Anyone that tells you that taking pills is your answer to every problem and calls you crazy isn't "helping". Neither is giving a few lines of "wisdom" that is just you kissing up to the previous poster help either. But you already knew that. I haven't changed in my views towards males, that's for sure.

Since people like to tell one sided stories (variations of the truth) where the other person isn't present to actually account for themselves... Let's get it straight, a private conversation I had with anne on youtube has no place coming out on here. Anyone else besides her has nothing to do with it anyway.

Anne knows why I'm not talking to her anymore and that's her reaction to it. And I can assure you it had nothing to do with me being judgemental of her because I understand her far better than she will ever admit to on here. She may think it's cool to treat someone badly (I don't) but hopefully I helped her realize that not everyone is going to placate her or give her her way. And sometimes it hurts when someone tells you what you don't want to hear. And it obviously hurt her enough to send me two more 'debate filled get her point across as being right' pm's on yt and now this. It's too bad I didn't read either one but I already got the gist of them without even having to. I'm not discussing it any further because it is private.

Again, my conversation with her has no bearing on this site whatsoever. I have made nothing but positive contributions to this forum and just because my beliefs may differ from some others on here doesn't mean I should be treated any differently. Note to calvert. Oh and the user with all numbers in his nick never ceases to disappoint with his hateful, spiteful, useless, clueless (did I leave out spineless) commentary. But thanks for the 'alpha male' thing. I appreciate it, sarcasm or not... Now I can dub you beta male. Oh I forgot that's already been done long ago.

-sean-

 

[Calvert]

Again, my conversation with her has no bearing on this site whatsoever. I have made nothing but positive contributions to this forum and just because my beliefs may differ from some others on here doesn't mean I should be treated any differently. Note to calvert. Oh and the user with all numbers in his nick never ceases to disappoint with his hateful, spiteful, useless, clueless (did I leave out spineless) commentary. But thanks for the 'alpha male' thing. I appreciate it, sarcasm or not... Now I can dub you beta male. Oh I forgot that's already been done long ago.

-sean-

Sean, you have contributed very little in the way of positive things. You constantly attack other males and put them down. You are trying to paint the picture that all males are sinners (bar you of course) and all females are saints (bar the ones you fell out with). It is evident by your posts on this forum and others - hence the reason you were banned from those forums too. I banned you for a good reason - your constant hatred of neurotypicals and other males on this forum - you shouldn't have created a second account. 142857 is not attacking you like you claim. He is merely retaliating to YOUR attacks on him.

Also I'm amused that you find the need to constantly refer to private conversations you have had with other female members. Are you trying to make us jealous or something? What is the actual point? Other females have noted this behavior too on different AS forums. No one cares if you sent a PM to a female member whether here, on Youtube or any other AS forum where you seem to constantly note/brag about it. Remember, it's not just me that finds this behavior odd - other females think it's creepy you constantly post out in public that you PM'ed a female member. When you send a PM, that person will be notified so there's no reason to tell them publicly that you sent them a PM. On another note, I have observed that you always refer to a female member by her real first name instead of using her username (excluding were a first name is also a username). You don't seem to call any male members by their real names. So yes, your behavior is rather odd as noted by me and others.