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Post-Valentines fallout

Spiller

Spiller

Just.. WEIRD!
So, Valentines is past..
..What happens to undelivered cards, choccies, presents? :(
Various hitches on both sides prevented delivery to my 'interest' the day before (I actually waited for 2.5 hours outside her house as she was out.. until I felt a distinct and undeniable lurking/stalking feeling (I don't think the binoculars helped).. at which point I decided a swift retreat was in order :eek:), on the day (she was busy), or the day after (she was unwell)..
Seems a bit odd to give the whole kaboodle to her next weekend. :confused:
So do I just give her the prezzie, the prezzie and the choccies (I'm not sure that feels right either), prezzie, choccies (and card?) plus (hopefully) a humorous explanation?
Does the guilt trip never end?? Will my Valentines day catastrophe sit on the back seat of my car for eternity, haunting me with it's increasingly accusatory glare? (Yes, I find that a mere shiny red gift bag can.. if not actually glare, then at least, have an accusatory air about it that's already twice as bad as it was yesterday! :eek: )
Should I just torch the whole car and run away, join the Foreign Legion and try to put this whole sorry episode out of my mind? :oops:
 
This is the luckiest lady to have the attentions of such a strong, sweet-natured, sensitive man. Your courage inspires me, Spiller.

Valentine's Day was just yesterday, so you have a nice window in which to approach her now with the goodies (you) and the nice gifts. Why not treat her to a visit with you, so she can enjoy spending time in your presence? No gift could be greater.

I would send you well-wishes of strength and courage, but you clearly have more than plenty. I'll be sending you good thoughts for a sense of peace and calm about whatever you decide to do. She is such a lucky lady.
 
Grumpy Cat said:
What's with the binoculars?
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I didn't have a telephoto lense.. just kidding :p The binoculars were a joke too.. my Aspie attempt at humour, sorry Angie :rolleyes:
I'd planned on hiding the bag under her car, as she walks 5 minutes to work every day, then texting her so she could find it.. but when I drove the 30 miles there, the car was gone and she lives in a 3rd floor flat with a security door so I couldn't leave it outside.
So I hung around hoping she'd turn up and I could nip it under there when she went in.. until hanging felt more like lurking, then stalking (hence the binoculars joke).. and I got uncomfortable and paranoid and had to leave :(
What could go wrong, did! Thanks Ashe :p Warmheart, thank you for the lovely words :)
Yes I know her, I'm not really a stalker :D, we've been.. er, 'friends with interest' (I think) for a couple months and known each other a year or so.. it may go somewhere, who knows..
 
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How very sweet Spiller! I agree with Warmheart that the 'window of opportunity' still exists, & even next weekend is not too late to deliver your surprises. Give her all or any part of the original "kit & kaboodle" :) based on what feels right to you without worrying that Valentine's Day has expired. She is a lucky lady to be so appreciated whether you two remain just friends or move things further into the romance arena.

Yes, please don't torch your car & join the Foreign Legion! :P Your excellent sense of humor would be missed too greatly here! :D
 
Spiller said:
I didn't have a telephoto lense.. just kidding :p The binoculars were a joke too.. my Aspie attempt at humour, sorry Angie :rolleyes:
I'd planned on hiding the bag under her car, as she walks 5 minutes to work every day, then texting her so she could find it.. but when I drove the 30 miles there, the car was gone and she lives in a 3rd floor flat with a security door so I couldn't leave it outside.
So I hung around hoping she'd turn up and I could nip it under there when she went in.. until hanging felt more like lurking, then stalking (hence the binoculars joke).. and I got uncomfortable and paranoid and had to leave :(
What could go wrong, did! Thanks Ashe :p Warmheart, thank you for the lovely words :)
Yes I know her, I'm not really a stalker :D, we've been.. er, 'friends with interest' (I think) for a couple months and known each other a year or so.. it may go somewhere, who knows..
Click to expand...

Might be rather charming to simply tell her exactly what you intended to do. Even if it didn't work the first time. After all, it's the thought that counts. ;)
 
Judge said:
Might be rather charming to simply tell her exactly what you intended to do. Even if it didn't work the first time. After all, it's the thought that counts. ;)
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Thanks Judge, I wondered about that myself, it sounds funny to me :D.. in a 'Drat! Plans-foiled-again' kind of way :oops:
I do find that things I say can be too typically-Aspie honest sometimes though.. I didn't want to come across as following her around :rolleyes:..

Me: Where was your car on friday?
Her: Why?
Me: Cos I was lurking outside your house, spying, for half the day..
Her :eek:

Could go better.. I've already got Angie thinking the worst :p
 
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Spiller said:
Thanks Judge, I wondered about that myself, it sounds funny to me :D.. in a 'Drat! Plans-foiled-again' kind of way :oops:
I do find that things I say can be too typically-Aspie honest sometimes though.. I didn't want to come across as following her around :rolleyes:..

Me: Where was your car on friday?
Her: Why?
Me: Cos I was lurking outside your house, spying, for half the day..
Her :eek:

Could go better.. I've already got Angie thinking the worst :p
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LOL....well, no. You want to tell your story in such a way as not to appear as a stalker. Yet you also want to try and be clever and careful in determining why she wasn't there at the time. Not to create a real buzzkill here, but you don't want to tell her your story if she was being entertained by someone else that day for similar reasons.

I was once caught in a case of such "bad timing". It was emotionally devastating for me. No joke.
 
Tell her the story, especially about the package "glaring" in the back seat and torching the car to run away and join the Foreign Legion. And give her the stuff...If she's really worth it and interested, she'll find it hilarious--all that hyperbole is a great "backhanded" compliment, a way to say, "see how much you matter? I start blithering around you."

If she's really worth it and is still in the "friends" stage, she'll have to tell you that, and your humor will help you both in that scenario.

Good luck, and laughter, to both of you!
 
Thank you Judge and Aspergirl (very accurate actually, I do blither around her :D it's really weird :confused:) for your advice.. in fact you've all given me much to mull over and much to be encouraged by in my own clumsy attempts to 'woo the girl' :)
They should teach useful stuff like this in school.. oh, ah wait, they already do.. it's called 'Socialising' :rolleyes:
Well, they should at least teach 'Chat' as I'm really rubbish at it :(
In truth, I'm not holding my breath on this (nyaaa.. maybe just a little bit..) and I've decided I'm not going to over-think it (that hurts) or hold 'Together-Forever' - style expectations (they can get obsessive and, ultimately, really painful).. I'll let this go at it's own pace and see what transpires..
Watch this space folks :)
..And feel free to throw in your own VA (Valentines Apocolypse) stories guys..
 
Oooh, you actually do blither? *swooooon THUD* Some of us find this especially endearing. I say, work it! :)

I am cheering you on, partly because I want you to be happy, but also because I can imagine that she would be delighted for the honor to get to know you better. For now, I send you calming peace vibes. :herb:
 
Grumpy Cat here. Spiller, don't even ask where she was because it makes it seem that it was her fault she wasn't there to receive your stuff - stuff she didn't even know she was getting in the first place. I wouldn't like someone asking me that and I would probably say "if my car wasn't there then that means I was gone."

Also, imo, if you give her too many Valentine's things you may overload her if she has no idea of how you are feeling in the first place and the thought could backfire. One item would be sufficient - and you could tell her "I came by the other day and you weren't home, but I wanted to give you this for Valentine's Day." You'll want to do it soon (like this week) otherwise it will lose its affect. Make it a small gift so you can see how she handles that first. Too many items could be overkill. And absolutely no binoculars. :rolleyes: Or stakeouts. :D
 
Hey Angie, thank you, I absolutely agree, where she was is none of my business and I wouldn't dream of prying.. I'd only planned to give her a token, no big romantic thing (quite yet ;)), just something friendly, to make her smile :) ..It's been a long time for us both and I don't want to rush her.. or me..
Hey.. If I get her binoculars next time, we can stalk people together :p
Thank you, Warmheart, for the calming vibes.. those I can really use; it seems blithering is suddenly my specialist subject, as well as tripping over my own feet, walking into things and knocking stuff over.. :rolleyes:
 
Spiller said:
Hey Angie, thank you, I absolutely agree, where she was is none of my business and I wouldn't dream of prying.. I'd only planned to give her a token, no big romantic thing (quite yet ;)), just something friendly, to make her smile :) ..It's been a long time for us both and I don't want to rush her.. or me..
Hey.. If I get her binoculars next time, we can stalk people together :p
Thank you, Warmheart, for the calming vibes.. those I can really use; it seems blithering is suddenly my specialist subject, as well as tripping over my own feet, walking into things and knocking stuff over.. :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

Ah, see, there's an experience we have in common with NTs...those symptoms might be the only time an allistic mind experiences the day-to-day walking-into-walls clumsiness I've got!
 
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