(If you just read the bold sections, you'll get the idea.)
(A lot of the advice I've recieved on how to improve my interactions relates to better understanding the person/people with whom I am interacting, so here I'll try to do that.)
Carla (Landlord)
Wants:
I think that her desire is to be seen as a paragon of good. She's getting older and I think the idea of "leaving a legacy" might be on her mind.
What else do I know about the landlord that could help me understand her?
Weaknesses:
ummm...sanity?
Sometimes her decisions seem patently insane, and I think there's a chance that her mind is going/alzheimers.
She won't resolve the mold issues (easily resolvable atm) but she'll spend hours putting up paper decorations in the halls we don't need and don't want (but consider it work).
Tendency to blindly give bullies power and be satisfied with that.
She lets the Felon-bully rule as she did her belligerant assistant because it was expedient (she doesn't have to bully others to clean up after other renters, the bullies genuinely enjoy finding someone and getting them to do that).
Choosing what is Easy over what is reasonable.
She triangulates ordering the responsible people to serve the irresponsible even more than we already do (again easiness over reason).
Incompetance
I think that she struggles substantially with either executive function or competance, but doesn't have wherewithall to notice that or try to solve it or she doesn't care that it has wrecked my life already.
But she also works long hours because she's inefficient. Nonetheless she will easily say "no" and abandon things most days if she feels like she's ready to go home.
(She also for some reason strings people along having them wait all day everyday for something for months. I don't really think she has the foresight for this to be intentional or she wouldn't likely be so disorganized. She may enjoy that she feels that people are competing for her attention (does she like the drama?).She's certainly comfortable telling people "no" to prior promises, so I don't think it's strictly aversion to friction/conflict avoidance. She never seems remoreseful for doing it though.)
How do I get her to stop mutilating my life by stringing me along like this? Proposing a specific day to block off? But that hasn't worked and if I'm not there my things will go missing one way or another.
She is quite the micromanager. She is controlling and will do things she shouldn't in ways that are disempowering and a little creepy. (Like throwing out my bread because "carbs aren't healthy"....ummm okay but I'm below the poverty line atm don't take away my resources. I'm not diabetic and if anything I should maybe eat a bit more.)
What else...?
Smoothing Things Over: I think if I ever have to smooth things over, I would be wise to appeal to flattery of her personality.
(A lot of the advice I've recieved on how to improve my interactions relates to better understanding the person/people with whom I am interacting, so here I'll try to do that.)
Carla (Landlord)
Wants:
I think that her desire is to be seen as a paragon of good. She's getting older and I think the idea of "leaving a legacy" might be on her mind.
What else do I know about the landlord that could help me understand her?
Weaknesses:
ummm...sanity?
Sometimes her decisions seem patently insane, and I think there's a chance that her mind is going/alzheimers.
She won't resolve the mold issues (easily resolvable atm) but she'll spend hours putting up paper decorations in the halls we don't need and don't want (but consider it work).
Tendency to blindly give bullies power and be satisfied with that.
She lets the Felon-bully rule as she did her belligerant assistant because it was expedient (she doesn't have to bully others to clean up after other renters, the bullies genuinely enjoy finding someone and getting them to do that).
Choosing what is Easy over what is reasonable.
She triangulates ordering the responsible people to serve the irresponsible even more than we already do (again easiness over reason).
Incompetance
I think that she struggles substantially with either executive function or competance, but doesn't have wherewithall to notice that or try to solve it or she doesn't care that it has wrecked my life already.
But she also works long hours because she's inefficient. Nonetheless she will easily say "no" and abandon things most days if she feels like she's ready to go home.
(She also for some reason strings people along having them wait all day everyday for something for months. I don't really think she has the foresight for this to be intentional or she wouldn't likely be so disorganized. She may enjoy that she feels that people are competing for her attention (does she like the drama?).She's certainly comfortable telling people "no" to prior promises, so I don't think it's strictly aversion to friction/conflict avoidance. She never seems remoreseful for doing it though.)
How do I get her to stop mutilating my life by stringing me along like this? Proposing a specific day to block off? But that hasn't worked and if I'm not there my things will go missing one way or another.
She is quite the micromanager. She is controlling and will do things she shouldn't in ways that are disempowering and a little creepy. (Like throwing out my bread because "carbs aren't healthy"....ummm okay but I'm below the poverty line atm don't take away my resources. I'm not diabetic and if anything I should maybe eat a bit more.)
What else...?
Smoothing Things Over: I think if I ever have to smooth things over, I would be wise to appeal to flattery of her personality.
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