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People's lack of support since diagnosis

C

corrinnemcmahon

Well-Known Member
One thing I have noticed since bing diagnosed, people aren't very compassionate or understanding when it comes to my Aspergers. Kinda sad that some of those people are family. Even my doctor is a bit of a dick about it. Love me or leave me alone!
 
Corrinne, it's frustrating to feel misunderstood. Many of us can really relate! It's extra hard when it's family, too. Have you found a good way to ask for accommodations if/when you need them?
 
I'm really sorry that there isn't much support from your family,I haven't told many in my family about myself due to knowing that they wouldn't understand,I hope you can find some support here since I think you will find others that have got a very similar situation too.
 
corrinnemcmahon said:
One thing I have noticed since bing diagnosed, people aren't very compassionate or understanding when it comes to my Aspergers. Kinda sad that some of those people are family. Even my doctor is a bit of a dick about it. Love me or leave me alone!
Click to expand...

You ever get the feeling that since your diagnosis, people have gone out of their way to trample on your feelings, they treat you as if you are no longer a human being?
 
corrinnemcmahon said:
One thing I have noticed since bing diagnosed, people aren't very compassionate or understanding when it comes to my Aspergers. Kinda sad that some of those people are family. Even my doctor is a bit of a dick about it. Love me or leave me alone!
Click to expand...
When I told a friend I had been diagnosed with aspergers he said he was sorry! I told him that it wasn't terminal cancer and more a way of 'being' in the world. You don't need compassion, but you do need understanding from the people nearest to you. Go easy on them it's a learning curve for them and you, take it from me that it's best to become what you are and not live in denial to please NT's.
 
After my recent diagnosis with ASD at age 66 I found varying reactions. One of my daughters said "No, Mom! i just want you the way you have always been!" I told her I had it all my life so no problem there. Only the diagnosis is new, not the autism. I think a lot of people, family included, go into denial because they don't want to accept the diagnosis, mostly becaus they don't understand. No surprise since even many Aspies were locked up in the past as though it was a mental illness. That way of thinking prevails in the uninformed. I am trying to gently educate those affected by my diagnosis. One daughter even felt like I could no longer babysit the grandkids because I have autism. I explained that I am still the same person and sent her a few links to read about high functioning autism/Asperger's. My grandson kept begging to come visist and it was just a short while before they allowed him to come. Now she has arranged for me to watch the baby as well as the two year old when she has some medical tests come up. I have noticed that neurotypical people often associate autism either with retardation or mental illness. And in reality, I am retarded in some areas, but gifted in others. The only difference between before and after diagnosis is that now we know why I am what I am.
 
I've only told the people in my family who won't be dicks about it. There are certain family members who would use it as further ammunition or say I'm just grasping for excuses again. I spend as little time as possible with those people, even if they are family.
It hurts sometimes though.
 
I experienced some denial issues from my parents, but then I have never really gotten along with them. Being adopted and aspie. My Dx didn't come till I was almost 41 and I think my father, who worked in the psyh field and is well known localy, didn't want to accept that he missed his only son being on the spectrum. There is still some friction between us when that topic comes up in conversation. Its like he thinks its all BS and not true. I try to not bring it up in conversation when the family gets together. Mike
 
corrinnemcmahon said:
One thing I have noticed since bing diagnosed, people aren't very compassionate or understanding when it comes to my Aspergers. Kinda sad that some of those people are family. Even my doctor is a bit of a dick about it. Love me or leave me alone!
Click to expand...
Corrinne, an AS diagnosis can be tough, ((( HUG ))),on both you and your family. Unfortunately, some people try to "deal with it" like they would a scary spider in the corner - ignore it, and hope it goes away. This never works. Education is the best thing, both for the aspie, and the family.

I was reading somewhere that Aspergers is known as one of the most "hated and misunderstood" of all "disorders". I think this attitude is often exacerbated by negative media portrayal. Getting past negative stereotyping is often a first hurdle for us :rolleyes:
 
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