Passivity Moves

[Poppy98]

Passivity moves


-over-apologizing (for blunders/nonblunders not misconduct)
-low posture
-(something about eye contact)
-always doing the gruntwork
-turning the other cheek?
-doing anything outside of the social norm (typically)
-a lack of confidence
-waiting for permission for what you could do yourself
-letting people take what is yours without your invitation
-doing what non-bosses say when they would not do the same
-doing over a certain amount of labor to do a favor (ex going to a different room to get a pen when they already had a pen and were doing nothing but they would not to the same for you)
-being too cautious about inconveniencing people

 

[Matthias]

These passivity modes can be just as annoying as the dominant/aggressive moves you mentioned earlier. A big one that annoys me is someone getting upset (often due to a misunderstanding) and keeping it to themselves. This often means I have no idea they misunderstood something I said and I don't have an opportunity to immediately correct it. Because of that, I have to waste my time trying to figure out why they are treating me differently or acting strangely around me. For example, I might engage in some friendly teasing to help someone feel more socially connected. The passive person misinterprets it as bullying and feels like a victim but doesn't say anything about it, just starts avoiding me more often or makes excuses when I ask for help with something. I try to avoid passive people whenever possible. It's too much unnecessary work dealing with them.