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Open-mindedness, diversity, and Asperger's

pelecanus87

Well-Known Member
In a society that increasingly professes to be about "diversity" and "understanding" and mingling with people unlike ourselves, I've noticed that, as a person with Asperger's, most people are STILL very quick to notice differences and will shun you for being unlike them. The difference between the rhetoric I hear and my experiences is particularly frustrating.

Compared with some other groups, there is relatively little social pressure to "understand" or mingle with people on the autism spectrum. Granted, autistic people aren't always immediately identifiable, but if people want to profess how open-minded they are, they should be giving others the benefit of the doubt regardless.

Many people are interested in having a "diverse" set of friends when it comes to race, religion, age, class, culture/sub-culture etc. But such people seem to generally have no interest in increasing the diversity of their social circle by including autistic people.

Does anyone understand this or share the frustrations?
 
i only mix with the neurologically different [intellectually disabled, autistic, mentally ill] because theyve suffered in their life in some form [not because of the condition but the suffering caused by lack of support,abuse,bullying,not being included in society etc] and through suffering you have a open mind for other peoples pain and life experiences.
normal people dont mix with me as im very different to both normies and aspies,but i dont mind as ive had such bad experiences with them that i dont want to be near them i am scared of them.

i think it will take al ong time before people with neurological differences will be accepted in social groups because it takes a lot of sympathy and life experience to relate to differences,someone whose got no life experience and has never experienced the uniqueness of the human world will be fearful of change and difference.

i think your best off mixing with similar people who will relate to you, i go to a social club for people with intellectual disability once every two weeks and theres a normie volunteer there who hates me for some reason-stares at me constantly, ignores me when i say hello and turns around to look at me like ive done something wrong,so i just say screw it-im not letting that prick make my life a misery with super anxiety wondering why she behaving like that and wondering what ive done wrong.
 
You are correct. Here in the U.S. people are only concerned about diversity when it fits their political agenda.
 
My logic towards this is that people who want diversity for their own appearances sake are all idiots, and I never want to have anything to do with idiots. In reality, they aren't accepting diversity, they are just pretending to.
 
It's the unfortunate reality of human nature. People who seem a little "off" will always have a much harder time no matter how progressive society claims to be. I've given up on trying to fit in.
 
5 years ago I failed my application to South Yorkshire Police Special Constabulary because my answers to the diversity questions were too short.

Don't get me wrong I respect all races and religions, 30 odd years ago at Junior school one of my best friends was an Asian girl called Hyatt.

Only time I was ever racist to anybody was when I was about 5 there was a black girl in my class at school, at the time I'd never seen or met anyone who wasn't white, so I called her "chocolate legs" because I didn't know I was being racist, she called me "The Milky Bar kid" back, it was just a bit of friendly non offensive banter, this was way back in the early 80s, being PC wasn't as much of a "thing" in those days.
 
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Many people are interested in having a "diverse" set of friends when it comes to race, religion, age, class, culture/sub-culture etc. But such people seem to generally have no interest in increasing the diversity of their social circle by including autistic people.

Does anyone understand this or share the frustrations?

Hypocrisy abounds with humanity.

Especially where there is an undercurrent of belief that "different" neurologically speaking translates into "deficient".

A dynamic fueled largely by just plain ignorance. Where our intellects are so easily overlooked because we interact with others somewhat differently.
 
I believe that "most people" are social animals. This is not unusual in the animal world. They seem to feel a need to associate with others who are like them, akin to a "herding instinct". Many of them do not seem to tolerate people who are different. Many of them see different as a very bad thing. The "group" is everything, you have to do and like things that the "group" does. Of course, we are all different and there are individuals out there.

Most of us on the spectrum seem to be more individualist. Being part of the team is not all consuming. At times it can be OK, but we can take it or leave it. After all, working alone is a good thing, Right? However, "most people" just do not understand this mind set and see it as different. Or a very bad thing. Not one of the "group". Not normal. Something that should be avoided.

I think that this is just one of the differences between "most people" and those of us on the spectrum, but one that show cases our differences.
 
I believe that "most people" are social animals. This is not unusual in the animal world. They seem to feel a need to associate with others who are like them, akin to a "herding instinct". Many of them do not seem to tolerate people who are different. Many of them see different as a very bad thing. The "group" is everything, you have to do and like things that the "group" does. Of course, we are all different and there are individuals out there.

Most of us on the spectrum seem to be more individualist. Being part of the team is not all consuming. At times it can be OK, but we can take it or leave it. After all, working alone is a good thing, Right? However, "most people" just do not understand this mind set and see it as different. Or a very bad thing. Not one of the "group". Not normal. Something that should be avoided.

I think that this is just one of the differences between "most people" and those of us on the spectrum, but one that show cases our differences.
I find that I'm happy to include others until it actually becomes a significant burden to me. I'm more comfortable around people like myself, but I'm open to people who are different and would prefer to get along. I think that's a very functional approach. In my experience, most people just don't see things that way, no matter what happy stories they'd like to believe.

A big part of having Asperger's is to learn how quickly many people are to pick up on differences and reject you because of those differences.
 
I despise the terms "open mind" and "closed mind", for one main reason: folks rarely ever tell you what you're supposed to be open or closed to, and why. The whole thing is too vague. and I'm someone who works best with the most details.
 
Sadly, I'm not even saying that people should or shouldn't make it a point to constantly mingle with people unlike themselves.

It's just the hypocrisy of it all. The contradiction between people's pronouncements and their actual actions.

It pisses me off how people think they're so open-minded and tolerant for having some "diverse" friends, but these same people will be very cruel to those who seem slightly "off" in their social skills.

What criteria for "open-mindedness" and "tolerance" are they going by??? Does there have to be large-scale social pressure on them to accept a certain group of "others" for them to even consider their humanity???

Again, I think Aspies have a unique insight into this particular hypocrisy.
 

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