Older women

[Ronald Zeeman]

My only concern is shrinking population. Already have my grandaughter will she be joined by a sibling mother turns 40 in a few months she want a second he hedging.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

My wifes best friend lost her husband last year, she is now 60, hoping here current relationship works obvious he is one of us Masking heavily. She cannot handle living alone.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

l have met plenty of older women who are thrilled being alone, they realize that having freedom means your ability to do what you wish to do. While many older men are looking for domestic slaves to do laundry, cooking, personal errands with little to no enjoyment. Sorry, l totally disagree with the above video, l believe it's purely a male view.

I guess I didn't see that perspective. Personally, I am an "older man", but my wife and I both had careers and raised kids, so there was not this dynamic where anyone was a "domestic slave", as we both had to simply pick up the load when one or the other was at work. Now, granted, there was some bias in the separation of duties, as I did more the outdoor, automotive, and home maintenance (plumbing, electrical, construction, etc.) and she did more the meal planning, laundry, social planning, etc. We shared a lot of duties simply because we had to.

There may be plenty of older women who are thrilled being alone, the same for older men, but my biased thinking suggests some or many of these older individuals have already experienced bad relationships, perhaps raised children, perhaps divorced.

What the video above suggests is the importance...as human beings...to procreate much earlier in life when we are physically best suited to do this. Time does not stop for us. Delays often lead to missed opportunities. I quite literally deal with the consequences of this at work each day in the neonatal unit. Once a woman is reaching her mid-30's, it becomes increasingly more difficult to conceive, increasingly more difficult to carry a pregnancy to term, and it is physically more stressful on the woman and can significantly increase the risks of life-threatening, pregnancy-related conditions...and from my perspective, many babies die, suffer, and end up with life-long health issues. So, I am looking at this video from a biological and healthcare perspective.

With that in mind, I am very concerned about this new norm of getting a 4-6 year higher educational degree, establishing oneself in a good career, then looking for a partner, and then...maybe...deciding upon whether to have children or not. I totally understand the woman's perspective...it would be the same for myself...BUT being a male, I am not responsible for bringing new life into this world. Only a female can do that...and when they choose not to...or have delayed to the point where they can't...this sort of mentality effects us all, as a species. It no longer becomes a personal thing if the numbers are there to create our own extinction...which the statistics are suggesting could happen within a handful of generations IF we continue along this path.

I think both men and women have become an unwitting victim of this mentality that raising a family is what one does when one is mentally and financially ready. The reality is that having children is a thing that one does when one is physically ready...and being mentally and financially ready has nothing to do with it. It's an entirely different mindset.

 

[Aspychata]

Yes, l do understand that point, but the added economics of raising one or two children, and that plus many younger women are chosing not to raise children due to the throw away attitude of your wife when she is no longer in the young age demographic, and now they have chosen not to have children and not get married. They have decided to be selfish, and l truly don't blame them. They also hear or read of the horrible divorces of their parents, and friends, at that in does fluence their life choices.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Yes, l do understand that point, but the added economics of raising one or two children, and that plus many younger women are chosing not to raise children due to the throw away attitude of your wife when she is no longer in the young age demographic, and now they have chosen not to have children and not get married. They have decided to be selfish, and l truly don't blame them. They also hear or read of the horrible divorces of their parents, and friends, at that in does fluence their life choices.

True and true.

There is a LOT of blame to throw around here, but I am wondering...perhaps...that the inevitable challenges and hardships of raising a family are being presented as a burden instead of being respected and applauded. It IS a mental and financial strain on a family, no doubt, but what my parents, my grandparents, and my wife and I found out, is that with each new child, you just adjust and get used to that new norm...whatever that is. We didn't have 2 nickels to rub together when we had kids at home. We had to go without...constantly...as were our parents, and their parents, and so on.

I do put some blame on those specific men that put in a hard days work and then come home and want to vegetate. I get it. The body and brain are trashed. The house is a sanctuary...or at least it should be...but when you have children in the house, it just isn't. Choosing to not help out around the house, maybe because you sort of bullied your wife into submission so she has no choice in doing all the work around the home, maybe because the woman is an enabler allowing it to happen...whatever the situation, this is not acceptable. Probably should have been part of those marriage vows...but never made it in there. It is called responsibility, respect, and accountability. It is called self-discipline...your feelings don't matter...just like going to work and providing. The home, wife, and family are just an extension of that. It's about US, not the individual.

Again, hindsight being 20/20, the family dynamic should be put up high on a pedestal, rewarded, and respected. Unfortunately, it gets portrayed in a negative light...and it will be the end of us as a species unless we change our society's attitudes quickly.

 

[Masked Man]

What they mean by population shrinkage is white westerners. There's population growth in several countries of Africa. If the US is so worried about having people to work, we can open up immigration. But we're not going to do that, are we?

Look if you want women to have children the US we are going to have it more feasible for them. Universal healthcare, free (or reduced) schooling, free (or reduced) childcare, longer maternity/paternity leaves, etc. As long as every single thing is monetized and it takes two incomes to survive, why on earth would any woman want to take on the risk of childbirth and childcare??? Not to mention, government taking away the right to abortion services when childbirth is so risky. No wonder so many of them are opting out. Who can blame them??

 

[Neonatal RRT]

What they mean by population shrinkage is white westerners. There's population growth in several countries of Africa. If the US is so worried about having people to work, we can open up immigration. But we're not going to do that, are we?

Look if you want women to have children the US we are going to have it more feasible for them. Universal healthcare, free (or reduced) schooling, free (or reduced) childcare, longer maternity/paternity leaves, etc. As long as every single thing is monetized and it takes two incomes to survive, why on earth would any woman want to take on the risk of childbirth and childcare??? Not to mention, government taking away the right to abortion services when childbirth is so risky. No wonder so many of them are opting out. Who can blame them??

Actually, some of the most affected by population collapse is China and Japan...currently. The US, Europe, and UK won't experience this for another generation, or so...but the train has left the station, so to speak. We must separate birth rates from population trends.

I had to do an inquiry on Africa: This discussion is more nuanced.

AI Overview

In Africa, the birth rate is decreasing overall, but the population is still increasing due to high fertility rates in some regions and a growing population entering their childbearing years. While the birth rate has been declining for decades, Africa still has the highest fertility rate globally. This combination of declining birth rates and high fertility rates results in a population that is growing, but at a slower pace than in the past.

Here's a more detailed breakdown:

• Birth Rate:
  .
  The birth rate in Africa has been decreasing for several decades, with a notable drop from an average of 6.6 children per woman in 1980 to 4.5 in 2017. In 2023, the birth rate was approximately 32.6 births per 1,000 people, according to African Leadership Magazine.
  
  
• Population Growth:
  .
  Despite the declining birth rate, Africa's population is still growing rapidly. This is primarily due to high fertility rates in certain regions, particularly sub-Saharan Africa, and a large number of people entering their reproductive years.
  
  
• Demographic Momentum:
  .
  A significant portion of the population in sub-Saharan Africa is young, which means a large number of people will be entering their childbearing years, contributing to population growth even if fertility rates continue to decline.
  
  
• UN Projections:
  .
  The United Nations predicts that Africa's population will reach 2.5 billion by 2050. This growth is expected to be concentrated in sub-Saharan Africa.
  

In essence, while the birth rate is decreasing, the sheer number of people entering their reproductive age, combined with ongoing high fertility rates in certain areas, is causing the overall population to continue its upward trajectory.

 

[Masked Man]

In essence, while the birth rate is decreasing, the sheer number of people entering their reproductive age, combined with ongoing high fertility rates in certain areas, is causing the overall population to continue its upward trajectory.

Exactly. So... if you want women to have more babies, ASK them why they are hesitant. Then consider their concerns. Like seriously consider them. I mean this is what a functioning government should be doing.

To be honest here, I am not in favor of having my own kids, and I don't blame anyone one bit for not being willing to do it either. And I'm not even the one who would be risking my literal life lol.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I like discusing this with my wife current paradigm, is for guys get education start career get married build career.
Does not really work for women My wife got her education after kid in school company paid for got to top of her pay scale. My sister got her undergraduate degree worked as geologist got pregnant so her and boy friend left field He got his masters, married two more kids Then she went back to school got her masters took time to raise kids then landed high profile position, both her and husband got promotions both managers. Fitting kids in not easy. A new paradigm that better suits the women is needed.

 

[Masked Man]

Anyway... I don't know how we got started on this topic. The OP had posted about the woman he knows who has (possibly) shown interest in him but he doesn't know what to do apparently. Let's not go too far off topic.

So OP - have you talked to her yet? Just ask her out for a drink/coffee/etc? What's stopping you?

 

[Aspychata]

Also, just a quick note, many women are choosing to have a child without a partner, or instead opting for a female partner.

 

[Wolfiedog]

Yes.
9 - 10 years.
They like your maturity in most logical matters and find your immaturity as boyish charm.
And she’s much more forgiving when she finds out you don’t grow out of it.

 

[Jonn]

Would anyone agree that older women would be terrific romantic partners for young autistic men? This has been on my mind lately.

I can't see why not.

 

[Jonn]

It would really depend on what you mean by "older" and "young man" and who the two people are that are trying to have a partnership. Probably will have more luck if you look to whether or not two people are compatible all around than just their age.

This was specifically an age-based question.
Some people are intimidated by an age gap.
Societal pressure may still be a consideration, denying the possible first step.

Most relationships are a continuum, beginning with a vague understanding of the other person and progressively unfurling greater depth.
Ignore the age gap, ignore any societal prejudice, take that first step and explore how things develop, is my advice.