Oh, were you talking to me?

[Johnny]

In the U.S. Navy they have this thing going on where any announcement over the public address system goes like,

"Now hear this. Now hear this. [content of the announcement] Repeat. [content of the announcement again.] That is all."

Actually, if you start talking, your opponent should interpret your voice saying their name, as a cue to start listening, but sometimes it is just easier to be lazy and keep on reading, and then offer the excuse that they didn't know you were talking, presumably because the book they were reading was making so much noise.

This issue needs to be dealt with. There are actually strict and clear laws in place for the common situation where a person does not want to be told something and wants the excuse that nobody told them to be in court. Typically, you are informed that it is a subpoena, or summons and if you do not take it, they drop it on the ground near your feet. They do not force you to read it, but you have been served.

However, in social circles, you need to agree on a protocol.

Firstname.

[No response.]

Earth to Firstname, Earth to Firstname, Firstname, please respond.

If Firstname is too overloaded or too busy to deal with you, a simple STOP! gesture will do unless you announce that it is an emergency. If they accuse you of rudeness what would be preferable, explaining the entire story and then asking the question, only to have the pothole reply, "Huh? What? Were you talking to me?"

Just say it, though, without screaming it.

If you drove somebody to a party and you are instructed by the host(ess) to leave the premises, you have a duty to inform your passenger, who depends on you for a ride, but if the passenger is tunnel-vision gabbing and refuses to shut up and listen, you cannot stop and wait until they are good and ready to finish the conversation, because you are under a legal order to leave at once. Shout it out as you walk by and wait in your car. If they don't come out, drive away without them. (Never mind why you were instructed to leave. They don't even need a reason because they own the house.)

 

[Spinning Compass]

Wow! You do seem to have a lot of rules that everyone else is expected to live by. I don't know you, but--and I am not saying this to be mean--you come across as rather rude and arrogant, not even willing to give others a chance. I am going to assume that it is because you are rather young and not a half-century old like me.

I don't know if you've seen the movie "Polar Express" but there is a character in the story who is told that what he needs to do is learn humility. Now I can say this because at one time I needed to learn humility. Until I did, I was very lonely. People tried to talk to me but I just pushed them away. Because, you see, they were all idiots and I knew it all. It might be that people aren't listening to you because they are turned off. Again, I know about this all too well because I did more than my fair share of turning people off. In my defense, I can only plead ignorance and not malice.

People are not perfect. They can and do mess up. I still have my share of social troubles. But I have also learned that I too am not perfect and that the way I judge others might be the way they are judging me. You have to be the kind of person people WANT to deal with. Quite frankly, if I were at a party or whatever, and you spoke to me the way you are speaking here, I would turn my back.

I am taking the time to write this, knowing full well that you will probably lash out at me and call me all kinds of names because you are not ready to receive the wisdom I have to share. I would sincerely like to see you not make the mistakes I did and waste half your life the way I did, but I am afraid that won't happen overnight. I see someone who is lashing out at the world because they are lonely and frightened and can't let anyone know that they are vulnerable. Most unpleasant people are, deep down inside. It takes a lot of courage to drop the mask and be vulnerable because there is risk in it. What I am hoping is somewhere, somehow, I have planted a seed here that will eventually grow.