No friends

[Butterfly88]

I just want a friend, is that so much to ask. Its so hard to meet people as restaurants and many other places are too loud for me to handle. Most of the clubs at my college have loud events. Is anyone else like this? Any tips?

 

[cha]

I went to community college for two years and never made 1 friend. I went to college last year and never made one friend. I'm going to college this year and haven't met one friend. If you have any special interests I would balance your time between school and that and see if you can meet people within your special interests. What do you like to do?

 

[wyverary]

There is no single answer to this question. My closest friends were pretty much happenstance...in fact, the person I would consider myself closest to, I met online, and we've even developed a queerplatonic relationship. My two other best friends, well, one was a former high school classmate whom I got close to well after we'd both graduated and had a number of failures in our lives; the other was, again, forged through such a connection when she was dating, again, an old classmate of mine, with whom I reconnected well after school. I guess it's a matter of luck, being "in the right place at the right time"...I can safely say that I don't think I've met ANY friend at a crowded place like a restaurant, concert, or anything like that...those connections may work well, but they are temporary and only last the duration of whatever event may be going on...I never exchange phone numbers.

There is hope, but it's also partly a matter of luck. I wish you the best.

wyv

 

[Merahj]

I haven't met anyone at a crowded place either. I met my best friend online and we ended up meeting in real life and going from there. However, there are still hurdles to leap through. She has a problem understanding why i do not initiate communication. Friends will happen at the most unexpected moments.

 

[Cinnamon115]

I have the same problem. I found a sewing club on my campus and I've started going to meetings there. It's quiet and there's not a lot of people. Maybe there's a small club for something you like that you can join.

 

[Naturalist]

I had the same difficulty in college. I finally made two friends, because we were in the same art history class and they sat behind me but one day after class I heard them talking about meeting that night to watch a really obscure film series which at the time was one of my special interests... So I whirled around and introduced myself, along with "I didn't know ANYONE here even knew about that!" One of the two girls has remained my friend in the 12 years since. The other one lost touch after she moved away.

That was pure luck though. Which does not help you much.

I can say that many of the students I now work with come into my department as interns, and many of them are socially very isolated, due to things like temperament, not speaking English well, etc. But they sign up because they are interested in scientific collections, natural history, and archaeology (nerdy things!), and they meet others who have the same interests. I am happy that the program I started is often the reason that the students who used to be alone all the time, now are seen at meals or between classes hanging out with other interns. My boss has commented on that fact to me many times!

If there is not a special interest group on your campus which is of interest, why don't you post an announcement to try to start one? Even if only one person shows up, that might be the one friend you need!

 

[Warmheart]

Join a group, club, or class for something comfortable and fun, that doesn't bother your sensory sensitivities nor overwhelm.
Model-building club
Birdwatching group
Sangha (Zen meditation group... more fun that you'd expect!)
Adult swim class at the gym or Y <--- really FUN!
Chess club
Hiking club
Painting class
Sculpture or Pottery class
Raquetball class at the gym or Y

Best of luck finding some really cool friends who love things quiet!

 

[ThatSkyWing]

I just want a friend, is that so much to ask. Its so hard to meet people as restaurants and many other places are too loud for me to handle. Most of the clubs at my college have loud events. Is anyone else like this? Any tips?

I've been living in the same town for 21 years(all my life, really) and I have never made one real friend where I am at. The three people I would consider best friends are all people I met online, and hopefully one day I can meet them in real life. I've never met anyone at crowded or noisy places either.

If you have any special interests I would suggest looking for groups about that particular special interest if there are any in your area, as others have suggested.

I'm afraid I'm not much help in this area but I wish you luck, and don't give up, there's a good friend or two out there for you somewhere.

 

[ChurchTheArtist]

It's not too much to ask. What's wrong with spending time, typing messages to people on a forum like this? I've enjoyed taking to lots of different people here and it's really easy because online messages don't have the over sensitivity problems you struggle with. It's pretty safe and you have a digital barrier too hide behind. You can spend more time thinking about what you are saying and even proof read it before sending it. Making frinds here may just be a stepping stone before you can start doing it in other places.

I know online friends aren't the same as someone to hang out with but if you can't swim yet, stop jumping in the ocean and start looking into swimming pools to learn to swim safely.

I'm further down this road by a good 10 years or so. I've practiced and learned many skills to make friends wherever I want. You can learn too if you ask the right questions and are willing to learn.

 

[AspiePie]

Usually if you try to make one with every person you meet you'll get some?