Newly diagnosed and it explains so much!

[kale]

Hi Kale,
I am newly self-diagnosed and am navigating some of the same issues. Gainfully employed with children. I deal with coworkers and clients by masking, which is exhausting and becoming more unsustainable as the years pass. Realizing that through very inefficient hard work I can "do" neurotypical, but I can't "be" neurotypical.

I can completely relate to how much it gets harder over the years. When I was younger I knew folks thought I was weird but bullying forced me to learn to mask in order to stay a little safer and due to the chance variables, “looking normal” and meeting another neurodivergent adolescent who became and still is my best friend, I was able to meet educational and professional goals.

Yet Through the years I’ve been subject to bullying at work, lost jobs even though I had good reviews because the typical neurodivergent masking challenges (and failures). Somehow it seems to be getting harder and more stressful. I love my job, it’s good for me except for the exhausting and stressful requirement to mask.Yesterday I read on one of the main autism support websites that ASDers in the level 1 group have a lifespan 16 years shorter than neurotypical peers. It was pretty shocking to hear I may only have another 6 years. I’m trying not to think about it too much. Right now my #1 goal is to make enough to help my son get through college.

Warm welcome to the group and thank you for reaching out!

Kale

 

[Fatamsimth]

Yikes. That's a sobering statistic. Though I am guessing the chronic stress, fatigue, sleep disorders, and maladaptive coping strategies can contribute to that truncated life span.

 

[kale]

Yikes. That's a sobering statistic. Though I am guessing the chronic stress, fatigue, sleep disorders, and maladaptive coping strategies can contribute to that truncated life span.

That’s what I’m thinking. I’ve spent my lifetime eating a heart healthy diet and exercising almost everyday. I’m a weight described by the powers that be as healthy yet I also have all the conditions you mentioned so my heart is not as healthy as it should be. The only thing I’m not doing for it is reducing stress. I try. I meditate, practice yoga and deep breathing plus vagal nerve stimulation. I even went through 6 weeks of TMS for depression. I think it helped? so here’s to trying our best and finding a supportive community.

Warmly,

Kale

 

[Fatamsimth]

TMS was recommended to me also. Seems we're on a bit of a similar journey. I vacillate between periods of "Now that I know what's wrong with me I can fix it!" and the knowledge that I've spent my entire life trying to fix it to no avail.

 

[kale]

TMS was recommended to me also. Seems we're on a bit of a similar journey. I vacillate between periods of "Now that I know what's wrong with me I can fix it!" and the knowledge that I've spent my entire life trying to fix it to no avail.

I’m vacillating between that as well! I really want to fix it and fear the best I can do is accept and continue to develop work-arounds, just with more information. I’m seeking a more in-depth evaluation that will identify my strengths and weaknesses and possibly seek assistance with what I struggle with. I hope strategy and knowledge will help. I live by strategic and planning. I also have a therapist who is helping me understand neurotypicals more. I been obsessed with reading books , research and seeking resources to a problematic extent since I got the screening results. But I know it’ll wind down soon and I’ll be better of for it.

 

[Fatamsimth]

If I could construct a world in which my work life, family life, and social life allowed me to only work with my strengths life would be so much better. Wish that were realistic.