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My Son With AS

GHA

GHA

Well-Known Member
Hi, Everyone. I am 60 years old and my son who is 31 and has a post graduate degree from a reputable University, doing extraordinarily well in his job has been diagnosed to have Aspergers Syndrome. He got married a year back. A troubled marriage and a lot of stress made him see a psychiatrist, who after several test diagnosed him to have Aspergers Syndrome. As a kid he was somewhat different than others but achieved all mile stone on time. He is a very kind and honest man with exceptional skills in research and writing. I have recently been reading a lot on the subject and now realize what is different about him? I guess he finds social situations challenging. His wife is also going through stress, she was advised by the psychiatrist to take the supporting role, but she is not ready to do so completely. I find him to have more and better skills than me.He is far better a human being than me. How do I explain all this to his wife???
I am proud of his achievements. Need some help!!!
 
That is a large burden, thinking or feeling that you must explain a whole person to another person.
 
I do not believe that you can, or should explain anything to her other than what you see. You can share all of the good things you see in him to reinforce them in her. It is up to her to remember why she married him, and to see those things for herself.
 
Thank You, Peace!! My worry is that my son has adapted to many of his challenges, His job is his life,He loves it and is doing well. This rift with the partner puts him in distress and therefore his job gets effected. Whenever, he is in stress his challenges become harder to adapt. Since the diagnosis, I have changed my role from a strict father to a friend. He likes to be my friend and I love this new relationship. People with (AS) are extraordinary, they may have challenges but have far greater strengths.
 
Since the diagnosis,I have changed my role from a strict Dad to a friend. I now, know him far better than before. He is very comfortable with me. He has changed three jobs in the last five years and for better opportunities. His salary package at his age is far better than an NT of his age and qualifications. He has adapted to his challenges very well, its only when he is in distress that the challenges become a bit difficult.Honestly for me as an NT it would have been impossible to adapt to the way he has done. Thats the reason, i believe that they have far greater strengths and a few challenges.
 
Peace said:
He is able because he has what we all need, "Someone".
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Peace, Thank You!! for giving your time. He has been diagnosed recently. We could never understand during his growing years, why he would not brush his teeth, give money away,would only eat a few things. Would not play games, had no friends. The only friends he had were a brother and three sisters. He was less interested in studies. I was very hard on him and forced him to do all those things. He would walk away whenever we had guests, We thought he was shy and will get over it. When he was in his teens he started doing all those things one at a time to please us. We forced him to learn driving and bought him a car. He started driving but had his own way to drive. He was always fond of reading and writing and this helped him develop great writing skills. It took him a bit longer to complete his undergraduate degree. Because of his exceptional writing skills he got admission in a very good University and completed his post graduation. We still had no idea what was different about him. Before, joining his first job, I made him sit in front of me and made him look into my eyes for days after days we did that exercise. Once he joined his job everything changed for him. He was suddenly a happy man. He was admired by his bosses for his work. His colleagues started asking for his help. This encouragement made him adapt to hygiene, dressing and appropriate social behavior. Last year he got married and his problems started. The day he was diagnosed to have AS, I cried and hugged him.Not because of AS but because all is life I was a very demanding father and forced him to do thing that were big challenges for him. To me he is a perfect professional, but am also aware that stress is something he has to remain a million miles away. For the last few months I have been reading books after books on AS to make myself aware of his way of looking at things. He is a creation of God and demands as much respect as anyone else.
 
like i say you need to understand aspergers and the the talents and strengths your son has and so does is wife to
 
oscar2012 said:
like i say you need to understand aspergers and the the talents and strengths your son has and so does is wife to
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Oscar2012, Thank You!! I completely agree with you. I can only pray his wife also understands. To be honest, its not very difficult to understand aspergers. They are great people to be with. I find friends on this forum very helpful.
 
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