My mother is thoroughly worthless at parenting.

[Metalhead]

Imagine this.

I join AA because my drinking has gotten out of control.

I invite my mother and stepfather over for a spaghetti dinner.

My mother wants to bring over a bottle of red wine.

She makes a massive deal out of it when I tell her “no” to that.

She claims I am making a mountain out of a molehill.

I hold my ground. No booze at my place.

A few months later, I have a one day relapse with the alcohol.

My mother finds out about that.

She responds with this line of BS.

Apparently, since you are drinking again, I think you owe me an apology for not letting me have my wine at your dinner that night.

I wish I was making this up.

 

[Aspychata]

Well mom, you owe me an apology for being my mom, and doing a crappy job, being more of a toxic blood sucker from another dimension. So you fell down, it's okay, just pick yourself up and get back in the rodeo.

 

[Metalhead]

Then she has the nerve to say I was the only one making a big deal out of not wanting alcohol in my house - when she was the one making a massive deal out of me telling her “no”.

She has issues.

 

[Kalinychta]

Man, she sounds like a real sweetheart. Have you considered limiting contact with her?

 

[Aspychata]

I think issues is putting it lightly. She has definitely left that campsite. She is more at narcissist demon that abuses her grown son campsite. That's why they say go grey rock and cut all contact. Because this will never end.

 

[Aspychata]

Mum

 

[Fino]

Holy moly. What prompted you to invite her over? And how did she know about the relapse?

 

[Rodafina]

This person is dangerous to your sobriety.

 

[Fino]

This person is dangerous to all our sobrieties.

 

[Misery]

With all that you've said about her, I've often wondered why you even interact with her in the first place. She sounds just plain toxic overall.

 

[Aspychata]

Sometimes it seems she snares you into her web of deceit and abuse. Like you keep hoping she will change and be a real mother. But it's not going to happen. I just went down the same path with my mom. She set me up for failure, and now l have a very hands off with her. She may have not done it intentionally, but she has been horrid and l just don't feel she ever has honored my boundaries.

 

[Metalhead]

I know my mother tells lies just about as easily as she breathes. She has violated every one of my boundaries and she is proud of that because she claims she does it out of love for me. That kind of gaslighting is insane. My entire blood family actually believes she is my number one advocate, even when she tells everybody not to take a single word I say seriously.

I am my family’s whipping boy. Time to go totally grey rock with every single one of them.

 

[Hazel_1914]

Going further than gray rock might also work. She facilitated abuse and participated in it, and continues to not even be a good neighbor or even a good drinking buddy (real drinking buddies accept and support a friend who doesn't want to partake... that's why cigars are nice). No Contact maybe would work as well.