Misunderstanding emotions at work

[stigmatic]

Not sure if I'm posting in the wrong forum.. But I think I misunderstand a lot of how my supervisor feels. A lot of the times I think he's being mean. I was wearing a shirt that is semi-offensive and I've worn it for a month now without anyone saying anything about it. He got mad with what it said and that it was a shirt and we're not supposed to wear shirts, yet a female on our crew can... The way he said it sounded angry, but I'm not very sure.
Does anyone else experience this stuff?

 

[The Penguin]

My manager had issues of my muscle shirt at work. Yet he haves no issues of this female worker wearing a sexual revealing dress. I feel sometimes females have more power what they are aloud to wear in the office when the manager is a male.

 

[stigmatic]

My manager had issues of my muscle shirt at work. Yet he haves no issues of this female worker wearing a sexual revealing dress. I feel sometimes females have more power what they are aloud to wear in the office when the manager is a male.

Well I feel like he has a problem with me. We used to get along pretty well and then he just seemed to be mean to me. Which I'm not sure if I did something wrong or not. I don't want to ask him cuz it may cause some sort of conflict and I hate conflict.

 

[The Penguin]

Sorry to hear that. My manager I had was very hard to work with. It took me a while to get use to him.

 

[stigmatic]

Sorry to hear that. My manager I had was very hard to work with. It took me a while to get use to him.

I just dunno if I'm the problem or if he is truly being mean.

 

[The Penguin]

Hopefully things will get better.

 

[epath13]

1) which forum did you want to post it on?
2) what did the t-shirt say?
3) if he was fine before and then suddenly changed his opinion, then maybe he's going through some tough times and is looking for somebody to take his anger/ frustration on.
4) maybe one day (if it's not too hard for you), while wearing something neutral you could ask him how he's doing, if everything is ok... There's no guarantee, but maybe he'll talk and you'll find out what the real deal is with him.

 

[red_dog]

It can be quite difficult for Aspies to pick up all the cues about someone's emotions. He may be just a little annoyed with your shirt, but either he is over-reacting, or you could be misjudging his reaction. It is possible that he could really have a thing against shirts like yours.

You could either ask a co-worker/s about the incident to get a NT view of the incident,
"Do you think that (the manager) over-reacted when I wore that shirt the other day?"

or ask the manager themselves
"Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you the other day. Was it the words on my shirt that was the problem or was it that I shouldn't be wearing a shirt?"

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

If you wore a shirt that you can characterize as semi-offensive to work, you should really stop wearing it. People may tolerate a borderline behavior once, but if you keep wearing it, it starts to look like you're making a statement about work. And that will turn people off. Who wants to hang around someone who looks as if they're advertising an attitude problem?

If that's not the only problem, then it may be "triggering" a negative reaction about other borderline problems.

 

[Kari Suttle]

My issue is that i can't read anger itself very well - i can't tell joking 'anger' from annoyance or even tell seriousness from annoyance. I can't tell if someone's mad or annoyed at something i did or if its moreso something unrelated to me. So i have issues reading anger in general, really.