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Making People Happy vs. Pleasing People — A Shift That Lifts Your Own Worth

GHA

GHA

Well-Known Member
Making People Happy vs. Pleasing People — A Shift That Lifts Your Own Worth
Over the years, I’ve realised there’s a big difference between making people happy and pleasing people.
Pleasing is when you bend yourself out of shape — your time, your boundaries, even your priorities — just to meet someone else’s expectations. It often leaves you drained, overlooked, and unfulfilled.
Making people happy is different. It’s about offering something genuine, on your own terms. A kind gesture, a moment of understanding, or even just listening with sincerity. You give without losing your sense of self.
Here’s the shift:
When you please, you lower your own worth to gain someone else’s approval.
When you make happy, you strengthen your own worth because you know you’re giving from a place of confidence and choice.
The act itself can be healing — not only for the person who receives it, but for you as well. It reminds you that you have the power to make a difference without erasing yourself in the process.

One drains self-esteem. The other builds it.
 
I prefer to just refer to it as kindness and having healthy boundaries.

I'm not particularly an outgoing person and I have no problems saying no to people (salespeople, people asking for favors that I don't feel like doing, etc). So I don't feel like I'm a people pleaser. But I don't feel like I have any issues with showing kindness.

We're all on this rock together. There's no reason to make life harder for others just because.
 
I had to learn that. Today I was reminded of the value of helping people. I was getting ready for a bike ride with the club and was greeting people. With one woman I remarked that it was very nice having her on the paddling trip I led on the Manistee River earlier this week. She said that my assistance in instructing her how to kayak efficiently really made the trip special for her. I enjoy being remembered for providing a good experience.
 
Empathy, I can understand that but when meaning is warped by someone entrenched in their own muck, it's not empathy it's simply person with deep issues, feeling sorry for themselves and projecting.
But since mainstream buys that like education we can insert piece upliftment into people can't otherwise think for themselves, well we have half-german-japanese empathy that are far from instated word, drilled through media until hopefully accepted as normal, lies, lies, lies.
Empathy should be able to detect another's unhappiness, that unrelated to themselves and be supportive for that person's sake not due to co-dependency.
 
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