AndrewMiller
Member
Hi there,
I'm been in a relationship with a woman for 8 years now, living together for 7. I met her and we became friends when she was running away from an abusive husband. She had two kids, two boys. They were living in precarious conditions, so after we had been dating for a while, I asked her to move in with me.
She was diagnosed with Anorexia, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, PTSD and later, BPD (Borderline personality disorder). While this explained some of her suffering, she always suspected something else would fit better. And she suspected Asperger's, and only recently some profesionals have confirmed her suspicion. She can't work because the kids are very dependent, but she's always busy with their things and taking care of the house.
The kids were both diagnosed with very severe ADHD, and later some unidentified behaviour dissorder. Two years ago, with the COVID quarantines the older kid started retiring from social life. It reached a point when he didn't leave his bed, didn't showered, didn't changed his clothes, and of course, didn't go to school. His therapist gave us some advice, or medication and then set an appointment for 2 months later. The school didn't help. Things were getting worse and worse, and we didn't get any help.
So when things were very scary, we took him to the ER, he was 15 years old. And he was hospitalized for 2 weeks. During the next year, he has been diagnosed with asperger's and epilepsy, mainly, and depression, agoraphobia, they found some brain damage and a genetic anomaly.
He is the center of our life. He's gone to school some days, but we are told he does nothing at all there, and at home we know he doesn't. This week he's not gone at all. He goes to a day care center 2 days a week. And he might go to another one for the whole next school year. He's a model patient there, does everything they ask him. But at home he's in bed or asking for some screen time without a rest. He shows an adict behavior towards his screen time, it started with videogames, then watching anime, and now reading fan fiction.
Any tast from their therapist, and any task we ask him as a member of a household, we need to fight for it. Even when he goes to school, or showers, is only after insisting and insisting on our part. He gets violent about it, and we even had to call the police once. And he's been hospitalized 2 more times in the last year.
His little brother, 11, is angry and anxious all the time.
All in all, living there is very hard, with discussions everyday, a lot of work, and no appreciation. And we don't see a light at the end of the tunnel.
That's our story in a nutshell.
I'm been in a relationship with a woman for 8 years now, living together for 7. I met her and we became friends when she was running away from an abusive husband. She had two kids, two boys. They were living in precarious conditions, so after we had been dating for a while, I asked her to move in with me.
She was diagnosed with Anorexia, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, PTSD and later, BPD (Borderline personality disorder). While this explained some of her suffering, she always suspected something else would fit better. And she suspected Asperger's, and only recently some profesionals have confirmed her suspicion. She can't work because the kids are very dependent, but she's always busy with their things and taking care of the house.
The kids were both diagnosed with very severe ADHD, and later some unidentified behaviour dissorder. Two years ago, with the COVID quarantines the older kid started retiring from social life. It reached a point when he didn't leave his bed, didn't showered, didn't changed his clothes, and of course, didn't go to school. His therapist gave us some advice, or medication and then set an appointment for 2 months later. The school didn't help. Things were getting worse and worse, and we didn't get any help.
So when things were very scary, we took him to the ER, he was 15 years old. And he was hospitalized for 2 weeks. During the next year, he has been diagnosed with asperger's and epilepsy, mainly, and depression, agoraphobia, they found some brain damage and a genetic anomaly.
He is the center of our life. He's gone to school some days, but we are told he does nothing at all there, and at home we know he doesn't. This week he's not gone at all. He goes to a day care center 2 days a week. And he might go to another one for the whole next school year. He's a model patient there, does everything they ask him. But at home he's in bed or asking for some screen time without a rest. He shows an adict behavior towards his screen time, it started with videogames, then watching anime, and now reading fan fiction.
Any tast from their therapist, and any task we ask him as a member of a household, we need to fight for it. Even when he goes to school, or showers, is only after insisting and insisting on our part. He gets violent about it, and we even had to call the police once. And he's been hospitalized 2 more times in the last year.
His little brother, 11, is angry and anxious all the time.
All in all, living there is very hard, with discussions everyday, a lot of work, and no appreciation. And we don't see a light at the end of the tunnel.
That's our story in a nutshell.
Thanks for the tip, though.
