I joined this site back a couple months ago. For a month straight after finding out I was on the spectrum I was very depressed. Lately I have been doing better, except I don't ever leave my house. I am academically gifted and intelligent but I cannot for the life of me converse with other people effectively. When I go out in public, middle aged professional males attempt to shame me in front of other people. I don't ever do ANYTHING out of the ordinary. I don't stim, I don't have meltdowns and my speech is impeccable, I'm more verbally fluent that most people. When I thoroughly contemplate why they decide to slander me without any provocation I think, maybe It is because I didn't acknowledge them? Maybe because I am younger or bigger? Maybe because I'm not married, I do live in the south. I'm completely dumbfounded but I try not to care. The thing is, I have started to internalize self consciousness and self hatred! I know people that shame other people for no reason probably hate themselves and are completely miserable more than likely. I just want to know methods for building self esteem.
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Looking for coping strategies
- Thread starter ftfipps
- Start date
Is it something about the way you look? Hair? Clothes? Piercings? Unfortunately some people are very intolerant when they perceive someone to be different from what they think they 'should' be. Maybe in the long term you should consider moving to an area where people appreciate individuality.
I don't have the answers... Its too obvious with my own posts that I sometimes don't have a clue either. I just try an immerse myself in stuff that makes me try and find the best of what I can find in life... Yes, I know bad is everywhere, but I also know if I look for it, I find ALWAYS... So why not look for something others aren't looking for?
People are mean and nasty, but honestly I just don't see them anymore (or I try not to)... Sometimes they kind of just force their ugliness on us... That just happened to me this past weekend, but I already moved past that monster who claims to be a part of humanity.
I do suck at giving advice sometimes, but please don't hate yourself... You are better than that (we all are). Self hate takes you down a very dark road fast if you are not careful. Been there, never want to go back. : )
People are mean and nasty, but honestly I just don't see them anymore (or I try not to)... Sometimes they kind of just force their ugliness on us... That just happened to me this past weekend, but I already moved past that monster who claims to be a part of humanity.
I do suck at giving advice sometimes, but please don't hate yourself... You are better than that (we all are). Self hate takes you down a very dark road fast if you are not careful. Been there, never want to go back. : )
what I know from psychology is insecurity!one thing you've got to work on is what is most important to you !it's hard to be honest with your self but people will get used to you ,establish boundaries what you are prepared to do and what you are not prepared to do ,it will be very easy if you do that !but you're probably become habituated to trying !!!!!!!!!to please people!so it won't feel !!!!!!!!easy !what the human mind can create is amazing !what we actually do is not amazing!
they are acting in a territorial way ,they are testing your strength,if you were in an area where gangs congregated you would be subject to Hazing !but in the south there is the veneer of Christianity.
concentrate on thinking about the level of respect you should give them no more no less .
I found if I don't acknowledge people I get trouble just !!!!look at them , if you don't want to have any kind of contact with them you don't have to !but you've got to be prepared for the consequences !it isn't a happy carefree life being like this! I know from soul destroying experience .
I also barely ever leave the house. I've learned in my 47 years that I don't understand socialising,until !I do this is what I will be doing.
One thing im trying to learn from the Bible is don't make them any more important than they are !they are not that important!!!!!
there is a singer called Daniel O'Donnell and he says avoid people that are loud!!!! but listen to your gut !quiet people can be nasty as well .
I don't have any piercings. I dress normally. Sometimes I think that having hair more than 3 inches long designates me as some free thinking anarchist in this poor excuse for a town. The place is practically devoid of culture and creativity. I used to go down to the local art district in my city. It spans only about 4 blocks but it is the only place in the whole city that isn't "consumerized" and indistinguishable from any other faceless American city. There are tattoo shops and night clubs and music venues there. The people that used to frequent this area were young bohemians like me just having a night out on the town. Now I go down there and all I see are bankers in pea coats sipping martinis. These plebs actually dress up to go out for drinks. it's disgusting. The one happening spot in this godless place has lost its soul. I would move out west but it too is going downhill fast in my eyes.
Lula1989
Well-Known Member
I have noticed people giving me looks and random people telling me to smile.. completely catching me off gaurd since I knew I was having such a nice day. Until I met my husband I never understood why everyone always wanted me to smile, when I was just fine lol. Turns out my face shows nothing, therefore people take me as grumpy, or a b****, or just cold.. maybe miserable when inside I am happy or content.
Point is, maybe you aren't aware of your posture or face. Nothing you can do about it. Just carry on and have the last laugh that those strangers got upset over your face when you were fine to begin with.
Point is, maybe you aren't aware of your posture or face. Nothing you can do about it. Just carry on and have the last laugh that those strangers got upset over your face when you were fine to begin with.
Mindset... It can also expose itself in an attitude, a look, a gesture, just a crappy stance sometimes... Change the mindset and the rest has to change to match... Its not easy... I still suck at it, but I know it works and it helps you (me)... Its not about the other people, they are seeking out LIFE in their own ways also, some seek help, others don't, and some are just mindless for now.'
Their mindset is theirs and unless your a warlock, or a mind reader there isn't much you can do about them... Its all on how we take it in... If we see it as all bad, it will be, and you just ordered more of the same. That is actually pretty much scientific fact at this point.
We are little creators, and we are a part of a lot of creation thats evolving really fast these days.
I have to keep my mind right, to not lose it... My mindset has maybe become the most important thing in my life, and yes I slip and fall all over the place, BUT thats when you KNOW its working because YOU noticed it... : )
Their mindset is theirs and unless your a warlock, or a mind reader there isn't much you can do about them... Its all on how we take it in... If we see it as all bad, it will be, and you just ordered more of the same. That is actually pretty much scientific fact at this point.
We are little creators, and we are a part of a lot of creation thats evolving really fast these days.
I have to keep my mind right, to not lose it... My mindset has maybe become the most important thing in my life, and yes I slip and fall all over the place, BUT thats when you KNOW its working because YOU noticed it... : )
It seems to me that in small towns cliques are easily formed and they love to have a new target to pick on. I'm not sure this is the case in where you are, but just throwing that possibility out there.
When I lived in Northern California, I was often singled out as a FED because of my military styled haircut and demeanor. If you are around an area where people would have a cause to be paranoid that could also be an issue.
As far as a coping strategy I got TF out of there.
When I lived in Northern California, I was often singled out as a FED because of my military styled haircut and demeanor. If you are around an area where people would have a cause to be paranoid that could also be an issue.
As far as a coping strategy I got TF out of there.
That's very possible.
If you don't fit into the social group ideals they enjoy putting you down.
nah its autism ,bible again!hypocrite take the beam out of your own eye before you try to take the mote out of anothers !
a lot of us do the above want the other one to change first The difference may be that you can't change and also note I memorised this quote but as usual I don't fully understand it.
quote from Big ideas veggie tales bible story book " remember God made you special and he loves you very much "
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