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extremely lonely, but also avoidant with severe social anxiety :P

L

late40ontheground

New Member
I don't want this to be a pity party for me, rather I'm asking anyone who has dealt with social anxiety, avoidance pd, etc how you cope and find your people. I have two kids who are my whole life. They are with me every two days but when they are away I get pretty lonely. My company is permanent work from home since the pandemic. I literally go nowhere unless it's to pick up my kids or take them to school. I am so avoidant, I can't even control it. In any social situation, even just saying hi to a stranger my fight or flight amps way up and all I can do to keep my cool is to just keep moving. Smile and nod. It's awkward. I'm almost 49 and online dating is awful compared to how it was 20 years ago. I do see a therapist, but I have been doing that most of my life and it hasn't helped with the avoidance. But I know I better get busy living or get busy dying. I've been divorced for 6 years and it has flown by like nothing.
 
Sorry if this is impolite, but I'm just curious how did you manage to find a partner, marry them and have 2 kids with them with such a severe social anxiety and avoidance?
 
Not at all. It took alot of caffeine and masking. After my divorce I did 2.5 years of ketamine therapy and it really made me realize how much I mask and I just cut way down. That coupled with the isolation has definitely increased my social anxiety.
 
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