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Loneliness and nothing else...

P

painfully

New Member
Im 35M from spain. I have been diagnosed with autism and depression about 10 years algo.

My main problems are that Im not interested in anything and that Im extremely lonely, but I just need one person in life...

I have been like this since I was a kid. I never liked to do anything particularly much... If people have super interests that are 10/10, in my case, whatever interests me cant be more than 4/10... Its not that I havent found my thing, its that I cant have a thing due to this...

My style of life is to basically always be in front of the computer, watching stuff or bored. I dont tend to go outside, just for errands. I also Im uncomfortable most of the time due to sensitive stuff... But its not unbearable. Its just uncomfortable. I mean, the skin, the light, the noises, etc... And they become worse going outside, so even less of a reason to go outside...

Since I have this lack of interests, there is no point in life for me... To add to this... What causes me most pain by far is the massive loneliness I feel... But sadly, by brain has "cut" the "need for friends" cable, so I dont feel a need for that... Socializing is very tiring and Im not even interested... The massive loneliness I feel is to have a single person I can trust and talk every day... And also cuddle a lot...

Ofc, being like this, sensitive, needy, boring, asocial, and stay at home, women dont want someone like me... I know because I have been searching for 20 years, I tried talking to a lot of women, and it always ends the same way... So I know that what Im looking for either is a miracle or doesnt exist...

Im just extremely lonely and I dont know what else I can do... Its very painful...
 
At your age, I was certain I would die single. Four years later I blundered into meeting a lady, and a year later we were married. Neither of us were actively looking for a relationship when we met. Go figure.

I'm a 67 year old grandfather now.
 
I dont know how your life has been, but I have been searching for 20 years... 4 years more of search isnt going to do much... Idk if I can say these things here, but I literally cannot keep living alone... There is nothing in life for me, just pain... And Ill give up in some time, maybe months, maybe a couple of years... But I wont make it to 40...

Also, most importantly... I dont even know where to search anymore... Tried all the forums in my country, reddit, dating apps for years...

I say in some time... But some days Im just ready to give up... I want to leave some things in order but I dont know how to do it, so maybe Ill just accept they cannot be in order...
 
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Maybe you will find some friends here....people you can trust. Or at least relate to...

Or just one person, as you said you want, so at least you have a trusted person to talk to -- even if not the trusted romantic partner I think you are describing that you are looking for?

Another thought is have you tried looking for autism specific dating or friendship sites?
 
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