List your social skills discoveries and questions in-real-time.

[Poppy98]

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[Poppy98]

Reply to your prior post, if desired, so that if you go to the last post, you can back track through it like a running log by clicking on the links. (If you're replying to something someone said, probably just reply to them, but for the rest, keeping a log might be helpful.)

Ask intent.

I need to start asking people what they're doing or what their intent is when they do weird and annoying things.
Ex.
"Are you yelling at me?" Gets to the point of the interaction and many people will reign themselves in at that point. It's also less likely to lead to a fight then responding to them yelling at me.


"What was your point in saying that?" Might have helped me figure out (or stop) someone who frequently says invalidating or controlling things.


So, in all things, focus on the point, not the words, and not even the literal meaning of the words, but rather the social (hierarchical?) meaning of the interaction. Is that what most interactions essentially are?

 

[Poppy98]

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Reply to your prior post, if desired, so that if you go to the last post, you can back track through it like a running log by clicking on the links. (If you're replying to something someone said, probably just reply to them, but for the rest, keeping a log might be helpful.)

I'm going to cross-reference to my notes here:

P

Post in thread 'How do I become more callous at work and not feel guilt?'

Yesterday at 12:38 PM

You've mentioned a couple of different issues in your post but I'll respond to the one I feel is most important first.


Social Hierarchy - The Hen Pecking Order. This is a game most autistic peole are not capable of playing. Here's a copy of one of my previous posts on the topic:

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The single biggest problem Autistic people face both within and outside the workplace is our inability to conform to social hierarchies. This is completely different and unrelated to the hierarchy between employer and employee, that hierarchy is easily understood and acceptable.

Many people require...

• Poppy98

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(More callous) thread