Letting it all go and taking it all back.

[Metalhead]

It is a cycle I wish to end. I wish to let it all go and leave it, and focus on what needs to get today to build a better tomorrow.

Resentments come back to me like a perverse form of echolalia. This needs to stop.

 

[Aspychata]

This is fantastic to read. I get it. It's easier to hold on to the past then move forward. I went thru this cycle a lot longer then you did.

 

[Aspychata]

It's great to read about you moving forward at this forum.

 

[Rodafina]

How about a new tagline, like “letting it all go and never taking it back.“

Or maybe, “letting it all go and turning my back.“

Or, “letting it all go and starting anew.“

You can break the cycle. You can smash this cycle into oblivion so that it cannot keep you trapped forever.

 

[Aspychata]

I thing your tag line is great!

 

[Rodafina]

@Metalhead

I said what I did about a new tagline because I interpreted the second part “taking it all back“ as the part of the cycle that you wish to break.

My suggestions for new tag lines was to support your desire to break free from the cycle. Please let me know if I have misunderstood something.

I hope once you let things go, the only things you take back are your sense of autonomy, empowerment, and optimism for the future.

 

[Ursus Chainus]

It is a cycle I wish to end. I wish to let it all go and leave it, and focus on what needs to get today to build a better tomorrow.

Resentments come back to me like a perverse form of echolalia. This needs to stop.

I feel this in my life. It is a constant cycle of mistakes in a world that doesn’t get how we are. Even with people like us who use the NT world as a gold standard.

I have no idea what my rights are in relationships. I don’t know how to act correctly… even worse, I don’t know how not to act incorrectly!

This leads to both catastrophizing and rumination.

All I can say is… fellow autistic people who have let go of the “NT” world ideas… get this challenge.

Positive and loving thoughts your way!

 

[paloftoon]

What helps me let things go is to prepare for the unlikely, but in a way that is still respectful to my own boundaries and all those involved.
Did you accidentally say something stupid to a person earlier? If you two somehow met and you had a chance to talk with the person again, maybe you could have the chance to apologize, the person would accept your apology, and then you could show why you and so and so should be friends again because you'll treat them to a meal on your own accord or something like that?
If it was something physical you did, that is something that could be irreversible, but if it was emotional, I think this type of thinking is healthy and positive. I think the unexpected did happen to me once or twice, but I wasn't prepared and around people who dismissed my situations unintentionally and didn't dig into the nuances with me enough.

 

[Metalhead]

@Metalhead

I said what I did about a new tagline because I interpreted the second part “taking it all back“ as the part of the cycle that you wish to break.

My suggestions for new tag lines was to support your desire to break free from the cycle. Please let me know if I have misunderstood something.

I hope once you let things go, the only things you take back are your sense of autonomy, empowerment, and optimism for the future.

Yeah, I take it all back because it is familiar, but it is detrimental to my growth as a human being. I should burn it in a bonfire and roast hot dogs over all of it. Now if I could do that in my backyard without being evicted - that’s another story.

 

[paloftoon]

Yeah, I take it all back because it is familiar, but it is detrimental to my growth as a human being. I should burn it in a bonfire and roast hot dogs over all of it. Now if I could do that in my backyard without being evicted - that’s another story.

There's gotta be a campground you could do something like this at, but it'd require you to travel probably.

 

[Rodafina]

Yeah, I take it all back because it is familiar, but it is detrimental to my growth as a human being. I should burn it in a bonfire and roast hot dogs over all of it. Now if I could do that in my backyard without being evicted - that’s another story.

You have the fierceness to break free from whatever holds you back. There is a fire inside of you that burns brightly with such intensity that your abusers will never be able to harm you again. Tend the fire within. Keep it strong, keep the flames alight.

 

[Metalhead]

I suppose when somebody’s experiences has been as thoroughly disvalidated by a mother who tells lies as easily as she breathes, of course I am going to be extremely angry about the whole situation and about her extreme boundary violations that continue even today. She has no business talking to my boss or my co workers, after all. But she convinced them she is my number one advocate, and that makes me want to puke.

 

[Metalhead]

How is this for messed up?

When I was in middle and high school, my younger sister used to physically assault me on a regular basis, often in front of my mother and stepfather, because she knew if I ever landed a defensive blow against her, my mother would press legal charges against me over it.

My mother denies all of this today, but I clearly remember her and my stepfather laughing at me because my younger sister always kicked my ass.

I am going to find a job where my mother holds no influence over my boss, and then I am going to move very far away.