Lack of Empathy: Trait of Autism?

[Neonatal RRT]

Yes, people on the spectrum can lack feelings.

Personally, it's not that those feelings are not being felt, but some combination of not being able to immediately identify and process them, so I end up appearing as if I am not reacting to them,...when inside myself, I am. OR,...I am actively and purposefully trying to internalize the emotions as a way to control myself.

Either way, I can understand why someone observing the behavior may interpret it the wrong way.

 

[Gift2humanity]

Most of the time, it is cognitive empathy that is more the issue when it comes to autism,...the ability to "read" people, the ability to "understand" another's perspective without specifically asking.

There are different types of empathy. Emotional empathy,...the ability to cry or laugh with someone is generally not affected in autistics.

The different types of empathy | Embrace Autism

What is meant by empathy is multifaceted—and to a degree, layered. Read further to learn about the 4 different types of empathy.

embrace-autism.com

Having said that, what you are describing is more of an emotional state,...anxiety, frustration, anger, etc.,...and when emotions are involved, it tends to inhibit the "logic" centers, irrational thinking ensues, and communication centers are also inhibited. That's why people are often relagated to cursing, not being able to complete a thought, nor a
sentence, and turn into "blubbering idiots". All of that,...is not "an autism thing",...that's a normal human thing.

The better question is to understand the underlying reasons for the emotions.

My ex had cognitive empathy and very good social skills, he liked groups.
He told me when he first met me he liked one-on-one, yet he was manipulative and managed to put me in uncomfortable group situations when he knew I was anxious.

He has not got affective empathy.
He did some really cruel things, he seemed to like upsetting people and make them cry.
He is definitely on the spectrum, even his best friend of 35 years said he was autistic.
He has special interests.
He cannot bear normal daylight and wears sunglasses due to light sensitivity.
He has a routine, he is highly organised.
He is obsessed about the time, watches, clocks etc and hates being late.
He did cruel things and wants to know the effects it had on me.

 

[Jonn]

For me it is as much a lack of immediate response to most situations where feelings are involved, but the response does come albeit a bit later. How much later varies from 1/2 hour to a couple of hours

I had the same "issue" with emotional lag when I was younger.
It doesn't seem to happen to a great degree these days.

 

[Jonn]

I would say NO im Severely ASD etc... and i actually have high Empathy (genuine serios empathy test) So i would say as in those without ASD etc... there is both those with lack or lower empathy as well as those like me with higher. and as this below statement i agree.

While I have a lot of empathy for other people, I have greater empathy/compassion for animals.
I think this affinity is rather common for those on the spectrum.
I suspect part of the reason for that is the result of so many autistics having been bullied by others in their life.

Animals, in general, are better than the human (un)kind.

 

[Jonn]

It’s not that autistic* people lack empathy. Rather, their different neurotypes and experiences may make it harder for non-autistic people to understand them—and vice versa.
Laura S. DeThorne
, PhD, CCC-SLP

Personally speaking, I think our lack of "Theory of Mind" has something to do with our lack of empathy when we are young.
When the "thinking/cognitive" prefrontal cortex is fully developed (for most, that is around 25), our ability of "cognitive empathy" may significantly increase.
It is a case of both brain development *and* personal life experience/wisdom which helps us understand others better.

BTW, I am not a binary (black&white) thinker and acknowledge there are shades of grey, as is the case for most things in life.

 

[Jonn]

I have no idea on that one Matthias. to me Empathy is as simple as the ability to understand and interpent other people's feelings properly.

I believe this is "Cognitive Empathy".
I don't consider this inferior to NT organic empathy, partly because it allows us to infuse reason/rationality/objectivity into our perception of the situation, rather than become irrational and unhelpful.

 

[Matthias]

My ex had cognitive empathy and very good social skills, he liked groups.
He told me when he first met me he liked one-on-one, yet he was manipulative and managed to put me in uncomfortable group situations when he knew I was anxious.

He has not got affective empathy.
He did some really cruel things, he seemed to like upsetting people and make them cry.
He is definitely on the spectrum, even his best friend of 35 years said he was autistic.
He has special interests.
He cannot bear normal daylight and wears sunglasses due to light sensitivity.
He has a routine, he is highly organised.
He is obsessed about the time, watches, clocks etc and hates being late.
He did cruel things and wants to know the effects it had on me.

He sounds more like a narcissist than someone with autism.

 

[Jonn]

The test im referring to is this empathy test Empathy Test - Determine Your Level of Empathy for Free

ᐉ Empathy Test - Determine Your Level of Empathy for Free

Determine Your Level of Empathy online ⚡ with widely used Empathy Test ⭐ Get to know yourself better from your free results ☝ here!

psycho-tests.com

It is tough for people with a reduced level of empathy to connect with others. Being in a large company is out of their comfort zone. Cases of misunderstanding with others are quite frequent. It`s easier to do everything themself, and the productivity only benefits from independent work. Professional qualities and education, not delicacy and friendliness, are of great value to you. Often, a person with this level of empathy does not take into account the emotions and feelings of loved ones enough or tries to ignore uncomfortable circumstances. This behavior does not contribute to establishing stable social ties. To develop empathic abilities, you need to work on communicating with others, concentrating on listening to another, and mirroring emotions. People of this type have insufficiently developed ability to feel, recognize, and anticipate others` emotional reactions, identify themselves with them, and express their sympathy.

Overall, I agree with this. However, I am extremely good at "reading people" in most situations.

 

[Fino]

I think it's important to keep in mind that the human race lacks empathy.

 

[Jeff T]

Does anyone have a link(s) to definitive and detailed examples of the empathy types?
Understanding exactly what is empathy still eludes me, despite several conversations with my therapist.

 

[Jonn]

I think it's important to keep in mind that the human race lacks empathy.

Particularly when it comes to other "tribes".

 

[Matthias]

I think it's important to keep in mind that the human race lacks empathy.

I think this is a recent development. I used to think a lack of empathy was a characteristic of the human race but several people told told me that people were much more loving and empathetic in the 1950s compared to today. I've definitely noticed society regressing during my lifetime. I also read that rates of mental illness, which is associated with a lack of empathy, skyrocketed from 2% of the population in 1950 to closer to 50% today in some parts of the world. It seems like there must be an environmental factor that's causing society to regress so rapidly to the point where many people have a near total lack of empathy. I think progress is possible if the underlying environmental factors are identified and reversed.

 

[Gift2humanity]

He sounds more like a narcissist than someone with autism.

Sorry I made him sound a narcissist, he is not narcissist.
I can't imagine a narcissist who loves his cat as much as he does, his cat meets him on the way home, even though he varies his time coming home, ie, leaving the pub early.
He thinks he is autistic, plus his friend of 35 years, he has epilepsy and loads of autistic traits.
He helps people and doesn't expect gain, even though things he does for people tire him out and can bring on a seizure.
He does not lose his temper and get narc rage.

 

[Fino]

I think this is a recent development. I used to think a lack of empathy was a characteristic of the human race but several people told told me that people were much more loving and empathetic in the 1950s compared to today. I've definitely noticed society regressing during my lifetime. I also read that rates of mental illness, which is associated with a lack of empathy, skyrocketed from 2% of the population in 1950 to closer to 50% today in some parts of the world. It seems like there must be an environmental factor that's causing society to regress so rapidly to the point where many people have a near total lack of empathy. I think progress is possible if the underlying environmental factors are identified and reversed.

Part of that increase in mental illness is that many more mental illnesses have been invented since the 50s.

 

[Matthias]

Part of that increase in mental illness is that many more mental illnesses have been invented since the 50s.

There's been a dramatic increase in the number of people suffering from depression and anxiety disorders which are the most common mental health disorders diagnosed today.

 

[Gift2humanity]

How can my ex be explained, I take it personally what he did to me.

 

[Billthecat]

So, I've been told I tend to lack empathy for others, which yes, I find to be an accurate assessment. There are times where I cannot find myself to give a damn about others or hurting their feelings and whatnot. There have been times where I have done seriously harmful things such as break things around me during my rage-fuelled outbursts - where I am blinded by it and cannot think rationally as a result - and not care about the broken thing afterwards, not care about scaring other people during the aftermath of my outbursts, or I am being lectured about how my actions can and will affect other people and I cannot find myself caring about it all. I'll literally be thinking things like "Okay, who cares?" the entire time.

I was thinking it was potentially a side effect of my autism symptoms, but I'm afraid to look into it because I'm worried I'll get a bunch of ableist search results from scrupulous places like autism mommy forums - if such a thing exists - and KiwiFarms if I do. I'm also afraid to mention this in more mental health oriented places because I don't want to perpetuate stereotypes about autistic people and also I'll get crucified by the toxic positivity types who lurk in those spaces if I do suggest such a thing.

I also don't think it's a result of something else like undiagnosed ASPD, because I don't fit the other symptoms of that condition.

Maybe I'm just an asshole, regardless of disorder, who knows. Either way, it's something I want to work on, because it's causing me a lot of issues.

Just try to keep yourself busy, with a mix of physical and intellectual activities, just to don't become an ogre (experience)

Something simple, walking, running, taking care of the garden.

When you feel physically tired, shut off everything electronic and take a book, listen a concert, talk with someone who can tell you about your family and your story, grandparents are an important source, we will remember always too late.

A man without interest is lazy, but a man without a culture is just a beast.

 

[Fino]

How can my ex be explained, I take it personally what he did to me.

I would think it was personal seeing as he was your ex. There's nothing to explain about exes. Romance very often leads to complete and utter disaster.

 

[Jonn]

I would think it was personal seeing as he was your ex. There's nothing to explain about exes. Romance very often leads to complete and utter disaster.

I have always maintained that love makes people crazy/irrational.
BTW, Falling in love is a choice better left unchosen. lol

 

[Jonn]

Part of that increase in mental illness is that many more mental illnesses have been invented since the 50s.

And there are man-made mental illnesses through electronic harassment.