Jokes.

[Nathan]

Three little monkeys jumping on the bed.
One fell down and broke his head.
Mama called the doctor and the doctor said:
"No more monkeys jumping on the bed."

Two little monkeys jumping on the bed.
One fell down and broke her head.
Mama called the doctor and the doctor said:
"No more monkeys jumping on the bed."

One little monkey jumping on the bed.
He fell down and broke his head.
Mama called the doctor and the doctor said:
"That's it. I'm calling child services."

 

[IContainMultitudes]

From astronomer Neil DeGrasse Tyson:

If chefs ever prepared food on the Moon, their dishes might be tasty, but their restaurants would have no atmosphere.

http://twitter.com/neiltyson/status/47068681041227776

 

[gonzerd]

From astronomer Neil DeGrasse Tyson:

If chefs ever prepared food on the Moon, their dishes might be tasty, but their restaurants would have no atmosphere.

http://twitter.com/neiltyson/status/47068681041227776

I'd say if chefs ever prepared food on the Moon, their dishes might be dusty, and dusty restaurants don't get stars.

 

[kasmanaft08]

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

You can roast beef.

(I love terrible jokes by the way)