Is it weird that I never want to see a therapist, counselor or physiatrist because I don't want them telling me how to feel?

[Dagan]

Therapists don't try to control you. They listen to you and help you form a process for your well being going forward.

Per whatever it is that ails you or keeps you in a negative mental state: You don't learn to make it entirely go away. You learn your own process with trained guidance on how to handle it all because it's always going to be there with you. The more rock solid your process, the more it lessens affecting you so strongly, but no, there's next to nothing that will make it all just go away. Even undergoing hypnosis to repress memories doesn't work like fiction / movies make it seem.

You are in control during therapy. You are in control away from therapy. You simply learn in therapy how to carry over to everyday life. If the therapist can't relate to you or help....you find one that can. A lot of folks have to do this, so it won't be a rarity, should you have to "shop" for the right one.

 

[Xinyta]

So I have low self esteem. Is it weird that I never want to see a therapist, counselor or physiatrist because I don't want them telling me how to feel about myself? If they did, things wouldn't go well in the appointment.

This is not unusual for someone with very low self-esteem. But here is the thing about low self-esteem. It lies to you.

I'm 100% with @JayLapointe on this.

As someone who's mental state has been total trash for, going on, 30 years. I'll say this. Yes. Your feelings are valid, but they are also exceedingly irrational. Low self-esteem feeds off your doubt. It eats at your psychi the more you give it power. And that's the dirty little secret. That kinda negativity has no power, if you don't give away your power to it.

It's harder once it's habit. But that only means you must work harder to break the cycle. And therapy can give you tools to help address it. But those tools must be used by you, if you choose to use them. But avoid the trap alot fall into, where you use therapy as a crutch to feel better. Treating the therapist like a sounding board for all your ill gotten thoughts.

You have more control than you think. But you must be willing to take control. And how you do, is your choice.

 

[Judge]

I think therapy is worth a chance unless one has formally already dealt with it. I won't put the process itself down, though I will also admit that in my own case, it failed.

Having gone through an HMO and therapist who seemed more interested in simply collecting a paycheck. Who would only periodically interject not to comment on my thoughts, but rather to remind me of the limitations of my HMO's mental health coverage.

However I also tried CBT when it came to my OCD. Another form of therapy which in my own case failed to take root.

Does it mean anyone and everyone will have similar results? No, of course not.

 

[arithmetic]

If you ever did see a therapist, what would you want from them?

I used to see therapists, because I was trying to understand why my life didn't work. I saw medical doctors specialising in psychiatry, I saw clinical psychologists, I saw alternative therapists and I visited religious leaders and healers.
Not one of these was able to tell me that I am autistic.
I had to make the diagnosis myself, then have it formally confirmed by a registered clinical psychologist. (I also had to study medicine and make the correct diagnosis of a terrible skin disease that those lazy drips weren't able to diagnose, themselves.)

Ohh, and the other thing... I am lonely as f and transference just happens too easily, which of course helps nobody. Like how much sense or decency is there in me seeing someone for therapy when I know that the basic problem I have to deal with is loneliness, and I know that we'll both wind up crying?

If I were ever to see a therapist again I would probably want them to rubber-stamp something I'd already worked out for myself, or so that I could get access to facilities of some kind.