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Is it normal to lose interest in romance after someone argues against it or scares you out of it?

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2Fragile2TakeCriticism

Black sheep in my own community
V.I.P Member
When I was in grade school, I was your typical feminine girl who likes pink, loves dress-up, fantasizes on makeup and nail polish, and most of all swoons at the sight of boys. My parents despite them encouraging me to be more feminine, as they view all girls should be, are disgusted by my infatuation towards boys at a very young age.

My mom, and other women, and some of my female cousins told me I’m supposed to be in the “boys are icky” phase, I was seven at the time someone first told me this. One time at school I got in trouble for chasing a boy my age during recess, because of the stupid law that says no kissing, hugging, or chasing the opposite sex, and I didn’t understand why.

The truth was I don’t know a thing about boys or the things that go on in their minds, but I was interested in learning about them. unfortunately for me, my parents were fed up with my interests towards the opposite sex and they made a long and nasty lecture on how I am not a normal person to be attracted towards boys and I am not allowed to have a boyfriend until I am a grown adult. I was nine when my parents put their foot down.

As I grew older, the words sunk deeper into me. I grew up to be the dullest, most boring person to be around nowadays. I had very few friends and they didn’t last long. I also had to move to different schools and all my old friends moved away. I was sent to a Christian academy at high school so my parents could protect from all the drugs and “perverted men”. The Christian schools were the most BORING schools to ever participate in. My secular middle school was at least very appealing throughout my time there. In my teenage years, I felt so overprotected that it became a miserable experience for me.

I wanted to be like normal teenagers, having joyrides, going to parties, kissing boys. But that all changed because of my extremely religious parents. In middle school, I was also indoctrinated that all sex is bad and periods should be kept to myself. Cringey parents like mine were the reason most kids were prohibited from learning about what sex was.

High school was hell for me, I was the only girl in my school that wore glasses AND braces, and had a tracking sheet due to my unacceptable behavior (a totally different subject). I was an absolute outcast, and at the time, I had already completely lost interest in boys. The only thing on my mind was that how was I going to survive.

Nowadays in my adult years, I have a complete aversion to boys. What’s even more infuriating is that my mom kept begging me to get a boyfriend and get married, even though I kept telling her no. “One day you will” she will say. It pisses me off that she’ll scare me out of having any sexual desires then years later she’ll ask me why I haven’t got a boyfriend yet. But still others would say “good girl” every time they ask me if I’m married or have any boyfriends and I answer no. I’m confused as hell.

Society tells us that children are supposed to view the opposite sex as gross and weird. But if a child is curious in any way about the opposite sex, it’s somehow forbidden to have any infatuation especially at a young age. Normally most kids who find girls/boys to be icky would later have a relationship with one years later. However I was the complete opposite, as a child I was crazy over boys, but nowadays I cringe whenever I meet a boy, even grown men.

These days I find romance to be useless and disgusting. And I couldn’t tolerate the sight of men without suddenly freaking out. I was messed up throughout my childhood which resulted in a sad adolescence and adulthood. I thought myself to be not normal when I found out I have an aversion to affection. But I slowly realized I had become asexual when I started learning about it.

As an adult, I was a completely different human being, a monster even. Pink did not interest me, dress-up became too childish, makeup felt forced and unnecessary, and I shut myself out from the public as much as I could. I wanted to go back to the days when I was completely innocent and instead encourage myself to learn more about boys and form an actual relationship. But now it’s too late. And I could never change it no matter how hard I tried. That is just what it would have to be.
 

Forest Cat

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Is it really too late, or does it feel like it's too late? You said it's not possible to change it now, but it says you are 24 so you are an adult and you can do whatever you want. No matter what parents or other people say or have said before. It would be a shame if something your parents told you when you were 9 would stop you from living your life now. I'm sorry to hear it's so difficult for you, it sounds difficult.
 

tree

Blue/Green
Staff member
V.I.P Member
@2Fragile2TakeCriticism

Have you considered blogging?

That way you could express yourself and
nobody would be confused, thinking you
were looking for advice.

The title of the thread asks a question that
leads a person to suppose you're looking
for input.
 

Judge

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Perhaps you are asking the wrong question of yourself.

In essence I see nothing "normal" in how one may have been deliberately programmed or indoctrinated to behave in a certain manner. No matter what it may involve.

The process itself is alien to a person if it has to be forced upon them. Whether it involves programming, formal indoctrination or even the worst, gaslighting.

I was fortunate to have parents who simply recognized by the age of 15 that all the religious indoctrination and dogma of the RCC didn't take. The let me opt out of the church, and that was that. Not related, though two years later I also vowed not to let anyone "put me on the spot" if I could help it.
 
Last edited:

2Fragile2TakeCriticism

Black sheep in my own community
V.I.P Member
@2Fragile2TakeCriticism

Have you considered blogging?

That way you could express yourself and
nobody would be confused, thinking you
were looking for advice.

The title of the thread asks a question that
leads a person to suppose you're looking
for input.
The question does not imply I’m looking for advice. I am simply asking if anyone relates. Relating to something is NOT advice. It’s simply saying “I totally understand what you’re talking about” and nothing more.

And no, I will not blog. Hope that answers your question. And please do not suggest I’m looking for input unless I blatantly say I am. This is several times I’ve been told this, and it is getting very annoying.

So please refrain from doing that again.
 

tree

Blue/Green
Staff member
V.I.P Member
If all you want is 'yes' or 'no' responses,
you could post a Poll.

And make it clear you're not interested in anything
other than knowing whether others have had experiences
similar to yours. That would be input, but not advice.

Or you could direct members to click
"Agree" on your first post, since it appears
that's what you're looking for. Assurance
that others share your point of view.
 
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