silverrachael
New Member
hi! I'm new to this forum. I joined because I may have had a lightbulb moment in regards to my son and I just need to talk with people that may have experienced the same.
My youngest second son, Ben is turning 20 this week. He is s undiagnosed but as I have worked in SEN schools for the last year, it's amazing how I am recognising similar behaviours between my charges and my son's but I'm not 100%.
When Ben was younger, I asked our doctor to refer him as he was walking on his toes. We were given ankle splints and told he possibly grow out of it which he did.
Ben didn't experience trouble at school. He was very sneaky about hiding his mischief. He ran a contraband business of selling bad foods and fizzy drinks when they were banned at school. This was fuelled by his love of money. He got into trouble once that I knew of but was clever enough to move underground to conceal it.
Ben enjoyed business studies, was very good at maths and DT and had a highly tuned eye for detail. He loved drawing and I was amazed when he produced a map of a town. The detail was tiny and so fine and I was very proud at what he produced and I made sure I told him.
As I mentioned, Ben didn't experience trouble at school, although I think he struggled slightly with friends. He preferred to keep to one friend if any at all and was often quite "aloof" in public.
I'm quite a sensitive person and have a history of suffering from depression and used to struggle with Ben's behaviour at home. I used to feel that Ben used to get an unusual kick out of winding me up and he definitely knew how to press my buttons. We often came to clash and my ex husband always used to say that it was because we were very similar. One thing that was different was, as I grew up, I held a respect for my Mother but this seemed to be lacking in Ben. At one time, my ex started to join in with Ben's behaviour at home, that is to say " Let's have fun and wind Mummy up" I'm not sure how old Ben was when this started to happen but he might have been about 13 or 14 years old. By the time Ben was 18, it was so effecting my mental health, that I decided to move out.
It's never easy when your parents separate. Mine divorced when I was 12. Ben seemed to take it bad. He and his Dad moved into a flat but it wasn't long before he had to move as he struggled with Ben's behaviour. Ben would ring his Dad at work and ask that he stay away till late at night, just because he wanted to be alone with his girlfriend.
For a long time, Ben refused to see me as he blamed me for the separation but I'm glad to say that I was persistent and he is slowly lowering the barriers.
Has he displayed signs of mild High end Autism? On completing school, I encouraged him to be very proactive and he got himself on a paid apprenticeship on the Thames barrier and he has a very clear progression plan for his studies and career. He drives a car and is totally independent, all before his 20 birthday next week, and I am very proud of him and always make sure that I tell him so.
I just want him to be happy
Rachael
My youngest second son, Ben is turning 20 this week. He is s undiagnosed but as I have worked in SEN schools for the last year, it's amazing how I am recognising similar behaviours between my charges and my son's but I'm not 100%.
When Ben was younger, I asked our doctor to refer him as he was walking on his toes. We were given ankle splints and told he possibly grow out of it which he did.
Ben didn't experience trouble at school. He was very sneaky about hiding his mischief. He ran a contraband business of selling bad foods and fizzy drinks when they were banned at school. This was fuelled by his love of money. He got into trouble once that I knew of but was clever enough to move underground to conceal it.
Ben enjoyed business studies, was very good at maths and DT and had a highly tuned eye for detail. He loved drawing and I was amazed when he produced a map of a town. The detail was tiny and so fine and I was very proud at what he produced and I made sure I told him.
As I mentioned, Ben didn't experience trouble at school, although I think he struggled slightly with friends. He preferred to keep to one friend if any at all and was often quite "aloof" in public.
I'm quite a sensitive person and have a history of suffering from depression and used to struggle with Ben's behaviour at home. I used to feel that Ben used to get an unusual kick out of winding me up and he definitely knew how to press my buttons. We often came to clash and my ex husband always used to say that it was because we were very similar. One thing that was different was, as I grew up, I held a respect for my Mother but this seemed to be lacking in Ben. At one time, my ex started to join in with Ben's behaviour at home, that is to say " Let's have fun and wind Mummy up" I'm not sure how old Ben was when this started to happen but he might have been about 13 or 14 years old. By the time Ben was 18, it was so effecting my mental health, that I decided to move out.
It's never easy when your parents separate. Mine divorced when I was 12. Ben seemed to take it bad. He and his Dad moved into a flat but it wasn't long before he had to move as he struggled with Ben's behaviour. Ben would ring his Dad at work and ask that he stay away till late at night, just because he wanted to be alone with his girlfriend.
For a long time, Ben refused to see me as he blamed me for the separation but I'm glad to say that I was persistent and he is slowly lowering the barriers.
Has he displayed signs of mild High end Autism? On completing school, I encouraged him to be very proactive and he got himself on a paid apprenticeship on the Thames barrier and he has a very clear progression plan for his studies and career. He drives a car and is totally independent, all before his 20 birthday next week, and I am very proud of him and always make sure that I tell him so.
I just want him to be happy
Rachael
