I'm seriously afraid of making mistakes!

[UberScout]

When my real father was around he HATED when I got something wrong, be it math homework, chores or any kind of task.

Maddog is a little more lenient but still gets annoyed at me doing slapdash jobs. He never [explicitly] expects perfect jobs but when it comes to cleaning the room I can't leave any stone unturned.

When I have my monthly prescription of Adderall, I am able to do everything right, that's like Popeye's spinach to me. But when it wears off and there is still stuff to do, I begin to realize that I'm inevitably going to suck at it, I will unavoidably fail, and I will unavoidably get cussed out or engaged in a fight that I can't run from.

Now I can't stand messing something up because I've ended up doing so so many times with negative reinforcement following.

When I stayed at the Good Shepard it was even worse; on top of grown men who made it their goal to get a rise out of me every single day, this was capitalized by the sweeping/mopping chore I always got assigned to. One minute I'm moving too much, the next I'm not moving enough, the next I missed a spot that I already cleaned, etc. And I couldn't stand it.

Why does this world hate Autism so much? I'm human nonetheless, why can't that be appreciated?

 

[Fino]

Are there times when you don't have your Adderall prescription, or do you mean when it wears off each day?

 

[Stardust Parade]

My dad was like that when I was growing up. It was hard, and has effected me as an adult.

 

[UberScout]

The same outcome for me exactly. I'm jittery and fearful and I couldn't make up a bed if someone was holding a gun to my head.

 

[china autie]

I appreciate you.

 

[SunnyDay16]

Some people are just a-holes. You can't take it too personally. And yes, even family members can be a-holes.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

Same here for me. You're not the only one. I'm not the only one.

Wait...

I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO FEELS THAT WAY! HOLY CRAP!

 

[Illkurok]

To err is human though, friend. We all make mistakes, I make plenty every day in some form or another, but we can't beat ourselves up over it, only try to do better.

 

[dhl02]

I have a really hard time convincing myself that learning comes from failure, and that it is ok to fail. I've always operated on the "failure isn't an option" wavelength for as long as I can remember. People tell me that it is ok to fail. I ask them if they can relieve me of the stress and anxiety that comes with trying to please everyone so I can move on. That isn't an option I guess. I feel crushed by social pressure to conform to society. I can't think because the frustration and anxiety is so crippling. I tell everyone that if they just told me that they had zero expectations of me, then I could relax enough to actually learn and move on. With that social pressure, it is just too much weight for me to bear. It messes with my head. If they'd just accept that I have issues and that if I figure it out, do and if I don't figure it out, I won't and there really isn't anything they can do about it. Social pressure is NOT working. It is counterproductive. It might work with NTs, but it has the opposite effect on me.
/endrant