I'm In Such A Bad Way

[Hopeless_Aspie_Guy]

Sorry it's a bit of a long one this time.

Every day feels like a boring routine that I'm trapped in (which I know to be something of an illusion created probably by the depression because this kinda life used to be fine years ago and also other peoples lives all seem boring to me as well). The only thing that normally stops me from getting very upset (literally) everyday is the medication I'm on and apparently running out for just one day may make it easier for me to get upset, so I gotta make sure that never happens again.

I wake up every morning in anxiety and gradually throughout the day start to feel better, but this means that I'm extremely indecisive and that my personality almost changes throughout the day to reflect the grow in confidence and happiness. I'm always tired still when I wake up (not the same kind of tiredness that I went to bed with) but it's possibly causing me to feel more anxious at wake-up, its giving me a shorter attention span at home, means I always have to have naps during the day if I'm at home (probably half the day), my personality is robotic and cold and I'm just less motivated to do anything. My bedroom is often messy (never used to be, in fact I was extremely tidy).

My turn now to talk about a fairly useless medical practitioner, the mainstream psychiatrist I saw over a week ago. Seemed more interested in asking basic questions suited for a gp and not very personable a guy. He even got loads of the facts presented to him wrong when I later received the summary through the post because (as just one example) apparently my tablets are working well (I told him they don't help with the hypersexual side and nor do they reduce my depression, they just stop me from getting upset most of the time). Fortunately this was not the peson that the lady who referred me intended for me to see and so I am now going to be allowed to see her as she has further skills that was felt might benefit me.

I felt sooo soo angry with my hypersexual side a few days ago (and literally spent the entire day feeling angry). It created both romantic and sexual feeling for this girl I met for a second time at my friends gf's b-day and it was pathetic watching it from within me try to interact with her because I know that for starters my depression makes me cold and distant and so in the end it ended up being another guy in the group that she got on better with and has recently arranged to meet purely for sexual encounters. It would have loved sexual relations with her, I meanwhile knew I wasn't up to any of it and that it'd end badly. The day after the party I messaged my friend a few times, firstly telling him to tell his gf (who is her best friend) to let her know how I felt and later telling him that I was making a mistake and not to bother and then I reversed my decision again until the fourth time where I told him not to bother and left it at that.....finally .
The hypersexual side really wants sexual encounters with women of all sorts and has been pushing me hard to engage in adult dating or escorts and I've been trying my best to stop it ever since. It misinterprets the depression and feeling trapped for loneliness and just uses that to try and manipulate me in my vulnerable state of mind

 

[Adder1234]

Sounds as though you're stuck in a rut. To be completely honest, I've never been in a situation like yours, so I'm not sure if I can be much help. Still, I'll give you what advice I can.

About the depression; one of the best ways of helping with depression is exercising. Even going for a jog for ten minutes a day can do wonders, and once you've done it for a few days it will become a part of your schedule and you shouldn't have much trouble remembering to do it. Another way to help with depression is to do something spontaneous that you've considered doing before but have never gotten around to it. If you can convince yourself to do it (it can be anything, as long as it kind of scares you) then the adrenaline rush will actually help clear up your depression for a while and should leave you in a positive mood for a while. Also, if all else fails, "fake it till you make it" can work on depression, but it takes a long time. I basically got rid of most of my anxiety and depression by pretending to be fine and forcing myself to talk to people.

 

[Streetwise]

Have you ever been offered an anti androgen?
Its supposed to lower the male hormone that stimulates male sex drive also should be offered psychotherapy and other advice is a self help group presumably for sex addiction
the info was also ssris axil,prozac,zoloft
definitely exercise but not too much

Sorry it's a bit of a long one this time.

Every day feels like a boring routine that I'm trapped in (which I know to be something of an illusion created probably by the depression because this kinda life used to be fine years ago and also other peoples lives all seem boring to me as well). The only thing that normally stops me from getting very upset (literally) everyday is the medication I'm on and apparently running out for just one day may make it easier for me to get upset, so I gotta make sure that never happens again.

I wake up every morning in anxiety and gradually throughout the day start to feel better, but this means that I'm extremely indecisive and that my personality almost changes throughout the day to reflect the grow in confidence and happiness. I'm always tired still when I wake up (not the same kind of tiredness that I went to bed with) but it's possibly causing me to feel more anxious at wake-up, its giving me a shorter attention span at home, means I always have to have naps during the day if I'm at home (probably half the day), my personality is robotic and cold and I'm just less motivated to do anything. My bedroom is often messy (never used to be, in fact I was extremely tidy).

My turn now to talk about a fairly useless medical practitioner, the mainstream psychiatrist I saw over a week ago. Seemed more interested in asking basic questions suited for a gp and not very personable a guy. He even got loads of the facts presented to him wrong when I later received the summary through the post because (as just one example) apparently my tablets are working well (I told him they don't help with the hypersexual side and nor do they reduce my depression, they just stop me from getting upset most of the time). Fortunately this was not the peson that the lady who referred me intended for me to see and so I am now going to be allowed to see her as she has further skills that was felt might benefit me.

I felt sooo soo angry with my hypersexual side a few days ago (and literally spent the entire day feeling angry). It created both romantic and sexual feeling for this girl I met for a second time at my friends gf's b-day and it was pathetic watching it from within me try to interact with her because I know that for starters my depression makes me cold and distant and so in the end it ended up being another guy in the group that she got on better with and has recently arranged to meet purely for sexual encounters. It would have loved sexual relations with her, I meanwhile knew I wasn't up to any of it and that it'd end badly. The day after the party I messaged my friend a few times, firstly telling him to tell his gf (who is her best friend) to let her know how I felt and later telling him that I was making a mistake and not to bother and then I reversed my decision again until the fourth time where I told him not to bother and left it at that.....finally .
The hypersexual side really wants sexual encounters with women of all sorts and has been pushing me hard to engage in adult dating or escorts and I've been trying my best to stop it ever since. It misinterprets the depression and feeling trapped for loneliness and just uses that to try and manipulate me in my vulnerable state of mind

 

[Streetwise]

My stupid phone i did not press an emoji for a laughing face this phone is going to drive me mad

 

[tree]

Feeling trapped in a boring routine is a
message you're sending yourself.

What happens next depends on your
interpretation of the message.

 

[Hopeless_Aspie_Guy]

"fake it till you make it" can work on depression, but it takes a long time. I basically got rid of most of my anxiety and depression by pretending to be fine and forcing myself to talk to people.

If nothing else I love that saying and yes this is what I kinda try all the time.

Have you ever been offered an anti androgen?
Its supposed to lower the male hormone that stimulates male sex drive also should be offered psychotherapy and other advice is a self help group presumably for sex addiction
the info was also ssris axil,prozac,zoloft

I'm seeing a second psychiatrist who is also a psychotherapist, this may lead to me being prescribed the anti-androgens, but they're reluctant typically to prescribe to anyone but sex offenders, I'm gonna have to be tactful.

Feeling trapped in a boring routine is a
message you're sending yourself.

What happens next depends on your
interpretation of the message.

I kinda feel that it wouldn't matter what I did because you can only distract yourself from the truth for so long.

 

[Streetwise]

Licquorice root to lower sex drive 25 gms / 1 oz

 

[kay]

I don't know if I can give you any worthwhile advice about depression but I'll tell you whatever I can think of. Sorry if all these ideas are terrible:

-Go somewhere and literally get a new perspective. I always recommend hiking and fishing. But if not that, then get yourself somewhere different for a bit. Maybe a museum.

-Try a new routine, new food. Start the day out different. Shower first then breakfast or whatever might be different. Just find a way to change something. And I know that can be uncomfortable so change things slowly.

-Less electronic stuffs. If you are using FB try quitting. If you watch television quite a bit give it up for something new. Reading or cooking. Something. Do stuff with your hands.

-Exercise is great. At least get out for a walk or bike ride or if you can as swim can be good. At least that's what I've heard.

-Look at what you are eating. What you eat can have a big influence on mood.

-Go ahead and try to get the bedroom cleaned up and cheered up. Put on some music and if you can force yourself to at least get the room back to tidy it might help.

-Get organized in general.

That's all I can think of right now. Sorry I don't have better ideas.

As for the hyper-sexual situation I have no ideas at all. It seems I would be described in the newest, trendiest, contemporary terms as demi-sexual, or something like that, so I can't relate at all. Wish I knew what you could do to resolve that problem. I have a male friend who is in a similar situation. He's hyper-sexual but can't find any women at all interested in him and he's really lonely.

 

[icesyckel]

@OP, you're perilously close to (if not already) anthropomorphizing your "hypersexual side," which can be dangerous. It's just an observation, but I've observed (and read) that giving a separate life and identity to one's negative emotions can result in shifting the blame to this new "identity" and thus absolving one of responsibility for his/her own actions. Respectfully, that may lead to unfortunate behavioral consequences and even violence.

I'd strongly advise you to share this post with the psychotherapist you mentioned.

 

[Hopeless_Aspie_Guy]

@OP, you're perilously close to (if not already) anthropomorphizing your "hypersexual side," which can be dangerous. It's just an observation, but I've observed (and read) that giving a separate life and identity to one's negative emotions can result in shifting the blame to this new "identity" and thus absolving one of responsibility for his/her own actions. Respectfully, that may lead to unfortunate behavioral consequences and even violence.

I'd strongly advise you to share this post with the psychotherapist you mentioned.

I hear your concerns but I do not agree. Bottom line is that whilst I'm not responsible for initiating the thoughts, desires or actions, I am still the person from which they manifest and must still control them (which I do, they just torment me internally to no end).