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I wish I could have helped my friend more.

The fact that my friend is dead while my aunt is still alive to pump herself full of opiates every five minutes is proof there is no God.
 
I am so sorry @Metalhead .

I cannot pretend to understand what you are going through. But when I was in high school, I had a friend online who was autistic. One night, I got into an argument with him. The next day, he died. Now, this was NOT suicide, so this is not equivalent to your situation. It was a heart defect. But every now and then, I think, I was the last person he talked to, and it wasn't a positive note.

You cannot change the past. But you can change the future, and strive to be a better person. Any of us - you, me, anyone on this forum - might die.

I truly hope you can find a way to mitigate your loneliness.
 
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