I just made my mother cry.

[Metalhead]

My mother is very sad that I am not going to the family Thanksgiving. She also is very sad that I am refusing to forgive one of my cousins after he stole many video games from me a while ago and she threw me under the bus to make sure he got away with that. I told her I would forgive him if he apologized for the theft. That made my mother start sobbing uncontrollably because I was not going to forgive him without an apology.

What a worthless narcissist my mother is.

 

[Dagan]

Don't apologize. Ever. If you aren't wrong, don't apologize for it. Hear me clearly. You are justifiably mad about this, and you should be. Being right carries the ultimate form of justice. The only kind. Also, sometimes (actually most times) the only way you win against a narcissist is preventing them from having any control over you at all, especially your emotions. Stay firm. Stay justifiably mad. Most of all, just go radio silent, if you can. Give her nothing. Silence and shadows can bring the ultimate peace in many cases.

 

[Hazel_1914]

She might have benefitted from the shock of it. Perhaps it will teach her a lesson.

I told my family that it's no longer a difference of opinion but of morality. Nothing wrong with being right about something, is there?

 

[Judge]

Sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Period. Stand your ground.

 

[Tired]

 

[Metalhead]

Yeah, my mother is playing the victim because I am refusing to forgive this cousin, not only for this but also for wearing a neo-Nazi skinhead T-shirt to the last family gathering I saw him at. A legit neo-Nazi skinhead T-shirt. And apparently I am an asshole because I had a problem with that. Mom admitted to me she saw nothing wrong with that at all, and that I should see nothing wrong with that as well.

 

[Dagan]

Duct tape them to chairs and make them watch Green Room.

 

[Shevek]

No, your mother made herself cry.

 

[Hazel_1914]

No, your mother made herself cry.

she's also missing out.
she turned on the waterworks to get you to react.

 

[Metalhead]

Another time my mother decided to pull out the tears was after I told her I was not OK with her outing my homosexuality to the entire family one Christmas day, especially since there were extremely homophobic family members in the room then. She showed up at my doorstep and started sobbing after I told her I was not OK with that, then she stormed away sobbing, then a couple of hours later she called me and asked me if I stopped taking my psychiatric medications. Seriously. She shows up acting hysterically, yet somehow I am the crazy one.

 

[Hazel_1914]

Another time my mother decided to pull out the tears was after I told her I was not OK with her outing my homosexuality to the entire family one Christmas day, especially since there were extremely homophobic family members in the room then. She showed up at my doorstep and started sobbing after I told her I was not OK with that, then she stormed away sobbing, then a couple of hours later she called me and asked me if I stopped taking my psychiatric medications. Seriously. She shows up acting hysterically, yet somehow I am the crazy one.

That's a safety issue.


My employer doesn't know I'm transitioning, but I don't have any choice _other_ than doing that because my body is behaving extremely poorly with testosterone in it (turns out THAT's why I was depressed.) All my paperwork is male. Just as well. I wear work clothes cut to hide the changes in my figure, and just deal with the worsening discomfort of whiskers. Being "outed" is a major safety issue esp. if you work with people who are violent, or in your case, have family members who are.

You are who you are, and that should be fine, and she and that whole side of the family don't sound like they're worth associating with.

 

[Metalhead]

Yeah, I have to keep in mind this is the same woman who started crying and claiming I was hurting her when I told her I did not want to discuss the X-rated details of my sex life with her - she was claiming she only wanted to know the X-rated details of my sex life "because she loves me". That was far beyond sick and perverse on her part. That pretty much equated to verbal rape and covert incest.

 

[Metalhead]

I should stop talking to this woman altogether.

Seriously.

She may have kept me out of the mental institutions when I was a child, but that was not because she cared about my well being at all.

She wants to give off the image of being the perfect autism mother. She gets off on making me upset with her, because then she can nail herself up on the cross and make a show out of how her horribly retarded son is hurting her, but she still loves her cognitively impaired child no matter what. She makes a massive show out of how much she "loves me" as long as nobody takes any word I say seriously.

Forget this blood family. I think I will start saving my money to move to the other side of the country in a few months from now.

 

[Metalhead]

In any case, I just sent her a text telling her I am sorry she feels so strongly that my cousin deserved to take the rare and out of print video games he stole from me without facing any consequence, and that I was never going to renew this conversation with her ever again. My discussion of my cousin with her is now eternally over.