I have an operation next month and am terrified

[RealisticRobin]

I'm having my gallbladder removed and am scared I'll die

 

[TBRS1]

Upcoming surgery is very, very scary.

The odds are that you will be fine.

However, that doesn't make it less scary.

I wish you well.

 

[Xinyta]

The fear of doing surgery is a natural thing. You are surrendering yourself to doctors, in hope's that they will do what the say they will. But the likelyhood of dying is very low and would be a very unique situation.

 

[RealisticRobin]

They make you sign a waiver beforehand too..

 

[Xinyta]

Yeah. It's a c.y.a. for doctors. Just sucks that they overcharge you for stuff like that, if you don't have insurance to cover it. Or if you don't pay up front, in cash, for it.

Though I doubt many doctors nowadays even accept cash.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

As a person who has worked in busy intensive care wards, who has managed patients in the ICU as well as in surgery, all I can suggest here is that the people who will be with you...are highly trained.

Real life healthcare has very little to do with what TV and movies would portray...my wife (an RN) and myself (a respiratory therapist) literally cannot watch any of that without picking it apart. We are very quick to chastise the medical advisors on these productions. But...I digress.

As far as surgeries go...gall bladder surgery is one of the more simple ones. So, from that perspective I can say that risks are very low of anything "unforeseen" happening. Furthermore, your surgical team all have licenses...and if you hold one of those licenses, you want to protect it. From that perspective, if someone is a "high surgical risk" in terms of poor outcomes, they may choose to not perform that surgical procedure. They do have the right to not put themselves...and the patient...in that situation.

Now...as a healthcare worker, as a person of science, I have an understanding of what goes on in surgical suites, I understand what can go on, the risks, the unforeseen events, etc...my opinion goes mute when it comes to how YOU feel about letting go, putting your life in someone else's hands. That cannot be underestimated nor under appreciated. It's a scary thing. Personally, I deal with "non-elective" surgical procedures...in other words..."It needs to be done...or else." A gall bladder issue is not imminently life-threatening, per se, but in terms of surgery, it may not be "elective" either. So yeah...it puts you in a bit of a "pickle"...you can live in pain and discomfort, and have all the GI issues...you can live without surgery, per se. OR...you have the surgery and have it all go away...but in order to do that you need to have the trust to "let go". Everyone processes that differently. I can give you no advice on that. I wish we could share a consciousness and we can work through it, but I don't have those skills.

 

[Grondhammar]

Everyone else makes good points here, especially about medical license holders wanting to keep their license and so being very cautious of high-risk situations. The fact that they're will to operate means it's very, very likely you'll be ok.

One thing I'll add, from experience, is to bring something with you that helps ease the worry. They won't let you take it into the OR due to risk of infection, but the one surgery I had done (internal injury after a bike wreck), I very stubbornly brought a palm-sized stuff dog with me, and held onto it until the prep room where they put me under.

 

[Crabcore]

I've had both my appendix and gallbladder removed and honestly, the surgeries themselves were totally fine. You've got pretty good odds on your side there.

 

[RealisticRobin]

Indeed, it's not imminently life threatening, but I am told it can become so and I would need emergency surgery.
I have an inflamed gallbladder. I went to accident and emergency in June and have been on the list for removal since then.

As a person who has worked in busy intensive care wards, who has managed patients in the ICU as well as in surgery, all I can suggest here is that the people who will be with you...are highly trained.

Real life healthcare has very little to do with what TV and movies would portray...my wife (an RN) and myself (a respiratory therapist) literally cannot watch any of that without picking it apart. We are very quick to chastise the medical advisors on these productions. But...I digress.

As far as surgeries go...gall bladder surgery is one of the more simple ones. So, from that perspective I can say that risks are very low of anything "unforeseen" happening. Furthermore, your surgical team all have licenses...and if you hold one of those licenses, you want to protect it. From that perspective, if someone is a "high surgical risk" in terms of poor outcomes, they may choose to not perform that surgical procedure. They do have the right to not put themselves...and the patient...in that situation.

Now...as a healthcare worker, as a person of science, I have an understanding of what goes on in surgical suites, I understand what can go on, the risks, the unforeseen events, etc...my opinion goes mute when it comes to how YOU feel about letting go, putting your life in someone else's hands. That cannot be underestimated nor under appreciated. It's a scary thing. Personally, I deal with "non-elective" surgical procedures...in other words..."It needs to be done...or else." A gall bladder issue is not imminently life-threatening, per se, but in terms of surgery, it may not be "elective" either. So yeah...it puts you in a bit of a "pickle"...you can live in pain and discomfort, and have all the GI issues...you can live without surgery, per se. OR...you have the surgery and have it all go away...but in order to do that you need to have the trust to "let go". Everyone processes that differently. I can give you no advice on that. I wish we could share a consciousness and we can work through it, but I don't have those skills.

 

[RealisticRobin]

I've had both my appendix and gallbladder removed and honestly, the surgeries themselves were totally fine. You've got pretty good odds on your side there.

I worry because I have other conditions that make it slightly more dangerous.

 

[Masked Man]

If they do the surgery the way I had mine done it's a minimally invasive procedure done with a tiny scope and leaves a tiny incision afterwards. I had no issues getting mine done and mine was an emergency situation. I don't know what your other conditions are but if they are going ahead with the surgery then the benefits must outweigh the risks.

Try to relax. I know it's easier said than done but these are highly skilled people. Gall bladder removals are just about the easiest procedures there are.

 

[TBRS1]

This is a good time to indulge in some epic self care.

Whatever it is that you enjoy doing, do it as much as you can.

 

[Richelle-H]

As someone who has had several surgeries in my life, you should relax and not stress about it. I understand where it comes from, for each time the anesthetic was administered I would wonder. I am prone to expecting the worst, but it rarely if ever manifests in reality.

Your surgery is not particularly difficult in the scheme of things. Back in 2012 I had a portion of my ascending colon and my appendix removed. I was held overnight but released the next day. You will more than likely have at least one follow up appointment to keep tabs on your recovery.

I have also had half my thyroid removed, corrective surgery for a broken humerus (in 4 separate places), and a large cyst removed. Not one of which caused any serious or lasting problems beyond waiting to heal, and needing someone to pick me up and drive me home.

My thoughts are with you, as I understand why you are focusing in on other conditions, but you will have a highly skilled team in the operating theatre with you and ready to react immediately if one of your other conditions becomes a factor (I can testify positively about that particular concern).

You will be fine, so do not dwell on the unlikely, as it barrowed stress beyond what any of us on the spectrum deals with day to day.

 

[RemyZee]

You'll be fine but it's normal to be scared, even terrified. Be open with the medical people about how you feel; listen to music; BREATHE is the most important.

 

[the_tortoise]

They make you sign a waiver beforehand too..

They do this for almost everything that is surgical or requires general anesthetic. (Some medical institutions do it for literally everything.)

I remember school trips where there were liability waivers my parents had to sign that included mention of potential injury or (highly unlikely:_) death. (Ropes course, long distance travel)....nobody even got injured let alone died.

I dont want to downplay your fear or the
reality of risk of death involved in surgery, but just to put the liability waiver part in perspective.

The doctors are likely 99.999999% sure you will not die.

And if they were hugely worried about you dying, if it was (i think) say equal risk of you dying from surgery as from no surgery, they would tell you, explicitly, beyond their standard scripts they tell everyone...

and I suspect (cannot be sure, just recalling risk conversations I have had with doctors and am not a medical person -- hopefully all the healthcare people on here will jump in and correct me if I am just way wrong about anything) they are thinking the risk of your dying from worsening or just continuation of the gallbladder disease is at least equal to (and probably greater than) the risk of you dying from the surgery.

The fact that they're will to operate means it's very, very likely you'll be ok.

One thing I'll add, from experience, is to bring something with you that helps ease the worry. They won't let you take it into the OR due to risk of infection, but the one surgery I had done (internal injury after a bike wreck), I very stubbornly brought a palm-sized stuff dog with me, and held onto it until the prep room where they put me under.

I second this.

Maybe because I had surgery at a Children's Hospital (was legally a child, but an almost man-sized adolescent child who already had to shave) my stuffed rabbit was only taken from me after I was unconcious (I think actually in the operating room ...) and was placed back at my side before I woke up.

Spoiler: Reasons i think was OR

this was ages and ages ago and everyone was already in full OR gear and it looked like an operating room, and this was after one of the general anesthetic things was injected into my IV line and a mask put on my face...still remember the tone of doctors changing slightly just in the moment before I was actually unconcsious and they stopped saying comforting things to me and started talking to each other

So if you take a comfort object you could maybe even ask them to let you hold it until you have fallen asleep.

I hope your surgery goes well.

And that all who care for you are patient and kind and help you to be brave and to feel you are safe as you can in the face of your very understandable, and understandably overwhelming fear.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I have learned to accept my surgeries as a relief from issues keeping me from being active. Three years ago I had three surgeries within a year. Two were expected. One was to correct a thoracic outlet issue on my right side that impacted the use of my arm and was causing pain when I kayaked. A stent did not correct this and I received a carotid to brachial bypass. The discomfort was minimal. The worst was when I had surgery for an issue and then had a bleed into my bladder which clogged the catheter. This was corrected within a day, But, before I received relief (10 hours of level 9 pain - think of Munch's The Scream) the stress was extreme and I had chest pains. Cardiac got involved and in the cath lab found some narrowing in my Left Anterior Descending coronary artery and I had open heart surgery shortly after. Recovery was a bit painful, but now it is a fading memory and I am finding that my endurance has been restored. I thank such surgeons for improving the quality of my life.

 

[RealisticRobin]

Thank you everyone. I am still scared but it's a relief to talk about it.

 

[the_tortoise]

Thank you everyone. I am still scared but it's a relief to talk about it.

Keep talking as you need or want to, we will be here. Support is important.