I have a bizarre problem that is ruining my life.

[Horseless Headsman]

Hello, Aspie Central.

I'll begin with a brief introduction. My name is Michael, I'm 25 years old, and I have Asperger's Syndrome, although my therapist prefers to call it High Functioning Autism. I wasn't diagnosed with ASD until I was 24 years old, so needless to say, life has been exceptionally difficult for me. Moving on...

I have a bizarre problem that has virtually ruined my life. I have no known allergies, but as of February of this year, I have been terrified of food for fear of going into anaphylactic shock. This started suddenly and without merit. I was eating cereal at the time this first began, thus making milk the most evil of foods. The fear of milk especially has taken an unfathomable amount of food from my diet. Knowing what anaphylaxis is, and being terrified of it, I'm also very weary of the top 10 food allergens, such as peanuts, treenuts, and shellfish. There are very few foods in general regardless of what it is or what is in it that do not cause me great anxiety. For an hour after eating nearly anything, my anxiety is at an intense level, my throat feels like it's closing, my heart is pounding, I'm jittery, and continuously check the time, as anaphylaxis will usually happen within the first hour. Not surprisingly, I've never actually gone into anaphylactic shock.

This is completely ruining my life. Nobody seems to be able to help me. Have any of you experienced this, do you know of anyone that has, and can anyone PLEASE help me?

 

[Rocco]

Have you discussed this with your doctor? If no, you should. Sounds obsessive, and I have been to similar places, I don't know what else to say, except to offer moral support. Best wishes.

 

[StephF]

I agree with Rocco, speak to your doctor. You need to be referred for psychological treatment / counselling.

 

[Horseless Headsman]

I did see my Primary Care Physician, who then referred me to the mental health facility in my county. The therapist there has been utterly worthless. She wants to diagnose me with Schizophrenia on the basis of being "paranoid of food" and that alone. She is aware that I have AS, but is trying to push this nevertheless, and is trying to force 300mg of Seroquel down my throat. I have an irregular heartbeat and Seroquel is dangerous for such people; not to mention the "diagnoses" of Schizophrenia based on a food anxiety is a complete and utter joke. I have no business taking this drug and haven't. It seems there is no help for me.

 

[clg114]

Get a different doctor. They are not all the same. You have to trust your doctor, or they can not help you.

 

[Warmheart]

Welcome, Headless Horseman. I went through something similar in my early 20s, completely consumed with extreme fear of bacteria in all food. I knew my fears were unfounded (nobody else was keeling over dead from soup, potato chips, apples, etc.), but I clung stubbornly to concepts of salmonella outbreaks, E. coli incidences, etc. The subject fascinated/horrified me. I was stuck. I grew weak, shaky, thin, and cognitive function suffered. The fear was awful. My compassion to you!

What helped: I went to a psychiatrist (keep looking until you find a GOOD one!) and took an anti-anxiety med for about 6-8 months. It was long enough to break the obsession/anxiety combo's cycle.

This is when an ASD obsession (obsessive thinking) combines with our tendency toward anxiety. We are prone to obsessive thinking when we are overwhelmed in our lives. As you select a really awesome psychiatrist to find you a good treatment to get through this, you'll also need to address the overwhelm in your life.
Find an ASD specialist who can look at the big picture of your life-- home, school, work-- and see which demands in your life need ASD-specific supports. Overall, things will feel gentler soon.

With a treatment plan in place that you can feel good about, time also will help ease this. I am wishing you peace.

 

[Hedgehog Instigator]

I did see my Primary Care Physician, who then referred me to the mental health facility in my county. The therapist there has been utterly worthless. She wants to diagnose me with Schizophrenia on the basis of being "paranoid of food" and that alone. She is aware that I have AS, but is trying to push this nevertheless, and is trying to force 300mg of Seroquel down my throat. I have an irregular heartbeat and Seroquel is dangerous for such people; not to mention the "diagnoses" of Schizophrenia based on a food anxiety is a complete and utter joke. I have no business taking this drug and haven't. It seems there is no help for me.

Sounds like you're having a panic attack. I suffer from them and I used to think I was asthmatic. When I realized it was my body reacting to stress I started getting the coping tools I needed. Associating food with it is probably just an association from bad timing, my panic attacks were caused by feeling like I wasn't good enough and wasnt liked. But because they coincided with exercise my mind linked the two. Try to work on panic attacks, I maintain mine with a combo of coping techniques, medication, nutrition, and sleep.

 

[Judge]

Sounds like you may have developed a comorbid condition such as OCD. Irrational compulsions...that cannot be ignored. I live with them...and yes at times they can be quite annoying.

 

[ChurchTheArtist]

I can relate Horseman. I have encountered similar spells, though recently mine was caused by something different. I'd like to address the two issues separately if you don't mind.

First off: I have allergies. I when into shock as a child when I ate a candy bar with peanuts in it and ever since, I haven't been able to eat peanuts. It was strange because I had eaten it before and never had a problem. One time, I ate a small spoonful of clam chowder and threw up. I found out that I was then allergic to all seafood and shell fish. In my mid 20s (and this is the annoying part) I just magically developed lactose intolerance! This was really strange because I talked to many physicians and nutritionists and everyone said the same thing "No on just becomes lactose intolerant." Yet it happened. It was also a huge blow to my diet! Recently I have been showing signs of gluten intolerance as well. My mom told me that she had read somewhere that people with autism can sometimes develop weak stomachs but that she had never realized what that could mean until she saw me struggling so hard to eat.

So when it comes to the idea of food intolerances/allergies ruining your life... Trust me, I understand.

However, I am clever and stubborn. I find ways around it and to stay safe. I always keep Benidryl and other allergy medications on hand. Never go anywhere without allergy meds! I have been using Lactaid pills as well because they offset the lactose intolerance very well so I can eat lots of cheese and ice cream again. I still have to avoid seafood and peanuts but really, it's not as big of a pain as it sounds. Fishing has no luster or joy for me which is hard because I live in Alabama. On the milk thing, you may have an allergy, or you may be lactose intolerant (more likely) which is okay because our economy is set up well for it. We have soy, almond, silk and lactose free milk. I have turned to Lactaid a lot because they make a lactose free milk that is just like normal milk except I can drink it and it lasts forever! Normal milk spoils like a banana but without the lactic acid, it lasts for months! Also, if you like cereal, Almond milk tastes better than normal milk when combined with a healthy cereal like Honey Bunches of Oats or Chex.

Your second problem is definitely psychological. I have been through food aversion and paranoia spells as well as having OCD. Food aversion is a way that your mind decides it doesn't want food. You may even be hungry and looking for something to eat but looking at food makes you want to throw up or pass out. It is usually caused by trauma related to foods. Yours may be trauma of an allergic reaction whereas mine was grossly overeating (to try and gain weight). Paranoia also is part of aspergers and it comes in many forms. It can be attributed to our black/white nature of viewing things as well as our minds' tendency to use extremes. In the autism, we generally have an unconscious thought to couple something bad with thoughts of confusion and unfairness to come up with an extreme thought. This is similar to saying "Everybody hates me" or "Why do all girls cheat on me?" Our brain interprets pain and trauma in forms of irrational extremes due to our innate misunderstandings of abstracts. Our subconscious takes the "safe route" in saying that because of this trauma, all of these circumstances must be avoided!

This is important. Not just in understanding your anxieties for foods but for understanding your recent diagnosis. What you are going through may be psychological but it is in no way going to be easy to get out of. Rewriting your subconscious and unconscious thoughts to debug the glitch of a paranoia, phobia, anxiety or aversion requires concentration, dedication, humility, self control, and self awareness. You may do well to find someone to keep as an accountability partner to help you through this. Luckily I see this forum as a very positive place where we all work to understand and help each other.

If you have any questions, rebuttals or additions to what I said, let me know. I'd like to help.

 

[Warmheart]

Another suggestion along with a good psychiatrist for meds and an ASD specialist to help streamline your life:
Add in some really fun form of routine physical exercise. This helps with anxiety and obsessive thinking.
I chose swimming. The exertion clears away some anxiety, it gives my brain better health, and I have something fun to look forward to several times per week.

 

[ChurchTheArtist]

Another suggestion along with a good psychiatrist for meds and an ASD specialist to help streamline your life:
Add in some really fun form of routine physical exercise. This helps with anxiety and obsessive thinking.
I chose swimming. The exertion clears away some anxiety, it gives my brain better health, and I have something fun to look forward to several times per week.

Warmheart has a good point. Not only does it help psychologically but doing exercise will cause your body to burn more calories and require more nutrients. Ultimately, if done correctly, you will force your body to crave food more. Build up your appetite that way. And be sure to eat healthy.

 

[DogwoodTree]

However, I am clever and stubborn. I find ways around it and to stay safe. I always keep Benidryl and other allergy medications on hand.

Horseless Headsman do you think you could take reasonable precautions as if you were allergic to something, even knowing that you aren't, in order to relieve the anxiety? What if you carried around some Benadryl or (I have no idea if this is available) an OTC epi pen? Then, just knowing you have that safety net IF anything ever happened, maybe it would help you relax?

When I have unwarranted anxieties like that, I try to work through...what do I need in order to feel like I would be okay even if the thing I fear were to happen? It's like...just knowing I have my safety net in place, drains off some of the fear around the thing, and then I'm able to work myself out of the anxiety as time goes by (mostly because I eventually get bored of keeping my safety net in place).

 

[ChurchTheArtist]

Horseless Headsman do you think you could take reasonable precautions as if you were allergic to something, even knowing that you aren't, in order to relieve the anxiety? What if you carried around some Benadryl or (I have no idea if this is available) an OTC epi pen? Then, just knowing you have that safety net IF anything ever happened, maybe it would help you relax?

When I have unwarranted anxieties like that, I try to work through...what do I need in order to feel like I would be okay even if the thing I fear were to happen? It's like...just knowing I have my safety net in place, drains off some of the fear around the thing, and then I'm able to work myself out of the anxiety as time goes by (mostly because I eventually get bored of keeping my safety net in place).

Very well put DogwoodTree. You seem to have a nice way of summarizing my long-windedness.
I know how to swim yet I still wear a life jacket just in case. I think it may help.

 

[tree]

Horseless Headsman "I have no known allergies..."

Does that mean you have been tested and found to be
free of allergies?

 

[Horseless Headsman]

Horseless Headsman "I have no known allergies..."

Does that mean you have been tested and found to be
free of allergies?

No, that only means I've never had an allergic reaction to anything. When all of this started, it wasn't over an allergic reaction, just a sudden fear of the possibility that has lead me to the hell hole I'm in today.

 

[ChurchTheArtist]

Key word: Fear
Key phrase: Fear leads to hell hole

 

[Jusdifferent]

Don't know what to say... Other than to agree with the others, about seeing a good doc. ((( HUG ))) That must be rough... ( Feel bad for you ) Hope things get better soon <3

 

[Judge]

I can relate. Part of my OCD involves concocting imaginary and severe consequences to benign happenings. It's stupid and I know it's such, but neither can I seem to keep my mind from occasionally indulging in such things.

Lately I've been trying to tell myself in real-time when it happens that this is bullsh*t. And move on. It still happens but at least I try to keep it all real in as much as I can. Not sure this will make mush sense, but there it is.

OCD can be quite awful at times.

 

[Rocco]

I can relate. Part of my OCD involves concocting imaginary and severe consequences to benign happenings. It's stupid and I know it's such, but neither can I seem to keep my mind from occasionally indulging in such things.

Lately I've been trying to tell myself in real-time when it happens that this is bullsh*t. And move on. It still happens but at least I try to keep it all real in as much as I can. Not sure this will make mush sense, but there it is.

OCD can be quite awful at times.

Wow! I could not agree or identify more this exact issue. I do this (among other things/habits/procedures) all the time, but could not articulate the concept.

 

[Judge]

Wow! I could not agree or identify more this exact issue. I do this (among other things/habits/procedures) all the time, but could not articulate the concept.

It IS hard to articulate period. Sometimes for myself it can be incredibly stupid. Like superstition on steroids. But it is what it is for me.

Like never leaving the house without four pennies. The best I could do lately was to purge my penny collection down to around maybe $2 worth. But even then I never seem to run out....so I "feed" my OCD. But stopping it cold turkey? That's like stopping checking to see multiple times if my front door is always locked.

Small wonder I seldom discuss it with much of anyone in person.