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I feel like a pariah in my own town

Thanks for that, I'm in college now and I'm not really a pariah, I just don't talk to anyone. Nothing was bad like my junior high days. It's very sad though, some people perceive you to be weird just because you have aspergers or something else. Let me guess who gave you the most trouble? jocks right?
 
I want to tell a story, back in junior high. I became obsessed with this girl, I would call her house and hang up on her. I would drive by her house without her knowing and I would print out pictures of her editing them and repost back on the internet. This was back in 2001 and I have gotten help for it and I even apologized to her. I feel like she told her friends about it which were my friends too and now they don't want to be around me. It's like they are scared of me. I feel so awful and maybe it's time to move to a new town and start all over. I just want to know what causes obsessions? Can it be part of the autism spectrum? Do any other aspies feel like they are a pariah? I mean what can I do, I apologized to her and I still feel my old friends hold a grudge against me. I was also very immature back then, I didn't mean to stalk her, it just got out of control. I'm not a bad person. :(
yeh people dislike me for various reasons stalking is terrible for the victim but its a mental illness centred around rejection IM not excusing hurting the victim
if you haven't begun clean a psychologist start now
 
I want to tell a story, back in junior high. I became obsessed with this girl, I would call her house and hang up on her. I would drive by her house without her knowing and I would print out pictures of her editing them and repost back on the internet. This was back in 2001 and I have gotten help for it and I even apologized to her. I feel like she told her friends about it which were my friends too and now they don't want to be around me. It's like they are scared of me. I feel so awful and maybe it's time to move to a new town and start all over. I just want to know what causes obsessions? Can it be part of the autism spectrum? Do any other aspies feel like they are a pariah? I mean what can I do, I apologized to her and I still feel my old friends hold a grudge against me. I was also very immature back then, I didn't mean to stalk her, it just got out of control. I'm not a bad person. :(
the bit of my post where i say clean will be fuel for the funny emoji and sarcasm hopefully my panic attack wont last long
 
i will
I want to tell a story, back in junior high. I became obsessed with this girl, I would call her house and hang up on her. I would drive by her house without her knowing and I would print out pictures of her editing them and repost back on the internet. This was back in 2001 and I have gotten help for it and I even apologized to her. I feel like she told her friends about it which were my friends too and now they don't want to be around me. It's like they are scared of me. I feel so awful and maybe it's time to move to a new town and start all over. I just want to know what causes obsessions? Can it be part of the autism spectrum? Do any other aspies feel like they are a pariah? I mean what can I do, I apologized to her and I still feel my old friends hold a grudge against me. I was also very immature back then, I didn't mean to stalk her, it just got out of control. I'm not a bad person. :(
 
Thanks for that, I'm in college now and I'm not really a pariah, I just don't talk to anyone. Nothing was bad like my junior high days. It's very sad though, some people perceive you to be weird just because you have aspergers or something else. Let me guess who gave you the most trouble? jocks right?

Nope. Just my fellow "geeks and nerds", the NT ones that is.
 
When I was younger, I was very violent and had a crazy temper on me. So I spent years having people avoid me because they were afraid of me. Eventually though, I realised that I was the one with the problem, so I started helping people and being polite to them and now I'm well respected by everyone I know, even the people who I've hurt in the past. So it's just a matter of proving to people that you've changed.
 
yeh people dislike me for various reasons stalking is terrible for the victim but its a mental illness centred around rejection IM not excusing hurting the victim
if you haven't begun clean a psychologist start now
I have and it's helped me. I still see my psychiatrist who prescribes my medication though. I also have major depressive disorder.
 
When I was younger, I was very violent and had a crazy temper on me. So I spent years having people avoid me because they were afraid of me. Eventually though, I realised that I was the one with the problem, so I started helping people and being polite to them and now I'm well respected by everyone I know, even the people who I've hurt in the past. So it's just a matter of proving to people that you've changed.
You're right, it maybe hard, but I have to show that I've changed or I can make new friends altogether lol.
 
To the women on this board though, I'm so sorry for stalking like I did in the past. I don't want the women on this board to be afraid of me.
 
no i just remembered a bbc reporter Jill dando who was murdered by a stalker
To the women on this board though, I'm so sorry for stalking like I did in the past. I don't want the women on this board to be afraid of me.
 
Yea, it was just a stupid middle school thing I did to this one girl. I look back at it today and say to myself, "man what a stupid idiot I was"
 
sorry correction my memory is really bad now didactic is a thing of the past
Jill dando is thought to have been murdered by a professional assassin
her stalker was falsely accused
 
I decided I'm not going to move either way, I mean these were people in middle school, I had friends in high school and besides this is the town I was born in,they can think whatever they want.
It sounds like you are reliving moments. Its something I do and it brings you back to it as if you were in the present. Its jarring. When its something that brings me shame, even if it happened when I was 13, and I'm 57 now, I relive it and experience the emotional discomfort. You're ok. Don't move. Teen agers act on their impulses. You're not a teen any more.
 
You know what I wish? I wish their was some type of device that would wipe away memories of the past.
 
you have no idea how frightening it is to lose memories IM older than you and my memory is damaged being blank is horrifying
You know what I wish? I wish their was some type of device that would wipe away memories of the past.
 
Yes, the sad thing is I would do anything for my friends and family, I would give my kidney or liver if I had to save their lives. They just don't know how good of a friend I could be. :(
 

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