I feel hurt when my ex-girlfriend calls me "Stupid" for being severely learning disabled.

[Oz67]

Thanks

 

[jsilver256]

It's a good thing you learned that your ex has this. Most (maybe all) people with this are in the "impossible to live with" category.

Maybe I'm naive, but I believe personality disorders have nothing to do with willingness to change and grow as a human being. Everyone is a broken, hurting human on the inside, and it's a shame that some disorders get so stigmatized whereas others like autism or DID get a bunch of Tiktok addicts wanting it.

But yes. It doesn't sound like OP's girlfriend was willing to change that. Mental illnesses combined with an inability to take them seriously and change are a toxic trait.

 

[Hypnalis]

@jsilver256

Members of the "Dark Triad" and "Cluster B" aren't 100% bad, but what I said is true: almost all of them cause significant harm to the rest of us. This isn't stigmatizing: it's facts.

The members of those groups who aren't problematic are almost exclusively the ones who have chosen to take therapy seriously, and actively work on themselves. This makes a huge difference to the amount of harm they do to people around them compared to those who refuse to change.

I have a lot of respect for them, because it's not an easy path, and the net positive effect on society is significant.

A couple of minor points:

1. There are certainly people who are broken and hurting, and I'd expect them to be over-represented among ASDs.
But it's by no means everyone. Well under half. And the growth in those numbers as time passes, while real, is affected by factors like
* Lowering the threshold for defining some issues and behaviors as illnesses
* Normalization of behaviors that are harmful to the people who choose to engage in them. I doubt society has ever been more accepting of self-harm than it is today.

2. People are diagnosed with ASPD because of their behavior. It's not based on their being capable of those things - it's actually doing bad things.
For example it's possible to measure (via brain scan I think) something that almost all psychopaths have. But less then 10% of those people actually behave in anti-social ways. So of course the 90% don't (and OFC shouldn't) get diagnosed.

BTW - by no means all of the Dark Triad or Cluster B disorders can be measured with tech like brain scans.
There's a guy named James Fallon in the 90% with an interesting story to tell (several videos on YouTube).

 

[Oz67]

You guys made some good points.

I also have a milder symptoms of a personality disorder, but I am willing to change myself, take antipsychotics, and go to therapy and support groups as well.

 

[Oz67]

It may take a few years for me to change as personality disorders are life-long mental disorders, I am sorry if it may take me a long time to change.

I feel bad, I am sorry

 

[jsilver256]

It may take a few years for me to change as personality disorders are life-long mental disorders, I am sorry if it may take me a long time to change.

I feel bad, I am sorry

There is nothing to apologize for.

We all have burdens to bear, all have our own shortcomings. Maybe yours is more "visible." But the fact that you are growing and learning, makes you a better person than many who have no disorders or illnesses.

 

[Oz67]

There is nothing to apologize for.

We all have burdens to bear, all have our own shortcomings. Maybe yours is more "visible." But the fact that you are growing and learning, makes you a better person than many who have no disorders or illnesses.

Thanks

 

[Oz67]

WARNING: OFFENSIVE AND OUTDATED CLINICAL TERMINOLOGIES

After my former girlfriend told me that it's my fault that I am severely learning disabled, that is when I become severely depressed and had terrible voices in my head, mild hallucinations telling me that I am "Worthless", "Stupid", "Loser", "An idiot", "A retard", "Retarded", "You deserve to die or question your worth living", "It's all your fault for being autistic and developmentally delayed", "Its your fault for being delusional or psychotic, and for having severe derealization and Cotard Syndrome, and it's your fault for having Fregoli delusion from early childhood until late teens closer to adulthood."