I don't know what to do?

[Frostee]

Hey, Well I have aspergers syndrome and I am coming 17.
I am currently in Sixth form and we are having our school formal at the end of November. I asked a girl to it and quite frankly I am regreting it.
She and her friend have started acting weird around me, this is a major mistake. People have asked her questions on Ask.fm and her responses have really really hurt me.

For example,

so why are you going to the formal with that one? as a date or ''friends'' ?

Not answering this.

the only reason you get so many questions on ask.fm is cos of "x", and your other man friends, yes?

Friends? What?

That really, really hurt me. I did think we were friends but obviously not. I knew that she wasn't a proper friend but I did not expect her to do that. I really am not good for interactions like a formal. Never been before.
Already, people are talking about getting drunk. This, is really worrying me. I don't want to be around drunk teenagers as I am scared of what they would do. I don't want to do a dance, i'm crap at dancing.
Also, people are thinking that I fancy her which is angering me because I don't. She seems to think that shes doing me a favour when in actual fact nobody would ask her besides me and she really isn't that nice looking. My mum is making me get her mum chocolates and I have to go up to her house. That is daunting in itself.
I don't know whether to not go or to go with her? I need a few days to decide. I'm thinking of not going to the formal at all.


I would also like to talk about my family and as.
Well, I only got diagnosed like 6 months ago- it went unnoticed. My mum is a complete wreck, she does not know how to act and she, if i'm being honest makes it worse for me. Anytime, I have something that I want to talk about she blames it all on me and starts shouting and screaming and saying that i'm misinterpreting it. Anytime, theres a joke and I don't laugh at it my mum tells everyone that I don't get it, its really embaressing and quite hurtful. For me, to laugh at a joke it has to be really funny, i have a really really mature sense of humour for my age.
She treats me like i'm 12 or something, when in actual fact I am very mature for my age group. I told her not to tell anyone about it but she went ahead behind my back and told all of her family and told my sister and everything, she thinks shes doing the right thing for me. But, no shes not, I don't want anyone to know because they treat me differently and I don't want to be treated differently, alot of people don't know what AS is and they think its one of those things that mentally challenged people have and they start talking to me like i'm a retard. She won't listen to me and is making all of the decisions for me, when I am mature enough to make them myself. Anytime, there is a row between my sister and me she says to my sister "you know he has a condition stop that", as if i'm some sort of retard. I know shes doing her best, but really shes not listening to me and doesn't know how to work with the situation. Her going mad when i'm sad dosn't help either.

 

[Pella]

It doesn't sound like the dance would be much fun for you, and that's what they are supposed to be. I would say don't go if you aren't gonna have fun. The only reason I would see to go, would be to practice the social interaction, but really you have other opportunities for that being that you are in school. As far as your mom goes, I think the best thing is for her to do the research, she may also join an online support group to address her concerns with others who have asperger's or those who have family with asperger's. The more she learns about it and talks to others going through the same thing, she will realize what your limitations actually are, and that having asperger's isn't all bad. It can be difficult, but that doesn't mean you can't have a fullfilling life. And finding out at this stage in your life is good, you can work on practicing your social skills, but at the same time learn where its ok to take a step back and not force yourself to do something you can't handle. Also, society has this way of trying to force certain ideals on us, when we would be better off just being ourselves. We tend to be very honest, we try very hard to keep our promises, we can be rather idealistic, we can be very passionate about the things that interest us. These are all good things, but when we try so hard to fit in, these things can be critizized and we end up losing some of ourselves.

 

[Frostee]

It doesn't sound like the dance would be much fun for you, and that's what they are supposed to be. I would say don't go if you aren't gonna have fun. The only reason I would see to go, would be to practice the social interaction, but really you have other opportunities for that being that you are in school. As far as your mom goes, I think the best thing is for her to do the research, she may also join an online support group to address her concerns with others who have asperger's or those who have family with asperger's. The more she learns about it and talks to others going through the same thing, she will realize what your limitations actually are, and that having asperger's isn't all bad. It can be difficult, but that doesn't mean you can't have a fullfilling life. And finding out at this stage in your life is good, you can work on practicing your social skills, but at the same time learn where its ok to take a step back and not force yourself to do something you can't handle. Also, society has this way of trying to force certain ideals on us, when we would be better off just being ourselves. We tend to be very honest, we try very hard to keep our promises, we can be rather idealistic, we can be very passionate about the things that interest us. These are all good things, but when we try so hard to fit in, these things can be critizized and we end up losing some of ourselves.

Thank you I will take your ideas into consideration.