sararini
Active Member
(I'm posting this on behalf of my boyfriend, who can't create an account for personal reasons.)
I am a guy with mid level aspergers. I can socialize with people that I know and am comfortable with but can't communicate well if the conversation involves personal values, personal feelings and beliefs. If the conversation were to lead into a personal views I would have a lot of difficulties, and I would leave or not pay attention to that conversation. I have this beautiful girlfriend that I'm very much in love with, and in my relationship with her, I have to be emotionally involved. For me to be emotionally involved with her, I have to put in 100 percent, which is VERY DIFFICULT. And she tells me that I shouldn't put 100 percent, because she says that's being too clingy. But it's difficult for me to take away a percentage from 100. I don't know how to do that. I discussed this problem with my doctor and she said that I need to look at this relationship differently, and I tried. But that's apparently me being cold and distant. I've had multiple relationships that ended badly, probably because of me being too distant and not attached. I don't want my girlfriend to break up with me, even though she says "she won't break up with me" and I understand it's a problem to be too clingy or too distant. I don't know how to be in between the two, and I can't describe to her that for me to be affectionate, I have to be clingy. I don't know how to separate the two. And I very much love her. Any help or advice would be appreciated, preferably from other people with aspergers in relationships.
I am a guy with mid level aspergers. I can socialize with people that I know and am comfortable with but can't communicate well if the conversation involves personal values, personal feelings and beliefs. If the conversation were to lead into a personal views I would have a lot of difficulties, and I would leave or not pay attention to that conversation. I have this beautiful girlfriend that I'm very much in love with, and in my relationship with her, I have to be emotionally involved. For me to be emotionally involved with her, I have to put in 100 percent, which is VERY DIFFICULT. And she tells me that I shouldn't put 100 percent, because she says that's being too clingy. But it's difficult for me to take away a percentage from 100. I don't know how to do that. I discussed this problem with my doctor and she said that I need to look at this relationship differently, and I tried. But that's apparently me being cold and distant. I've had multiple relationships that ended badly, probably because of me being too distant and not attached. I don't want my girlfriend to break up with me, even though she says "she won't break up with me" and I understand it's a problem to be too clingy or too distant. I don't know how to be in between the two, and I can't describe to her that for me to be affectionate, I have to be clingy. I don't know how to separate the two. And I very much love her. Any help or advice would be appreciated, preferably from other people with aspergers in relationships.
