How You Feel About Forums

[are]

How has people's experience been posting in this or other forums?
Do you or did you struggle with posting here as a social activity?

Personally, I have the same thoughts about getting it wrong or offending people just less because I analytically know it's more tolerant.
I know I do just fine if i like make a whole persona say on Quora. But I don't know how to be vulnerable and comfortable very well.

 

[Grondhammar]

This is a good question, had to think about it for a little while.

Online, I tend to share much more and feel little or none of the social anxiety that pervades my IRL life. I think at its core this is because of the anonymity of the internet, which enables me to tailor my (online) experience to be supportive and kind.

If a group/site/person online is hurtful, I say to myself, "ok, this is getting awful, block people/delete account". Do an evening or two of self-care. Move on. IRL, it can take days/weeks/years to get out of a hurtful environment or relationship (and sometimes due to golden/emotional handcuffs you never can). So you end up with psychological trauma that you have to work VERY hard to overcome (if it stops) or compensate for (if it doesn't).

Online is so much more manageable.

 

[UFO]

Online is nice. No commitments to friendships, or to any kind of more comprehensive social activity. I mostly prefer to be informative rather than social, so discussion forum format beats chat-systems (like Discord).

I have less fears of being rude, or otherwise improper, or just plain stupid sounding as I have plenty of time to think and refine what I am saying. Just like Grondhammar said, if something goes wrong, I can cut myself, or someone else, off immediately. In real life I might have to keep seeing and working with an another person I have offended (or who has offended me).

Also, in live conversations I mix up words easily, use wrong terms for wrong concepts and so on. This happens if I try to be informative (ie. talk about serious, important and/or technical matters, knowing that accuracy of concepts is important) while small talk does not cause any communication problems (as it does not matter what I say). Tragedy is that informative talk is something I really love, but small talk is something I really hate...

 

[Misery]

Depends on the forums.

I've been doing this for a long time. My first forums were decades ago.

What forums are now is a far cry from what they used to be.

Used to love forums overall. For all sorts of reasons. Now though, this site is the only one left as far as I'm concerned. All the others were eaten by Reddit and social media.

I dont interact online very much anymore. I'm actually most active over on Steam, but even there, you gotta pry me out from whatever rock I'm hiding under before I'll talk.

Whole bloody internet aint what it used to be, bah.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go shake my fist at a cloud or something.

 

[Grondhammar]

Also, in live conversations I mix up words easily, use wrong terms for wrong concepts and so on.

This is a really good point and one I totally skipped. Asynchronous communication is the best, because I can spend five minutes crafting a sentence and considering all the different angles. Also, so often, I'll type something and then realise I should have prefaced it with background, etc. Live (RL, phone, Discord, etc), that's impossible.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Joined a few forums in the past, thIs is basically the only one worth while. Occasionally go on profesional forum for solving coating issues,

 

[RemyZee]

I find in forums it is much easier to keep up with what is going on--similar to others, during regular conversations I easily get lost, miss words or ideas, and am unable to follow what is happening socially. I don't have the social anxiety online, and can give myself time to respond and think about things before acting. I find it is freeing, after a lifetime of "getting it wrong" socially, I can be things like funny and extroverted online, while I can't face to face.

 

[Kitsuna]

How has people's experience been posting in this or other forums?
Do you or did you struggle with posting here as a social activity?

Personally, I have the same thoughts about getting it wrong or offending people just less because I analytically know it's more tolerant.
I know I do just fine if i like make a whole persona say on Quora. But I don't know how to be vulnerable and comfortable very well.

In terms of support forums like AF, I’ve gotten a lot of help. There’s been things I’ve figured out about myself here that I’m not sure would have happened elsewhere. It also often is a lifeline for me if I’m feeling isolated IRL.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I posted for a while on a tractor restoration forum in the painting section some guy body shop person did not like a guy like me giving advice, So I left, think other members liked what I contributed. I could really help car guys too not worth it. When working I would give advice to the job shops on a long standing finishing forum. The owner of the site an Engineer liked my contributions, one of his expert contributors.

 

[are]

This is a good question, had to think about it for a little while.

Online, I tend to share much more and feel little or none of the social anxiety that pervades my IRL life. I think at its core this is because of the anonymity of the internet, which enables me to tailor my (online) experience to be supportive and kind.

If a group/site/person online is hurtful, I say to myself, "ok, this is getting awful, block people/delete account". Do an evening or two of self-care. Move on. IRL, it can take days/weeks/years to get out of a hurtful environment or relationship (and sometimes due to golden/emotional handcuffs you never can). So you end up with psychological trauma that you have to work VERY hard to overcome (if it stops) or compensate for (if it doesn't).

Online is so much more manageable.

That's true though. And worst case scenario you can just stop posting or not even check replies.
I have trouble with real life danger because my anger or self-preservation just doesn't fire in the moment.
Like someone might even get violent and i'm like trying to remember what to do. or they're like stealing stuff. and i'm like hi why are you loading my items into a bad. but online it's like i can sit there and think and say. oh they're being abusive. and block them. but people irl will just hang around. and it's like ummmmmm. what now?

Depends on the forums.

I've been doing this for a long time. My first forums were decades ago.

What forums are now is a far cry from what they used to be.

Used to love forums overall. For all sorts of reasons. Now though, this site is the only one left as far as I'm concerned. All the others were eaten by Reddit and social media.

I dont interact online very much anymore. I'm actually most active over on Steam, but even there, you gotta pry me out from whatever rock I'm hiding under before I'll talk.

Whole bloody internet aint what it used to be, bah.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go shake my fist at a cloud or something.

and yeah the internet is so toxic it's like you just have to block like half the people who reach out.
i understand why you don't hang out online. i had a similar worlds account and it was just so toxic i just got constant messages of people's body parts i didn't want to see.
did you do usenet?

 

[Shamar]

How has people's experience been posting in this or other forums?
Do you or did you struggle with posting here as a social activity?

Personally, I have the same thoughts about getting it wrong or offending people just less because I analytically know it's more tolerant.
I know I do just fine if i like make a whole persona say on Quora. But I don't know how to be vulnerable and comfortable very well.

Some forums are good, some are bad, far too many are pathetic or hostile. This is one of the better ones. If it wasn't, I would not be here. We are generally supportive and tolerant here. A lot of my posts are cynical or sarcastic. Many times I have something relevant that needs to be said or somebody says something that resonates with me. I do not usually socialize, as I understand the term, but this forum is a close to being social as I get. The members of this forum are as close to having friends as I have ever gotten in my life, and I appreciate it.

In summary, be yourself and don't be afraid to post.

 

[Misery]

and yeah the internet is so toxic it's like you just have to block like half the people who reach out.
i understand why you don't hang out online.

The frustrating part is that I used to hang out online all the time. AIM, mostly, sometimes Yahoo messenger, and a lot of forum use. A lot of important events in my life were triggered / enabled through the interactions I had online and the people I met. I knew a lot of different people for a long time, a really long time, until AIM collapsed. That one still hurts even years later.

And now that's been reduced to... not much. I tend to have a lot of "presence" in the places I do interact with... primarily Steam these days... so people come find me pretty often. But I'm usually in "invisible" mode most of the time.

The other reason though why I dont interact much online is because what often happens is that I'll say things, and then everyone is screaming at each other and stuff is on fire. Better to just not talk so nothing explodes.

These days, what keeps me connected to the Net at all is mostly Neocities. I dont remember how I found that, but I'm glad I did. And of course Steam.

I guess Youtube also, but that site is like... corroded at this point. Not exactly enjoying it anymore, I dont know why I even go there now.

did you do usenet?

No, I wouldnt have any use for it.

 

[Outdated]

I prefer the Forum format because there's no demand (usually) for instant responses. It's a much more relaxed environment for conversations. That doesn't mean all forums are good though, even back in the 90s there were quite a few with very toxic communities.

As informational resources they're fantastic, you don't have to be a member or be logged in to read through them and research anything you're interested in.

did you do usenet?

I'm the only person I know that still uses NNTP.

I rarely ever post anything there though, for me alt.binaries is a fantastic repository of novels and I'm a very avid reader. Astraweb has 10 years of retention for binary posts so there's a lot there.

 

[are]

The frustrating part is that I used to hang out online all the time. AIM, mostly, sometimes Yahoo messenger, and a lot of forum use. A lot of important events in my life were triggered / enabled through the interactions I had online and the people I met. I knew a lot of different people for a long time, a really long time, until AIM collapsed. That one still hurts even years later.

And now that's been reduced to... not much. I tend to have a lot of "presence" in the places I do interact with... primarily Steam these days... so people come find me pretty often. But I'm usually in "invisible" mode most of the time.

The other reason though why I dont interact much online is because what often happens is that I'll say things, and then everyone is screaming at each other and stuff is on fire. Better to just not talk so nothing explodes.

These days, what keeps me connected to the Net at all is mostly Neocities. I dont remember how I found that, but I'm glad I did. And of course Steam.

I guess Youtube also, but that site is like... corroded at this point. Not exactly enjoying it anymore, I dont know why I even go there now.



No, I wouldnt have any use for it.

AWWWWW AIM!
I loved aim. I had this systems where i would network to everyone my age in the city. and had 3 accounts because of the buddy limit. that was so much better than social media.

"the interactions I had online and the people I me"
yeah me too. i present so weird in person i feel like until i know you. and that worked when i was that age.

Youtube comments are oh my god so hostile.

 

[Misery]

Youtube comments are oh my god so hostile.

Not to mention pointless. Half the time it's like just shouting into the wind.

Like, why even bother?

At this point, I use a browser extension called Unhook that just removes like 75% of the site's functionality. The comment sections are usually gone for me.

Every now and then I get that urge like "well maybe just a quick look" and then usually after that is a feeling like I need to go take a shower after seeing what's in there.

Even without that though the whole site is just so hostile and nasty recently. Everything is rage and hate and bigotry and of course the zillions of videos that are just wild flashing colors to hold someone's 15 seconds of attention span.

It's harder and harder to find anything worth watching. My subscriptions list continuously grows ever smaller. It's depressing to see a channel I once loved suddenly go down the dark side of engagement bait.

Just... ugh.

Ya know, awhile back I realized that a lot of my internet use these days isnt even really about whatever content I'm looking at. It's really me chasing the ghost of AIM. Admitting that to myself was not easy.

I miss everyone from there so much. I even met some of them in person. Now it's all gone.

 

[are]

wild flashing colors to hold someone's 15 seconds of attention span.

This is youtube [see attached]. Something about this thumbnail is just maddening.

some explainers i like. i'm into geopolitics so i'll watch something on nuclear deterrence theory or the like. but politics proper is just cancer.

 

[Outdated]

This is youtube [see attached]. Something about this thumbnail is just maddening.

I have never yet seen one of his videos and never will. Just the range of topics I've seen in his titles puts me right off. It's exactly the sort of click bait junk that promotes extremist thinking and polarisation of communities.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

It’s one of the few ways I interact with others.

 

[Misery]

I have never yet seen one of his videos and never will. Just the range of topics I've seen in his titles puts me right off. It's exactly the sort of click bait junk that promotes extremist thinking and polarisation of communities.

As far as I can tell, the actual end result of pretty much all of them is to funnel stupid kids into buying branded nonsense.

Which is pretty bad, but there's much, much worse of that sort of thing elsewhere on that site.

A rabbit hole best avoided.

 

[Metalhead]

Forums are all well and good as long as they do not turn into echo chambers that reinforce unhealthy lines of thinking. This forum is pretty far from that.

I do think I need to spend less time online and more time socializing face to face.