How to stop anxiety?

[unsurewhattoname]

I'm not sure if I have a diagnosis of any anxiety disorder (my diagnostic report, while mentioning anxiety, didn't give any clues if I have a legitimate disorder or whether I can just get over it) but whatever the situation is it's annoying and nobody will hire me because I fail interviews. So how do I get it to stop? I'm sick of it and want it to go away. Input appreciated.

 

[Kouryuu]

I dont think there is one particular thing you can do to get rid of it. Even if you find a way to manage it, it will always exist.

What helps me is positive thinking. Understand that anxiety isn't bad, it is making sure you focus and try your best. Thinking "I really want to succeed, I've got this" instead of "I'm so nervous" helps me. Focusing on what I can do rather than what I cant do also helps me.
Another thing, power stances. I know it sounds stupid but I found it really helps me feel confident. I found faking it also helps. Practice, prepare, take a deep breath and smile big.

I believe if you really want to overcome, you will. Keep searching, keep learning and it will click one day. It's what happened to me. I rejected all help and thought everything people said to help was so stupid. Today I am so much better.

Good luck .

 

[unsurewhattoname]

How is it not bad being physically unable to speak and managing to get out only a shaking whimper rather than, you know, words? It's been here my entire life and is pissing me off. I want to work not be this stupid mess. No matter how confident, no matter what I do, it won't stop.

 

[Kouryuu]

I can get like that with people I dont know. I've had job interviews where I just cant answer some questions they ask and mumble random words. Even in practice interviews I just get so tongue tied and give up answering questions.
That's anxiety winning. I dont know what's causing it for you.
I should have said 'a little/moderate amount of anxiety is good'. Crippling anxiety is ofcourse bad.
It's really hard to describe. I'm no good with my words!

 

[unsurewhattoname]

I don't think I have an anxiety disorder so that means this is only a little anxiety right? Whatever it is - is there a cure, or is it with you for life like autism? I wish both had cures, I want work.

 

[Judge]

Anxiety is generally treated with a number of medications. They won't make the condition disappear, but it may reduce whatever symptoms are brought on. I took such meds for a number of years and came to the conclusion that as beta-blockers they "dulled" me to the extent that I was whatever personality I had left. So I stopped taking them.

Not too long ago I discovered that the medication I had used was taken off the market some time ago. It causes irregular heartbeat issues which I do have.

It's great if one can find the right medication to alleviate such symptoms. It's also hell if you have to go through many just to find that right one. If of course you actually find it. There are no guarantees. And virtually any medication carries both advantages and disadvantages. But in the instance of a job interview....or something temporary where I knew it would cause extreme anxiety and stress, it was nice to have that medication to calm me down and subdue my symptoms for a short time. But for me over time "the cure became worse than the disease".

 

[Kouryuu]

You dont have to have some grand name to have a lot of anxiety. I dont know what the cause is for you, maybe you need medication or maybe you can learn to cope better. Either way it will be with you for life. Even people who seemingly 'have no anxiety/fear' have it. It's chemicals in your brain and your brain thinks you need it.

Another thing that helps me is either knowing that everyone else is anxious or knowing that I should be feeling anxious in a situation.

Really though, I can only offer my own experience and things that I have read that have helped me.

 

[unsurewhattoname]

If everyone has it then why is it a diagnosis in the first place?

And without a diagnosis talking about it does make me feel like a hypochondriac self diagnoser or something and I don't want to do that.

 

[Judge]

If everyone has it then why is it a diagnosis in the first place?

And without a diagnosis talking about it does make me feel like a hypochondriac self diagnoser or something and I don't want to do that.

I think that really depends on the context when speaking of anxiety. Anyone regardless of their neurological profile technically can have some kind of anxiety to some degree.

However in this particular forum, types of anxiety we often discuss are apt to be comorbid to Autism Spectrum Disorder. Which may or may not reflect more extreme and debilitating forms of anxiety.

Though keep in mind comorbids and types of anxieties aren't the same either for every person on the spectrum of autism. For myself, social anxiety has always made the job interview somewhere between arduous and a nightmare. Once I'm hired I can adjust to become a productive employee. But just getting the job is always difficult for me.

 

[Kouryuu]

If everyone has it then why is it a diagnosis in the first place?

Anxiety has a scale. It can be a tiny thing that you barely think of or it can completely shut you down. Then it depends on how often it affects you. I dont know the details ^^.

 

[MEDL86]

I'm not sure if I have a diagnosis of any anxiety disorder (my diagnostic report, while mentioning anxiety, didn't give any clues if I have a legitimate disorder or whether I can just get over it) but whatever the situation is it's annoying and nobody will hire me because I fail interviews. So how do I get it to stop? I'm sick of it and want it to go away. Input appreciated.

In my experience (as someone who has been diagnosed with anxiety disorder), there's no good way to make it stop, it's just a matter of getting yourself through an anxiety attack when they happen.

I good method that works for me is to take 10 seconds, stop everything that I'm doing, including moving, and breathe slowly. In through the nose, out through the mouth, best when eyes are closed. That's about the only thing that works for me, personally, and when I have an anxiety attack, I get physically sick as a result. It's not fun.

 

[Mia]

Cognitive self help therapy: http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/cbtstep1.htm

 

[Judge]

In my experience (as someone who has been diagnosed with anxiety disorder), there's no good way to make it stop, it's just a matter of getting yourself through an anxiety attack when they happen.

In my own case I'd simply have to wait to actually feel my body temperature drop...where my cold sweat would subside. Then I began to feel some relief.

It's an awful thing. Just glad it doesn't happen much anymore.

 

[Spiller]

Another thing, power stances. I know it sounds stupid but I found it really helps me feel confident.

Kouryuu, What are power stances?

I was given this CBT workbook http://www.amazon.co.uk/Thrive-The-Programme-Rob-Kelly-ebook/dp/B009GI40VW about 18 months ago, read it, worked through it.. and now refer to it when I need to.
It has taught me to be aware to a much greater degree of my own thoughts - especially those that are telling me that I won't be able to do this, or I can't go there, because I'm too anxious, can't cope.

I've learned about a self perpetuating cycle of anxiety causing restrictive thinking and behavior and so further anxiety..

With effort and practice I can break the cycle, examine that thought, determine if it's rational or a product of my anxiety and act in a more determined manner, proving to myself through my actions that the fear is unfounded and so increasing my own confidence.

I'm not going to say it's easy as it takes constant effort, but it is rewarding.
I'm still not where I want to be - not back at work yet, but I can leave the house now, can talk to people without worrying about what they think of me.
.. Actually I do still worry about that - but then I stamp on that thought, kill it. I can't possibly know what others are thinking, so I'll assume they're not thinking anything until they clearly indicate otherwise.

It is a lot of work, but changing a whole lifetime of limiting beliefs isn't going to be easy.

 

[Kouryuu]

Kouryuu, What are power stances?

If you have a spare 20mins I would recommend watching:

If not, then it is basically a way to trick your brain into feeling better or more confident. You stand in a an open, confident way for a minute or two and it's meant to trick your brain into producing hormones that make you feel more confident and in control.
It helped me, might help others too.

 

[MEDL86]

If you have a spare 20mins I would recommend watching:

If not, then it is basically a way to trick your brain into feeling better or more confident. You stand in a an open, confident way for a minute or two and it's meant to trick your brain into producing hormones that make you feel more confident and in control.
It helped me, might help others too.

I learned something similar when I was taking self-defense classes (for better control, not just for self defense), it was basically introduced as "stand like you mean it" lol. It helped me quite a bit. I also noticed back then that I could improve my focus in much the same way, though I don't have a good place I can meditate anymore (which was my personal method).

 

[watersprite]

If everyone has it then why is it a diagnosis in the first place?

And without a diagnosis talking about it does make me feel like a hypochondriac self diagnoser or something and I don't want to do that.

Valid feelings. It is good you see this about yourself.
But, while you go around and round in your head like this, you will not go forward to a decision as to what to do about it.
I also have anxiety, and was diagnosed with it (and Asperger's and NVLD) by a neuropsych.
I choose the situations to avoid when necessary. For example, loud crowded restsurants. For necessary evils such as interviews, I carefully prepare myself by regular aerobic exercise, write a script of answers and possible statements which might be needed, and eating little to no sugar and very healthy foods. It may not be fun but it is better than the crippling anxiety and self denegration which resulted previously.

 

[On the Inside]

If everyone has it then why is it a diagnosis in the first place?

Everyone feels anxious from time to time, but not everyone has anxiety to the degree it limits or diminishes their quality of life. As Judge stated, here in Aspie-land, there is a lot of anxiety and some of us have anxiety disorder as a co-morbid. I do and have known that it has negatively effected my life since I was about 10. What has worked for me long-term is regular exercise, good diet, meditation, having something that I enjoy doing, get good at it, and doing it as much as possible. Mindful meditation has helped me a lot in the past, but my life has changed considerably and I am unable to do it to the level that was "therapeutic" for me, so I have tried therapy; Cognitive Behavior Therapy in particular, helped with my negative thought patterns. I have recently started medication which has helped, I hope that will only be short term while I deal with some difficult life situations. I am sleeping much better than I ever have and that has been very beneficial.

I wish I could avoid sugar and caffeine (tea and coffee), but I like them too much to do away with them completely, even though I know they exacerbate the condition. I also wish I could avoid aggressive, controlling people, which is mostly possible, but not entirely avoidable.

Best of luck to you.

 

[unsurewhattoname]

Sorry if you mentioned it and I missed it, but are you ADD/ADHD?

Nope, no ADD/ADHD.

 

[unsurewhattoname]

Valid feelings. It is good you see this about yourself.
But, while you go around and round in your head like this, you will not go forward to a decision as to what to do about it.
I also have anxiety, and was diagnosed with it (and Asperger's and NVLD) by a neuropsych.
I choose the situations to avoid when necessary. For example, loud crowded restsurants. For necessary evils such as interviews, I carefully prepare myself by regular aerobic exercise, write a script of answers and possible statements which might be needed, and eating little to no sugar and very healthy foods. It may not be fun but it is better than the crippling anxiety and self denegration which resulted previously.

You're definitely right about not making a decision, I'm very indecisive.

What's weird is it wasn't how I thought an interview would be so I got thrown off, and I didn't even know it was an interview - my mum said it wouldn't be, so I was ok. Then it turned out it was, so I imagined me on one side of a desk and 2/3 on the other and they'd ask questions. But it turns out there was a group of like 20 of us and we didn't even get interviewed - just observed doing team exercises I think, so I was thrown off again.

I don't have any caffeine, I have barely any sugar, and I eat fairly healthily. I sleep normally, eat normally.