How to deal with obsessions due to separation?

[Peeta]

I'm currently in an LDR. Married and waiting for my green card to be approved. The process is taking 'longer than expected'. Aka migrations said it would take 5 months, but obviously with any governmental organisation I'm not in month 7. Still no end in sight too. During the process I'm not allowed to travel to the US to see my husband and my husband had to spend all his free days for the year on our wedding in my country. So either the year turns and he gets new vacation days or the green card goes through, whatever comes first, but it will be months before we see each other.

In general I'm holding on, but I've noticed something about myself. Normally I obsess about a show or a game or a book. Now my obsessions seem to latch onto characters that I assume vaguely remind me of him. It's starting to annoy me beyond belief. It's not like thinking about him is going to make me less sad. And the obsessions are strong this time, I can't seem to get them to back off. Anybody have something similar, despite it being weird? Any tips on how to deal with these weird obsessions? My normal tactics don't seem to be helping.

 

[clg114]

I'm currently in an LDR. Married and waiting for my green card to be approved. The process is taking 'longer than expected'. Aka migrations said it would take 5 months, but obviously with any governmental organisation I'm not in month 7. Still no end in sight too. During the process I'm not allowed to travel to the US to see my husband and my husband had to spend all his free days for the year on our wedding in my country. So either the year turns and he gets new vacation days or the green card goes through, whatever comes first, but it will be months before we see each other.

In general I'm holding on, but I've noticed something about myself. Normally I obsess about a show or a game or a book. Now my obsessions seem to latch onto characters that I assume vaguely remind him of me. It's starting to annoy me beyond belief. It's not like thinking about him is going to make me less sad. And the obsessions are strong this time, I can't seem to get them to back off. Anybody have something similar, despite it being weird? Any tips on how to deal with these weird obsessions? My normal tactics don't seem to be helping.

I do not think that they are weird obsessions. I think that they are reactions to being separated from someone that you love.

 

[Peeta]

Yeah they are. It's kind of a new experience. Normally it's not taking this long to see him again. We're setting a new record and I'm not enjoying it.

 

[Trellekrona]

I have been in a LDR for about six years, three of which Europe-US and the last three Europe-Europe (much better).
I did not have issues with the same type of obsessions that you are experiencing, but I did have a lot of abandonement issues: until I knew the dates of our next week(s) together, I would really fear for the relation (in a completely irrational way, since all was OK) and feel miserable.
What I would do, during those periods when everything was unknown (and yes, we would also sometimes set new "records") was to try to talk frequently about when we would meet, like you do when you are planning a holiday or something nice. A few times, knowing in advance that we would meet for say a week (even without knowing which week) we would set up a google calendar and fill it with things that we wanted to do...
I think that writing down things helped to believe that they would happen (and indeed they always did) and would keep my anxiety away.
I don't know if this strategy would work for you, but you can try it out.
The mind plays strange tricks when things are very strained...
Best of luck with everything!

 

[Peeta]

Thank you for the suggestions, I am going to try that. I can relate with the fear of the relationship stranding when not knowing when we would meet again. Though now that we're married, at least those have left me.