How do you get through tough times

[RemyZee]

When things aren't easy, how do you deal and what gets you through it? What do you do to move yourself through hard times and sustain? And particularly if you know the situation that is making life hard isn't going to end? Especially with relationships and social matters, how do you handle adversity?

 

[Poppy98]

Usually by finding hope, often through the creation of a gameplan.


Also by thinking of everything as something of a videogame that you can learn to level up through.

And sometimes through any break I can get.

 

[FayetheADHDsquirrel]

My hope is in Jesus Christ. He is a firm foundation that I can depend on even when things are hard and scary and confusing and painful and uncertain.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

When things aren't easy, how do you deal and what gets you through it? What do you do to move yourself through hard times and sustain? And particularly if you know the situation that is making life hard isn't going to end? Especially with relationships and social matters, how do you handle adversity?

That is highly individualized. Each situation is different. Could you be more specific? What you are asking is a rather open question.

 

[Shevek]

I drink plenty of water, burn off adrenaline with exercise, and put a high priority on getting plenty of sleep if at all possible.

 

[RemyZee]

Specifically, I am most likely going to be fired in the next 2 weeks, from the best job I ever had. It will be the last of a long string of similar failures. Always about social things and, to a lesser degree, about executive functioning. I have never had a job more than 2 years--at times, the endings have been pseudo tragic...such as when I was escorted out of a job officeplace by the union president. Sometimes humiliating. I look back, and my life is a strand of efforts I have put my whole self into, only to watch it come falling down. I love to work: I love the challenge, the feeling of contributing something that represents who I am, of learning new skills and the excitement of doing something right. But again and again, I have been let go despite my best efforts...sometimes in ways that make me rather ashamed: in tears, or even yelling without realizing it. I tend to base my identity on the work I am doing, because I put myself into my jobs with all I have, but socially I do not have the innate ability other people do to figure out what to do when there is conflict, The first time I got fired was in my 20s. I've been fired from jobs as a thrift store worker, as a barista, as a hospital chaplain, as a case manager, as a bed and breakfast worker, even as a Methodist pastor...and on and on. I just can't sustain the social part. Executive functioning also plays a role, but it's not Painful. And then there is the aspect of dealing with the fallout, dealing with the finances, going back to vocational rehab, having to find new jobs where I have to start all over again. I am an enthusiastic person, so I tend to get excited about whatever I delve into....when I lose it, it can be pretty devastating. So, I guess I'm asking how people handle failure when it's something you really care about and have put your best efforts into it, but the failure still happens.

 

[Shevek]

I seldom had a steady job. Instead, I was self employed in various ways. Quite a bit of that was "working for myself" - doing things to save money.

 

[velociraptor]

When things aren't easy, how do you deal and what gets you through it? What do you do to move yourself through hard times and sustain? And particularly if you know the situation that is making life hard isn't going to end? Especially with relationships and social matters, how do you handle adversity?

One day at a time. Try to break the time into small blocks or the problems into small pieces to deal with them better.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

Despite very high education, enthusiasm and experience I never found a job that lasted more than two years until I started working for myself. I built a business that kept me and 5 other people employed for over 20 years.

About 3 years ago, I retired, losing that whole huge part of my identity, and then my husband left me which was the rest of my identity. I was in bad shape for a while.

Our jobs and our families do define us to a large extent. You have to separate out the who you are from your job. You are:

I love to work: I love the challenge, the feeling of contributing something that represents who I am, of learning new skills and the excitement of doing something right

That doesn’t change.

I get through by asking for support and help from as many sources as possible, concentrating on developing a plan and then implementing that plan, amending as needed. I grit my teeth. I tell myself I’ve gotten through everything else and I’ll get through this too.

 

[the_tortoise]

When things aren't easy, how do you deal and what gets you through it? What do you do to move yourself through hard times and sustain? And particularly if you know the situation that is making life hard isn't going to end? Especially with relationships and social matters, how do you handle adversity?

I do the best I can.

I refuse to blame myself for things I truly cannot change, that are also not my fault and not my choice.

I expect nothing, and keep my hopes usually very small. Sometimes, though, I let my dreams play out in my head...of safety, of bad things ending well.

I remember the people who have loved me and shown me kindness.

I give myself breaks from trying - to withdraw and be alone, stimming and focusing on small distractions, little things to distract myself

I let myself feel.

 

[Outdated]

I have never had a job more than 2 years...

I used to only last about 6 months at any one place but I quit and moved on instead of being sacked, I have a bit of a temper. It's the same story for so many of us, usually done in by our inability to cope with social hierarchy. I'm just so glad I live in a country with a decent welfare system because I would have really struggled without it. There were many times in my life when I had to just stop working and take a break for a few months.

An old Rodney Rude joke:

I once got sacked just because I smile a lot. I said "Fine, get yourself another funeral director."

 

[the_tortoise]

I have never had a job more than 2 years

Neither have I.

even yelling without realizing it

This has been an issue for me all my life. In all states of mind/moods, my voice is often too quiet or too loud...

When really upset, I usually get loud, and I often don't even realize it when I've crossed into shouting volume (unless I've done so on purpose - which is pretty rare).

The auditory feedback loop in my head is rather broken, and my severe proprioceptive hyposensitivity probably plays some part (since speaking/ whispering/ shouting involves a number of muscles).

 

[Judge]

You either give up, or persevere by pushing on. And having been raised in a military household, giving up wasn't an option.

To just blindly attempt to move forward despite whatever obstacles are in your way. My only excuse for still being here, going into my seventieth year. And now quite alone in the process.

Emotionally speaking, "it's a hard life". I can't kid my fellow autistic peers about that.