• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

how do you get a girlfriend?

One more bit of advice, I had a trip recently where I tried to force myself to understand/see enjoy all of it, instead of letting it flow natural and enjoy the event that was happening, I think that translates to some pretty well advice if you can't enjoy being around other people and being yourself you aren't going to be able to find a decent relationship. idk its just a rambling point but its hard to convey for me. :)
 
Make female friends. Female friends bring more females into your life, giving you a greater range to choose from. If you already have a female you are interested in dating, talk to her, if you are skilled at the use of innuendo, talk on that level to test the waters. I have found in the past the core message of (I like you and want to date you) is lost if you are not politely direct about what you are wanting from the female.
 
OP I don't know I've never had a girlfriend and it's the one thing I want more than anything in the world. I just want a connection with a special person who understands me, I understand them, someone who is my priority, someone who brightens up my day. It's the hardest thing in the world. And I also live in the middle of nowhere.
 
I can tell you from experience that it will probably happen when you least expect it . . . until I met my boyfriend, I thought my chances at finding someone were pretty slim. But I have the Internet to thank for helping me. :)
 
This is the million-dollar question for me as well. The thing is, I have a lot of friends who are girls. Perhaps even more than who are boys. But when I finally mustered up the courage to tell one of them I liked her, she said we were too close of friends to go out. This made me so confused, because I thought the closer a friend a girl was with you, the more likely she would become your girlfriend. There is a girl I kind of like right now; I'm currently in a play with her (I'm the lead role, and she is my sister, so we have a lot of stage interaction), and she seems to find me quite funny. And she says I'm very good at giving hugs :p. But I have no idea what to do next. And she is drop-dead gorgeous, while I have acne problems. So I'm really not sure what to do from here. I noticed people here saying to get to know her interests, but I feel like saying "So what do you like to do?" would make her suspicious. I don't know what to do...
 
buckyboy14 said:
This is the million-dollar question for me as well. The thing is, I have a lot of friends who are girls. Perhaps even more than who are boys. But when I finally mustered up the courage to tell one of them I liked her, she said we were too close of friends to go out. This made me so confused, because I thought the closer a friend a girl was with you, the more likely she would become your girlfriend.
Click to expand...
I can't say for sure what she meant because I don't know her. Two different people could say that and mean two different things.
but it could be that she knows that if a) she went out with someone she didn't know very well and didn't care very much about, then if it didn't work out, no big deal, it wouldn't matter or hurt too much but if b) she went out with someone she knew well and cared a lot about, then if it ended up not working out, it would be extremely painful.
That's why it's scary to think of dating someone you are close to.
One can be scared it would go badly and they'd end up losing not only their boyfriend but their close friend.
My best friend is a guy ( and I'm female). I've often had a fear that if things changed and he wanted to go out with me, a fear that then things would go badly and I would lose him not only as a boyfriend but also as a best friend.
 
I'll be hones, as an aspie it feels like I'll never find a good person who understands me. When I think of how I'm single it makes me wish I was normal and at least had a fighting chance.
 
Ste11aeres said:
I I've often had a fear that if things changed and he wanted to go out with me, a fear that then things would go badly and I would lose him not only as a boyfriend but also as a best friend.
Click to expand...

In the distant past that's what would happen to me almost like clockwork. Lost some very good friendships that way...
 
Bucky:

You might try inviting her out for a casual lunch, or perhaps just a coffee or something. Perhaps you could preface your questions about her with "I'd like to get to know you better." I'm sure you genuinely want to get to know her, so I don't think this would sound cheesy.

The other girl you mentioned who turned you down probably just never saw you as a potential date. It happens sometimes. Close friendship isn't a 100% indicator of whether someone will want to be more than friends. My first love? My best childhood friend. He just never had the same feelings I did. But my current boyfriend started as my friend, too . . . so it really comes down to the individual.

Don't give up, everyone! I've had moments of doubt too, but I found someone who cares about me. I believe you'll find someone who cares for you. :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom