How do you deal with anxiety

[thejuice]

I quite recently started taking Propranolol which is a beta blocker. It works fairly well for me. It took a long time for me to persuade anyone that the anxiety I had been experiencing for a long time had really gotten too much for me to cope with or distract myself from.

I think I have a similar problem describing what's going on in my head to others. I also have had people tell me that on the outside I don't "look" like I'm really struggling. I don't seem like I'm "displaying" the typical signs that I'm really struggling with anxiety. My family will often tell me to not appear so composed. I suppose it's a form of masking that's just become a reflex.

I think in the past this has meant that I didn't get the help I needed because the doctors etc think "well you don't look anxious...".

I would recommend perhaps taking a family member or someone else you trust with you to your appointment with the doctor to help you advocate for yourself if you have a similar issue with looking too calm on the surface. That's what I had to do myself to finally get help with my anxiety.

Until the anxiety became so overwhelming, my natural tendency to get super focused on projects or solving problems would just kick in and distract me from the anxiety. For some reason I started to struggle doing this. But still, when I can focus on something, it's still the best way to keep the anxiety at bay. So don't give up trying to do things that help distract from the anxiety and if you do get some beta blockers, try to use their effects as an opportunity to get focused on something that helps distract you from the anxiety.

I really hope that you feel better soon! Anxiety is absolutely awful.

I've had someone say the same, and also "you don't look like you're in pain." I think anxiety is probably under diagnosed in men, because we are generally less expressive. The only sign I show is a tightening in the throat and a slightly strained voice. Maybe a restless leg if it's really bad

 

[thejuice]

I think a lot of autistics do overthink empathy and believe they must consider everyone all the time. I only feel empathy emotionally as and when, and just like everyone else I can be selfish at times. But some autistics lecture when anyone acts selfish and gives them a lecture on empathy, which I find as annoying as how people feel when their spelling is corrected or something.

Empathy can be voyeuristic or even used for evil! It isn't actually a virtue in itself, unless you do something about it and not just 'talk the talk' on a forum. I'll take a lecture from Mother Theresa, but not from people who are all for updating their Facebook profile picture to the latest cause whilst being melded to the sofa. What you experience is self back slapping of the worst kind, with the real purpose of putting you down.

 

[Au Naturel]

Most of what we did as kids is horrifying to our grandchildren who are now becoming parents.
We had freedoms that our little greats cannot imagine. Mom would put us out on Saturday after breakfast and say don't come back til dinnertime. We had bikes and 18 kids on our block with the same freedoms, a poison-ivy-infested park at the end of the street, and many square miles to roam. All the mothers kept an eye on every other one, and whatever you did today, Mom knew before you got home and you might not have dinner after all.

It isn't safe in my city for children to play outside unsupervised, even in fenced backyard.
Makes me sad for them, their lives are so much smaller and narrower.

Pawpaw made a boat from a #3 washtub and tractor tire inner tube, put it in the creek behind their house, and floated 7 miles down to the river. He was 8 years old, gone all day, had a great time. His Dad knew but never told his Mom

The inner tube thing reminded me of my tweens and early teens. We lived on 80 acres, mostly forest. Some of it was abandoned field and orchard returning to a wild state. The properties surrounding us were no different. Given the lack of fencing, if you went far enough, you'd never know whose property you were on. A river ran through it, and there was an extremely faint game trail alongside it. I'd get an inner tube with a canvas cover and float downstream (naked, of course!) until almost where it was crossed by a bridge, which would be about a mile, then turn around and walk back to my clothes. Depending on how hot the day was, rinse and repeat.

In June and July, we might have 16 hours of daylight, but by late July the water level was too low. You'd spend most of your time walking the shallows. Which is okay in itself, but the whole idea was to float and watch the world go by.

I had almost no supervision over the summer months. There might be one or two farm houses over a mile stretch of gravel road. Father worked in a factory 50 miles away and my mother couldn't be bothered. Made sure nobody ever found out what I was up to.