How do you create a connection?

[sisselcakes]

Was looking for some input from others in the community. My bf is (undiagnosed) on the spectrum and I notice a pattern with us. When things become stressful he becomes more withdrawn and I become anxious because I feel disconnected. I am always the one to figure this out because he isn't much of a talker, so doesn't express his feelings easily.

Normally it goes like this. I will start to feel panicky, like I want to run, and then I realize it's because I feel like he's a virtual stranger- very disconnected and kind of lonely. Then I stop and realize what's happening and I can usually identify the stressor. Like right now I just realized he is preparing to move within the next few weeks and likely has a lot on his mind and lots of things to do.

Just looking for others' experience in trying to create a connection with your partner. What things work for you?

 

[Keigan]

As an Aspie and Alexi man, I know I have to make myself available at moments of anxiety within my best friend. So took the language of my best friend and I mimic it as reciprocation.

“I’m here, I’m Listening”

That creates a connection that demonstrates that I am here for my best friend at a moment of need, provides strength to work through the anxiety, and is not applying extra layers of pressure towards the anxiety and also y action is not withdrawing from the anxiety.

Simply opens doors for communication if and when needed, supporting without solutioning or avoiding.