Carnelian
Active Member
I'm near the end of my autism testing and on the 9th of October we're going in for a full profile/report/whatever from the multiple testing hours and sessions.
The lady said that it's quite possible that I'm a High Functioning Autistic. At first they said Aspergers.
But I'm wondering if that means I'm stupid or slower or more defective or something than if I had Aspergers like they originally said? Like, whenever I hear/see "Autistic" being portrayed they're people who can't speak or speak slowly and can't do things for themselves and live in residentials for the rest of their lives and etc. etc.
And I'm none of that. I have a higher-than-average IQ, am very verbally eloquent, and can take care of myself. I'm also able to become very good and efficient at tasks very quickly.
So, if I have High-Functioning Autism, does that mean that I'm more defective or broken or different or not as smart/etc. as someone with Aspergers?
I keep thinking about it and the idea that something is wrong with me is stewing in my brain and today my mom was watching a documentary about kids who grew up prodigies because they had donor sperm from geniuses and all the wonderful stuff they could do versus the one autistic kid the parents had and I'm like...I want to be smart and special and not dumb too. I don't want to be seen as "that kid who doesn't amount to much". I want to be seen as someone with the capibility for greatness. But if I have High-Functioning Autism, I feel like that must mean I don't have that, because as far as I know, Aspergers is the one where people are smarter/etc.
The lady said that it's quite possible that I'm a High Functioning Autistic. At first they said Aspergers.
But I'm wondering if that means I'm stupid or slower or more defective or something than if I had Aspergers like they originally said? Like, whenever I hear/see "Autistic" being portrayed they're people who can't speak or speak slowly and can't do things for themselves and live in residentials for the rest of their lives and etc. etc.
And I'm none of that. I have a higher-than-average IQ, am very verbally eloquent, and can take care of myself. I'm also able to become very good and efficient at tasks very quickly.
So, if I have High-Functioning Autism, does that mean that I'm more defective or broken or different or not as smart/etc. as someone with Aspergers?
I keep thinking about it and the idea that something is wrong with me is stewing in my brain and today my mom was watching a documentary about kids who grew up prodigies because they had donor sperm from geniuses and all the wonderful stuff they could do versus the one autistic kid the parents had and I'm like...I want to be smart and special and not dumb too. I don't want to be seen as "that kid who doesn't amount to much". I want to be seen as someone with the capibility for greatness. But if I have High-Functioning Autism, I feel like that must mean I don't have that, because as far as I know, Aspergers is the one where people are smarter/etc.