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onlything

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Hi everyone, a rather lost onlything here.

Not really sure what to write. That I am an aspie? That I think that I am an aspie? Aspie girl, aspie guy? Honestly, I'm tired of defending myself every time I tell someone what I really feel. It's like a neverending kaleidoscope of emotions and reactions I just can't understand and with unlogical lapses in judgments adding salt to the wounds. I would ask for a translator and a Guide to a Human Being but I'm afraid that would seem rather weird to all the people out there in the big bad world. Again.

When you're trying to be yourself, it's bad because you're never like others. A different, weird creature - a scary creature with no emotions. A robot, encyclopedia and a freak. But when you're trying to fit in, it's even worse because of the feeling of being just a mask, a pretender playing its part on a scene. Then, when you tell others that you think you can trust...

But you're completely normal!
Mental illnesses can be overcome!
So, you don't have emotions at all..?

Oh, really? No comment. I do.

In the race where the great award is being seen as normal, I put on so many masks that I lost sight of what is really me. In the end, I thought that maybe I could find it in a place for, seemingly, likeminded people. All the question of who I am, what I like, what I want, what is me, what people want, what people intend with me - these can be answered.

Can they really?

Congrats if you came to the end of this post. It's appreciated.

Cheers,
onlything
 
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Hi everyone, a rather lost onlything here.

Not really sure what to write. That I am an aspie? That I think that I am an aspie? Aspie girl, aspie guy? Honestly, I'm tired of defending myself every time I tell someone what I really feel. It's like a neverending kaleidoscope of emotions and reactions I just can't understand and with unlogical lapses in judgments adding salt to the wounds. I would ask for a translator and a Guide to a Human Being but I'm afraid that would seem rather weird to all the people out there in the big bad world. Again.

When you're trying to be yourself, it's bad because you're never like others. A different, weird creature - a scary creature with no emotions. A robot, encyclopedia and a freak. But when you're trying to fit in, it's even worse because of the feeling of being just a mask, a pretender playing its part on a scene. Then, when you tell others that you think you can trust...

But you're completely normal!
Mental illnesses can be overcome!
So, you don't have emotions at all..?

Oh, really? No comment. I do.

In the race where the great award is being seen as normal, I put on so many masks that I lost sight of what is really me. In the end, I thought that maybe I could find it in a place for, seemingly, likeminded people. All the question of who I am, what I like, what I want, what is me, what people want, what people intend with me - these can be answered.

Can they really?

Congrats if you came to the end of this post. It's appreciated.

Cheers,
onlything
Welcome
 
Welcome OnlyThing!

I relate to your explanation of feeling like you are always wearing a mask, and ultimately not knowing who you really are underneath it. I hope you find a some peace here among others who understand you, and your struggles. Welcome!
 
Hi everyone, a rather lost onlything here.

Not really sure what to write. That I am an aspie? That I think that I am an aspie? Aspie girl, aspie guy? Honestly, I'm tired of defending myself every time I tell someone what I really feel. It's like a neverending kaleidoscope of emotions and reactions I just can't understand and with unlogical lapses in judgments adding salt to the wounds. I would ask for a translator and a Guide to a Human Being but I'm afraid that would seem rather weird to all the people out there in the big bad world. Again.

When you're trying to be yourself, it's bad because you're never like others. A different, weird creature - a scary creature with no emotions. A robot, encyclopedia and a freak. But when you're trying to fit in, it's even worse because of the feeling of being just a mask, a pretender playing its part on a scene. Then, when you tell others that you think you can trust...

But you're completely normal!
Mental illnesses can be overcome!
So, you don't have emotions at all..?

Oh, really? No comment. I do.

In the race where the great award is being seen as normal, I put on so many masks that I lost sight of what is really me. In the end, I thought that maybe I could find it in a place for, seemingly, likeminded people. All the question of who I am, what I like, what I want, what is me, what people want, what people intend with me - these can be answered.

Can they really?

Congrats if you came to the end of this post. It's appreciated.

Cheers,
onlything

Hi Onlything. Welcome to AF!!!

Being on this site and looking around ought to be helpful for you. There is a wealth of good information and friendly people who have been through a lot of the same kinds of experiences, here. You can probably find answers to a lot of your questions, if you want to, on this site.
 
Welcome. You are not alone.

Your friends might not understand at first, but give them another chance and maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised. Remember that it will take them some time to get used to the new information, but then they'll realize you are the same person you have always been.
 
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