So I'm 40, female and from the UK, and have been struggling a lot recently. I have long standing mental health issues with depression, anxiety and have a diagnosis of Avoidant Personality Disorder but occassionally, and now, questions as to Autism are more on my mind and I'm not sure whether it's worth looking at having it assessed but then I think well maybe it's from other elements but then perhaps it all feeds into each other. I have never really been able to hold down a job due to flair ups of my emotions and I don't have friends and keep to myself mostly and am very reserved.. 'official' almost. The thing that stands out to me that isn't related to depression, but maybe is perfectly common, is I will engage in these list making behaviours of say what I think the coolest looking pokemon are (I don't play the games) or animals. The largest thing I did is I went through every animal on wikipedia, broke down all the orders into families, into genera etc etc. I don't really know why although I like animals? And I will overresearch thinkgs having to find the 'best' option. It's been suggested to me in the past that maybe I should look at it by family but then at times I haven't had the best relationship with family so maybe that was to dismiss how I was feeling.
The main thing that makes me think I will be wasting everyone's time is that there is a strong early childhood element of the diagnosis and to be honest I don't really remember how I was aside from I tried to get good grades, did what I was told, but had this stubborn sense of justice at times. Under the age of 10 I remember playing with the boys in my school more but I would drift and then after that I started isolating myself so maybe it's nothing. I'm trying to just write things that come to mind down at the moment and don't really like the idea of mentioning it to my family if I don't have to. However my mental health is pretty appalling at the moment and maybe it's another insight as to why and might give me more suitable options. I have a GP appointment this week and I have one final session with my counsellor if I wanted to maybe get the ball rolling or say find out what my counsellor thinks (I have been seeing her just over a year).
Anyway I appreciate your time and patience in reading that. I hope it was coherent as my mental state is in some flux lately. My name is Katie
The main thing that makes me think I will be wasting everyone's time is that there is a strong early childhood element of the diagnosis and to be honest I don't really remember how I was aside from I tried to get good grades, did what I was told, but had this stubborn sense of justice at times. Under the age of 10 I remember playing with the boys in my school more but I would drift and then after that I started isolating myself so maybe it's nothing. I'm trying to just write things that come to mind down at the moment and don't really like the idea of mentioning it to my family if I don't have to. However my mental health is pretty appalling at the moment and maybe it's another insight as to why and might give me more suitable options. I have a GP appointment this week and I have one final session with my counsellor if I wanted to maybe get the ball rolling or say find out what my counsellor thinks (I have been seeing her just over a year).
Anyway I appreciate your time and patience in reading that. I hope it was coherent as my mental state is in some flux lately. My name is Katie
