Hi and Hello

[The Q]

Hello, I'm Quinn. I'm a 23 y.o. man, visual artist, writer, and going into graduate school for social work.
I'm just looking for insight and research into my own issues. I have a history that leads me to believe I might be somewhere on the autism spectrum, but it's hard to say. My former therapist was more inclined to think a combination of cptsd/bipolar disorder, my psychiatrist disagreed and thought borderline personality disorder. This was some time ago and I'm self-reflecting to try to figure myself out a little bit more.
I have no doubt that childhood stress was a big factor of my current debilitating symptoms. But I wonder a lot if that had to do with my upbringing being ill-suited to me because of neurodivergence or not (looking back to what little I remember of childhood, there were a lot of signs that might be evidence.) I'll go more into detail about my specific experiences and symptoms at a later point.
Until I have the resources and initiative to actually get a certain diagnosis, I'm just doing my own research to see if it helps me at all.

 

[SusanLR]

Welcome The Q.

Look forward to reading about your experiences.
There are plenty of different ones posted on the forums here.
Take a look around and ask questions.

 

[Thinx]

Hi and welcome, sounds like you are creative and on an interesting career track, I think helping services can be a good fit for people with high autistic traits or Aspergers, though as with any job, there can be dilemmas and concerns, especially for the value-driven person. I hope you enjoy it here and find plenty of useful information and ideas.

 

[menander]

Welcome. I hope you learn a lot here.

 

[tree]

 

[clg114]

Welcome to Autism Forums!

 

[Giraffes]

Welcome to the forum.

 

[The Q]

Hi and welcome, sounds like you are creative and on an interesting career track, I think helping services can be a good fit for people with high autistic traits or Aspergers, though as with any job, there can be dilemmas and concerns, especially for the value-driven person. I hope you enjoy it here and find plenty of useful information and ideas.

It can definitely be draining. I'm not sure whether it's the right work for me yet but i do know there's a big need for internal advocacy in mental healthcare, firsthand perspectives. And yes I've been creating my whole life, it's always a sanctuary. Thank you for the kind words.

 

[Fino]

Holy moly, I'm also in graduate school for social work and I also have been told by various professionals that I'm either Bipolar or Borderline or autistic!

 

[The Q]

Holy moly, I'm also in graduate school for social work and I also have been told by various professionals that I'm either Bipolar or Borderline or autistic!

It really is a wild combination of factors at work to make for our kind of situation!
Honestly I think the biggest thing at play is constant negative childhood experiences. In the past we didn't have the social cues or tools to adapt to the universal rules of peer connection, or we have negative family experiences, or we're just "weird," and it makes us hypersensitive to others' emotional states. We may not know the group rules, but we've had to learn organically to evaluate how individuals work and how to mirror them just to keep up. Add to that the identity issues and dissociation that childhood stress produces and it makes a lot of sense how borderline is the label that comes up often. Not even getting into the atypical thought patterns often associated with borderline that echoes schizophrenia and spectrum. It "borders" so much.
As for bipolar, I think bipolar is often used as a stand-in for anyone with unstable moods, even if they don't have a predictable cycle....you know, the kind that trauma and/or spectrum can entail.